[InACorner]

i need to post this....like right now...immeditaly....however i dont know where this belongs..having a panick attack thingy because i cant find a moderator or anything to guide me....so i will post it here...well...because i have no idea where this would go...so please no one hate me....just move my post if you feel it is necessary and forgive me....im just kinda panicky and need to be told what to do otherwise i will mess up....see i already posted like a paragraph....on nothing but an apology...alrightty....trigger perhaps...its about forgetting.....

Ive come to the realization that I DONT REMEMBER.....by boyfriend was talking to me and we had a discussion on history stuff....i couldnt answer basic simple things...and then i started thinking...where was i for the past...oh 16 years....i dont remember alot...i remember bits...like a teacher here.....or that i had a pink snow white lunch box....but thats it...then i started thinking...well what DO i remember....i remember this week...and thats all....its like i remember a week before...and then its thrown away...never stored...nothing...i am either really really stupid.....or somethings just wrong with me...i thought Columbus thought the earth was flat....i mean come on...i said one of his ships was called the magenta.....i thought there was a continent on the very northern tip of the world...you like like antartica....but north....im losing my mind....i remember very little....why am i like this..what is going on..why am i so dumb....i dont remember being taught....my boyfriend said that its cuz i never paid attention....but i should remember something...i dont even know how to do my times tables ....i feel like a clean slate...and even though youd probably say...well thats what i should want....its not.....its scary....theres nothing...nothing...i feel like im supposed to be in kindergarden......i mean....where was I in 5th grade? Or 3rd grade? What did i learn??? This scares me....i can remember some things....but not alot.....i always thought...well im just ditzy....or i just have a bad memory....but this is creating real problems....i tried to take a math portion in a college test for placement....i got a 33% ...and it was basic alegbra...didnt even need a calculator......this has me feeling like im running in circles. im so scared....why dont i remember...what do i do.....

[sabby]

((((((((((((((((((inny)))))))))))))))))

This must be very scary and unnerving to you. Our brains are so complex. Many times, information we don't use often gets stored deeply somewhere. Something along the line might trigger it to come forward, other times it seems it's gone forever.

It could be that since you have been focusing on other things in your life, the information you were taught in school and part of your school life has just not been at the forefront of your thinking patterns. So, it just got filed away.

If it concerns you to the point of being upset over it, then you may want to see a doc about it. There are also cognitive trainings that you can use to help return your educational memory. You can do some net surfing for that information.

I'm sorry this is happening to you hon.

*Gentle Hugs*
J

do u remember me?

studies show that when ppl are so preoccupied in their minds with busy thoughts/racing thoughts/ anxiety etc that their ability to retain information is diminished.....

i know this to be true for myself and the clients i work with....

(((((inny))))))

[asylumgardens]

(((inny)))

Nothing is wrong with you! It's natural to forget things as time passes. Even happy memories fade. Personally, I keep a journal. I have for the past four years.. I wish I had started sooner because when I go back and read even four years ago, I don't remember some of those things happening! But when I write stuff as it occurs, it's there forever, and even if I forget, I have a reminder. You might like something like that. It's scary to forget, but never forget that you still have memories to make in the future.

[InACorner]

i remember you bronee....no worries hehe

but yes it is unnerving...and its not just school ive forgotten.its alot apparently.....for some reason....as i told a brief history to my ex therapist.....i realized i have no....logical timeline....according to myself...everything happened when i was 15/16 +years old...thats all i can really remember .....i mean this is very.....unlikely that everything i ever did or started was at 15 and 16 years of age....i think...i dont know...i dont know anymore.....i cant trust my thinking...its all to hazy for myself....and i can feel myself starting to lose memory of my high school days....i try to think of it.....and sometimes i remember.....it just takes quite a bit of effort.....and even then sometimes im not sure if its real or not.....im in a stupor....its like i walked through a dream and i pretend to woke up (now) and realized i cant remember what my dream was about or what happened.....and i say pretend....because i know im still forgetting....its very hard for me to understand here and now....i have a weird line in boundaries.....hard to distinguish past from prest at times....