[January]

something like, "I like your bright red blouse." or " It sure is hot today.", or just about anything but, "Oh my gosh, you look like *Hades*!"

That's a lot different from, "I noticed you're not feeling well, is there anything you need from the store or the pharmacy?"

This is true when we're having problems with our mental health issues as well as physical issues. If people would just remember to find some small thing to compliment someone who's sick, or even if they can't think of anything positive to say, say nothing.

I just finished talking to a well meaning, dear friend who told me not to be shocked if, (and I quote), "you're eaten up by cancer". Well, I sure feel good now! That surely gave me hope! (I hope you can hear the sarcasm dripping.)

Actually, I do feel a lot better than this morning, and I've worked my way back around to a decent mood, but I can't tell you the many people who've commented on how sick I look right now. Well meaning? Yes. Helping? No.

One day I was walking down the hallway in the hospital where the seats are placed for cancer patients waiting for radiation therapy. A little elderly lady was sitting there, all alone. She looked so sad that I sat down beside her and we had a really good time laughing and talking. We cheered each other up so that we both had a better day. Her husband was the one who was sick, and when he came out, she met him with a smile. It was so beautiful to watch.

I wish people irl would be as kind, cheering and compassionate as the members here at PC. There is so much love and support here. Sometimes it's easy to take it for granted, but it's so special.

Cheers,

Jan

[PasDeDeux]

((Jan))) I love the sparkly leaf you have as an avatar J/K I am sorry your friend said such a dumb thing and yes a kind word can make a day

[Noncomposmentis8]

I totaly agree!

[kimmydawn]

((((((( jan )))))))))

I'm glad you're feeling better than this evening.

I'm sorry for what your friend said. Sometimes a person just doesn't think before speaking and I've noticed that can mostly seem to happen with illnesses.

I'm sorry that happened.

KD

((((( Jan )))))

Jan ((((hugs)))

[sabby]

(((((((((((Jan))))))))))



xoxoxo
Jean

[January]

(((((((((( Friends )))))))))))))

Thank you so much. Maybe today will be a better day. It definately helps that you care enough to make a comment or send a hug.

Hugs for everyone,

Jan

[January]

My exact thought when people tell me I look bad, is "Oh yeah? You should see me without my makeup!"

I'm sorry some people don't seem to know how to be supportive or kind......

You are so sweet, I can't imagine someone not being kind to you-- even like what you said here: </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
My exact thought when people tell me I look bad, is "Oh yeah? You should see me without my makeup!"

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

see-- I would have said something like... "Well, have you looked in the mirror at yourself lately?"
I'm not very nice when in such situations-- but you---
you hold your sweet disposition even when others don't-- that's what I admire about you!

Hope you continue to feel better.
Jan--

mandy

I think you are beautiful Jan. Tall, but beautiful.

(((((((((((((jan))))))))))))))

sometimes people can be so cutting. we all love you. kind, sweet, caring, beautifulperson that you are.

love and a great big hug, kerry xoxoxoxoxxo

[SerenitysWave]

<font color="purple"> I thank you for posting about this, b/c I am one of those pple that tends to say the stupid "gee you look like crap!" and I honestly never thought much about what I was saying until now... And I really dont mean it as an insult, but as a " you should be home taking care of yourself".... But I will remember in the future that a positive remark is more helpful and welcoming when one is already feeling ill...

I am glad that you are feeling better.... </font>

<font color="#000088"> I can see where you're coming from, because I've been sick for almost 2 years, and people say things to me a lot to. Like reminding you how bad you feel, by how pale your face is, they just go right ahead and tell you how your face looks,like you don't already know.
And a lot of times it just makes you want to climb back in bed,and cry yourself to sleep,because it seems like it's all you seem to hear anymore,and that your life is just turned upside down.
But I know how hard it is to deal with,and it's not easy to tell others to stop saying all those things, because you don't want to sound rude to them,even though you're not,you're just protecting yourself.But maybe it would help if each day when you look in the mirror,you could tell yourself something good about how you look that day,or how you feel.Even if it's the smallest thing,like "It's so good I didn't wake up with a headache today". You see what I mean,if you can't control what others say, you can alway's tell yourself and there's nothing wrong with that.I'm sorry your friend was so insensitive with what she said to you, that was not very nice.
But I think you're great,I hope that makes you feel any better! </font>

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((((( Jan ))))))))))))))))))

xoxox