i'm going to try when trying feels futile

hi guys,

it's been a real rollercoaster this past year between relapsing into pyschosis-getting better after upping meds-and my ocd running my life now. i developed severe tinnitus (ringing in the ears) and none of my old coping skills have helped my ocd and tinnitus.

i feel like whatever i do i can't ever walk in a field again without headphones on-sit around without a fan on. i hear ringing sounds coming from tvs which drive me crazy. now my blood pressure or pulse has gone up to the point i cant excercise without getting wobbly legs.

apart from that i think i'm ready to try again even though I feel it will never be the same after the relapse. i deserve to be happy and have whatever quality of life is left. so i'm going to try again by losing weight and trying to quit cigarettes (one at a time). i'm going to fight through the sedation to create art more. i'm going to try and nurture myself and be brave.

i'm going to try even though it feels futile.

- dave

Hello dave: I have tinnitus, along with Meniere's disease. So I have some idea of what you're experiencing. I've had it for... oh-h-h... maybe 7 or 8 years now. At one point a doctor put an ear tube in one ear & it caused my tinnitus to explode! It sounded like I had a freight train running through my head 24 / 7! My pdoc put me on Klonopin. It helped immensely. Once the ear tube was removed, my tinnitus settled back down to a manageable level so I went off of the Klonopin. During that time period, I also saw an ENT who gave me an ear treatment called a "perfusion". It's supposed to help with tinnitus. I don't actually know if it did, or if it was just getting rid of the ear tube that caused the improvement. Anyway, I still have that constant whistling in my head. But it's tolerable &, over the years, I've learned to live with it. But you're right... it's tough...

Well done you. Showing lots of courage.