[lost_lonely]

Wouldn't it be great if there was a switch that we could flip to turn off all the negative emotions? Things have been so tough lately, I recently lost my job and so far am having no luck in finding a new one. I was unemployed for six months before, and am scared to death I will be again. There are other things, that I'd rather not mention, also going on. I find if I start thinking or dwelling on something bad, these awful feelings of anxiety, panic and fear will overwhelm me and I'll suddenly like the world is falling down on top of me. I can't stop, and this happens sometimes just out of the blue, when I'm doing or thinking something totally unrelated. All I can do is collpase on my bed and cry. I hate it. That's when the sucidal feelings really hit hard.
Up to this point in my life, everyone has left me. I have no friends to speak of, and I'm so lonely I just want to stand in the middle of the street and scream and scream until someone finally notices me. At my old job, I think I may have found someone who actually wants to be with me, but I'm so used to being abandoned, I constantly feel paranoid about him leaving. He leads a very busy life, and he does make time for me, but if he doesn't call for whatever reason or has a legitimate reason for having to re-schedule our plans, I go completely off the wall. I will immdiately begin to suspect that something else is going on, even when it probably isn't. These thoughts, fears and obsessions are completely unrational, but I just can't stop them. I just want to be happy, with someone who really cares about me. What is so wrong with that? It's killing me slowly, from the inside out.
There are some things worse than dying. Feeling.
Anyway, in the midst of all this, when I'm able to think a little clearer, I keep thinking how badly I want to flip that switch in my brain, and tune out all those negative, painful emtions. If only we could, right?

Just a thought.

Well spoken; I'm sorry that things have been so tough for you lately...and congrats on the new interest; I too struggle with the trust issues...My ex-wife couldn't understand why I didn't trust, and then when she had an affair wondered why I felt justified in not trusting. It's so difficult to be so alone...if there's one thing that most of us have in common in these forums is that we feel so alone. Unfortunately, we're not able to turn off these negative emotions like a light switch.
Thanks for sharing,
Blessings,
Jon

[Rapunzel]

Sometimes it would be nice to be able to turn off negative emotions. Even a dimmer switch. Some of us feel the negative emotions much more intensely than is useful. But, another thing to consider is that those emotions do serve a purpose. For one thing, if we were not feeling negative emotions, then what would motivate us to change? You could lose your job, switch off the negative emotions, and then not care about looking for a new one, and not even care if you ran out of money, got turned out on the street, and had no food to eat, and maybe you would do nothing about it. The other thing is that how would we know what it is to feel good if we didn't feel the bad stuff? You have to know bitter in order to appreciate sweet.
Wendy

<font color=orange>"Never forget: 2 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2."</font color=orange>

[dexter]

I feel very strongly that pain and sadness are a necessary part of life. All of life is conflict: good/bad, male/female, light/dark, yin/yang. Can't have one without the other.

It has to be in balance though. For us the dark aspects take over and subdue the light. I don't feel I have to make my depression go away, I feel I have to bring it back into balance. That has been my goal all through this.

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--http://www.idexter.com