[lovelypher]

I am a freshman in college and I feel like my life is just an endless pit of sadness and anxiety. I constantly want to go home, I feel like I'm going to fail at being an adult, and I don't know who to turn to. I see a therapist every week and I am also on meds but they don't seem to be working. I can never calm myself down and when I am physically alone at school I can't handle it. I feel like I have no friends here and I feel like I am such a baby for wanting to go home all the time. When I am here I am not happy, when I am home I am happy. My family is the biggest support group I have.

I am also so stressed out with exams. I have so many coming up and I just don't know how I am going to pass them with all this worrying on my plate. I worry about my future, my lack of friends, if I will ever be happy again, if I can handle adulthood, if I will always be anxious and depressed. I feel trapped. I don't know what to do or which way to turn.

Try not to look at everything at one time, for you'll get overwhelmed. And don't worry about hypotheticals.

Take a deep breath, break it down, everything is going to be okay.

I hope this helps.

[Open Eyes]

Hi lovelypher, welcome to Psych Central.

When I went to orientation with my daughter to the college she was about to attend, they had the students go somewhere else and the parents sit in the auditorium. The speaker got up and told the parents that many of their children would struggle this first year and call home wanting to come home. The speaker said, "Do not let your children come home, it is so normal that they will be very uncertain and stressed and even frightened about being in college with a lot of other students they don't know. Your children are used to the intimacy of their own high school in their own towns, this is very much different and will take them time to adjust to.

I thought I would share that with you so that you know what you are feeling is actually VERY NORMAL.

Ofcourse you feel like you will fail at being an adult, thing is, that is something one develops into GRADUALLY. We gradually grow into our adulthood, and part of that is "making mistakes" too. Also slowly accepting that in the real world, there is no such thing as "perfect". You are new at college, college teaches us to learn how to learn and we do that all our lives.

We learn by "doing" so what that means is we attend a class and listen and we have homework, part of the learning is in "doing" the homework. Part of the "learning" is going to the library, looking up information, sitting and reading through it, writing things down (notes) and practicing "learning itself" also if one struggles with a subject, learning how to go to the teacher and ask for help, even look for a tutor to help one learn whatever they are trying to learn.
My daughter struggled with calculous, so she found a tutor, she was not perfect, but she slowly learned how to learn formulas and then remember them and problem solve from that. Was she perfect at it? No, but she did learn something that helped her on her "learning how to learn journey".

College exposes individuals to a new "learning" experience it is a place to "grow" and it doesn't have to be "perfect". Not everything one learns in college will actually be used in their life either. My daughter for example has a fantastic job revolving around statistics and examining these statistics and working out a certain products for huge companies. She never uses calculous, however, she learned the benefits of using "formulas" which she tapped onto using in her career and she is actually "very good" at what she does. And, when she was a freshman, she never pictured herself doing what she does now in her career, and she was far from being the adult she is now.

It takes time in learning how to learn and slowly figuring out how you can use what you learn in your life. Expecting yourself to know that now is not being reasonable with yourself.

Take a moment to see yourself as a trusted adult to attain a higher education. We all struggled hard to get where we are. Our stories may vary but they basically are all the same. We all questioned ourselves, our ability to endure and then one day we wake up and it all comes together. Hang in there. It isn't easy but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, tc

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by lovelypher

I am a freshman in college and I feel like my life is just an endless pit of sadness and anxiety. I constantly want to go home, I feel like I'm going to fail at being an adult, and I don't know who to turn to. I see a therapist every week and I am also on meds but they don't seem to be working. I can never calm myself down and when I am physically alone at school I can't handle it. I feel like I have no friends here and I feel like I am such a baby for wanting to go home all the time. When I am here I am not happy, when I am home I am happy. My family is the biggest support group I have.

I am also so stressed out with exams. I have so many coming up and I just don't know how I am going to pass them with all this worrying on my plate. I worry about my future, my lack of friends, if I will ever be happy again, if I can handle adulthood, if I will always be anxious and depressed. I feel trapped. I don't know what to do or which way to turn.

I have been where you are. I hope you can try this. Set aside time each day to prepare for your exams. You might think you can't because you are so busy feeling awful, but set aside your feelings for an hour and just read your text and the notes, go over old quizzes, look at the handouts--whatever it is you have from each class. Try to do this for 2 classes a day. Then after the study time is up, get some fresh air. Go for a walk or bike ride, dance to music, work out. If you feel you need to do more studying, go back and study for another hour. Then stop and do something pleasant: watch tv, write emails to family and friends; etc.

What I am encouraging you to do is to manage your time productively and pleasantly. Then long term, consider if you'd really rather go to a school closer to home. Before you automatically say "no!" because so many college students think everything school related is set in stone--really think about what it is you want to do for yourself to make a happy life for yourself. Maybe you will decide to stay where you are--but you'll feel better about that choice.

I know it is hard to break habits. But your habit of worry and stress is not helping you. Chip away at it by re-directing your energies in a positive way (studying, getting exercise, and pleasant diversion for your mind (relaxation is important) and keep up with your therapy and meds and I think you'll feel better. By the way, if you really think the medicine is ineffective, make sure to discuss that with your doctor. Sometimes it is a matter of dose, or switching to another prescription and for that you need the aid of the doctor.

Courage! You can do this.