[Impala]

My nature is to ask questions,to search for"why" things may have gone wrong in certain situations and then try to "put them right".I can spend a great deal of my time doing this.This applies to relationships as well as other situations in life.Yet,when I look back on things ,in general terms ,things seem to have a greater chance of turning out the way I want them to if I relax and back off.Anyone else found this?

[DePressMe]

I understand what you are feeling—my boyfriend does the same thing. Whenever there is anything slightly “wrong” he feels compelled to figure it out and fix it.

I seem to want to figure things out, but I am often paralyzed when it comes to actually trying to fix things. I come up with all these great ideas on how to make things better, but I have a tough time acting on them.

Sometimes when my boyfriend is trying to fix things I want to tell him to just chill—let things alone for awhile—sometimes things just need a little time. Of course, I think a balance between our 2 styles would be best.

[Peanuts]

I think I know what you mean. Many times when I am trying and trying to get something to work or "fixed" it seems that the tangle gets bigger and bigger and everyone just ends up frazzled. I've recently been letting go and allowing some time to occur before jumping in and trying to manage or fix.

So far, allowing events to playout within the time frame necessary has resulted in better situations and everyone, especially me, is less frazzled. Often, unexpected opportuntities that I would not have seen before present themselves that lead to better outcomes.

[bebop]

sure I agree with that!

[Irine]

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Impala said:
My nature is to ask questions,to search for"why" things may have gone wrong in certain situations and then try to "put them right".I can spend a great deal of my time doing this.This applies to relationships as well as other situations in life.Yet,when I look back on things ,in general terms ,things seem to have a greater chance of turning out the way I want them to if I relax and back off.Anyone else found this?

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yes! i found out that analizing and trying to figure out and make conclussions can waste your time..
if you relax you feel better..you may have FAITH IN LIFE.
it is very important. then things end up on YOUR side!

[Impala]

Yes...................I find the hardest thing is getting to the point where you actually relax though.............I don't seem to get there until I've gone through all the frantic efforts to fix first! Why can't I just relax from the outset??!

[eskielover]

I have noticed with my move here to Kentucky that everything works out when it is supposed to. It seems that when it is supposed to happen, it will.

When I started looking for the farm, the barn person was there when I needed him to help me know if the property was ok. The home inspector was available the friday before I left for California so I could be there to go through the house with him.

When I returned for the escrow closing, I was in a completely new place by myself & had to find out the best people to do the jobs I needed. I learned that I needed to open my ears & listen & even take notes on everything that everyone was telling me. I found the best painter & then he was able to direct me to the best people to do the other jobs I need done & those people could direct me to other people. It seemed that everyday, something was opening up so that something else I needed could happen. I couldn't force anything......I didn't have the option & I had to sit back & just let things happen. I procrastinated & procrastinated in picking out my carpet for my house. I was given the name of a great carpet layer, but didn't have a way to contact him. I finally got brave & called where he worked & got that information (in California, they would have told me they don't give out that information). I left several messages & finally realized on Friday that if I didn't pick out my carpet, I wouldn't have it in by the time I leave to get my furniture moved. I specifically stayed this long just to get the painting & carpeting in. Well, just about 1/2 hour before I was leaving for the carpet store, the man came to my door (he is a neighbor), checked out the rooms for laying the carpet & said no problem......he would be glad to do it.

I have found that everything that I need always works out in it's own time.....the more I push & if I get angry about people not doing something, it only takes longer & frustrates me more. Since I have arrived here in Kentucky, they are all layed back & everyone is happy & calm. It is so much different than the California life I have had for 54 years. I love it, & for some reason, I fit right in. I have to admit, I like to be in control of things & know what needs to be done & to be able to direct everything, but I have found in the last 1 1/2 months that I can still do that with a layed back attitude. I am actually getting more done & everything is being done right with a quality that I never saw before.

It has been a learning experience & I decided that I had to come into this situation, not knowing it all or trying to control it all in my time frame & everything is working out better than I could have ever imagined in my wildest dreams.

I have taken the same attitude with finding the workers to do my barn. When the right people come along, it will get done & they always come along when I least espect it & everything works out better than if I could have forced it to happen. I have learned too that I have to be one with my environment around me & NOTICE everything that is going on around me. Like my neighbor was grading for building a new house on his land & making a driveway that I also needed for access to my barn area. I saw it going on & went over to talk about what he was doing & we were able to make it work best for both of us. That was the one thing that I would add to the relaxing to make things right, is also being completely one with the environment around you, so that you are aware of & use what is going on around you to your advantage.....that way, you don't have to force anything & it always seems to work out better in the long run.

[Impala]

I've been thinking more about this.Is what we're all saying here that actually we believe in "fate" (whatever that is exactly!).What I mean is,kind of letting things happen rather than trying to force them?

[DePressMe]

I know this is a little different than what some believe…but, I don’t believe in fate. I believe meaning in life is created by each individual. It is up to me to give meaning to my life. So, in some respects, I have to go out there and make things happen, but like everything, moderation is the key. Just my thoughts…