[Fuzzybear]

Don't get close to anyone because you'll be hurt, like I was.


10000000 foot walls rock.

[therealme]

(((((((((((((((fuzzy))))))))))))))))

do you know i wish to hold your hand, and help you through
high walls are good, but when they come tumbling down, we have to run out of its way

dec xox

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((((( Dec )))))))))))))))))))

I think getting close is ok as long as our expectations are reasonable. If we're expecting others to be our rescuers then we will be let down, or if we do not know where we end and others start then that can course problems. I think we can get close to people and allow things to go wrong sometimes and still come out of it ok wiht ourselfs.

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks mouse, you articulated what I'm starting to think too.....

[pegasus]

Having boundaries is good, but remember the wall doesn't need to be too high. It's called taking care of yourself.

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks pegasus!

[SongBirdandDaisy]

(No oops, just like the purple cheeks)

((((((((((fuzzy))))))))

I would have put lots of swirling hearts but for some reason, the smileys won't come up.

Relationships are hard and learning trust is hard. Giving trust is even harder, especially when that trust has been broken. I hope that soon you will be able to place this hurt in a better perspective.

My heart is here with you.

Hugs, SBD

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((( SongBirdandDaisy )))))))))))))))

[SongBirdandDaisy]

Fuzzy

I figured out where the smileys went

[Fuzzybear]

[kimmydawn]

I think it's great to get close to others. Without it we might not get specifically hurt by a potential action of their's, but we'd always hurt because we never feel a closeness or connection?

Yes, when we get close we can be vulnerable to hurt and I think others have addressed that very well...boundaries and expectations being so important as we let down walls we replace with appropriate boundaries and expectations.

Still yet, we're gonna get hurt at times. If we look at the intent and it wasn't bad, it's on us how we deal with the hurt? That was the biggie for me, the hurt triggered past hurt and it became this huge snowball spiraling downhill.

That's where it was important for me to clearly see and work with my past so I could see my present much more clearly and realistically. It can be done.

KD

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks kimmy!!

I do think that sometimes people's pain can cloud perceptions of intent though. How can we really know? Our experience in life? Whatever.

[SongBirdandDaisy]

Our experience in life - yup. That is what creates our perceptions. AND thank God for good psychologists for helping us there.

It is difficult to know what is "correct" and what isn't. I am constantly questioning my psychologist about that. Having a hurtful past clouds everything but I think the more one asks questions to clarify, the better understanding one has of who they are and what they perceive. It's easy to say "don't let it bother you" but not realistic since our feelings are our own and valid. The only thing we can do is try to help ourselves in understanding where another might be coming from and give the benefit of the doubt. Some days, it's better than others.

I so do struggle with reality and what reality actually is.

[Fuzzybear]

[(JD)]

It is a risk when we try to become closer to others... but often it is well worth that risk!

I agree about expectations... that and also the control issues rise. We become disillusioned if we go into a relationship with expectations of control.

The only person I can control is myself. That goes for each of us, really. So when a relationship fails, it isn't just the other person's doing or lack of doing, it's partially our own too.

What's important I think is that we learn from each failed relationship. Trying to evaluate it, find all points of view, take the good from it and move on. What can we learn about ourselves in each of these experiences?

It's very easy to say the other person wasn't a true friend. Sometimes that's true. But true friendship, imo, causes both sides to keep working at the relationship when things go sour, as they do at times.

It takes a strong person to look at what they need to do to make stronger friendships, and then set about correcting the weaknesses. It also takes a wise person to know when to leave a relationship, and leave the ill feelings with it.

((((FuBe))))

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( Sky ))))))))))))))

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Fuzzybear said:
Don't get close to anyone because you'll be hurt, like I was.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

<font color="purple"> ((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))) </font>

I use to think that exact same way.................. and still do at times - but over all I can say that I am glad that I allowed myself the privilege to trust just a small handful of people enough to actually be able to LEARN & FEEL what LOVE IS.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((((( Rhapsody ))))))))))))))))))

[bipolar_bear]

Relationships can be so tricky but rejecting them can make a life full of lonliness and isolation. It is hard when a relationship ends but each one had its good parts and maybe that is what can be cherished and remembered. That does not take away the hurt and I am sorry that you are feeling that now. I hope you don't give up on friends as there are many people that care about you very much. Please take care of yourself. ((((((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))))))))))))

BB

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((( fuzzy ))))))))))))

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I do think that sometimes people's pain can cloud perceptions of intent though. How can we really know? Our experience in life? Whatever.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Yep, that was HUGE for me. My past experience was YUCK.

I had to just do it...take the leap. As I did, I learned and added to the old, bad experiences with newer experiences as myself as an adult. I literally had to mix in, then replace (while still keeping it close) the old. It gives to a much more realistic experience for me when hurt.

Love,

KD

[Rhapsody]

This USE to be the SONG of my MY LIFE.......

<div><embed src="http://www.pcplats.com/mediaplayer.swf" width="480" height="400" bgcolor="#FFFFFF" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" flashvars="displaywidth=480&displayheight=360&file=http%3A//content.movies.myspace.com/0016390/57/01/1639081075.flv&shareURL=http%3A//www.pcplats.com/video-1233722-Foreigner-I-Want-To-Know-What-Love-Is.shtml&shareCode=http%3A//www.pcplats.com/video-1233722-Foreigner-I-Want-To-Know-What-Love-Is.shtml&mailURL=http%3A//www.pcplats.com/tellafriend.php%3Fid%3D1233722%26artist%3DForeigner%26title%3DI%20Want%20To%20Know%20What%20Love%20Is&iTunesImage=http%3A//a1.phobos.apple.com/r10/Music/9f/0a/11/mzi.niymnxev.170x170-75.jpg&iTunesURL=http%3A//click.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/click%3Fid%3D/eznwUrnA1Y%26offerid%3D78941.131280892%26type%3D15%26subid%3D0&albumImage=http%3A//a1.phobos.apple.com/r10/Music/y2005/m07/d05/h12/s06.lekrpztx.170x170-75.jpg&albumURL=http%3A//click.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/click%3Fid%3D/eznwUrnA1Y%26offerid%3D78941.74218428%26type%3D15%26subid%3D0&repeatList=false&autostart=false" scale="showall" allowFullScreen="true"/><div style="font:10px arial,sans-serif">Foreigner Videos | Music Video Codes | St. Paul Homes</div></div>

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((((( bipolar_bear )))))))))))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((((( kimmy ))))))))))))))))))

[Fuzzybear]