[Wintery]

I don’t believe I’m ‘real’? As in I’m not a ‘real' person?

The doctor thinks it's a delusion… I dunno, but I just know that I’m not real, that I don’t exist like other people do. Nothing adds up with me. Nothing is normal. Not the same. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

Everything in my ‘life’ reveals the truth of my non-existence. I can feel it inside of me, and everything around me confirms it is true. God knows I’m not real too, but it’s just that he made me that way. I dunno why, but I don’t really believe certain things exist in me, like, I have no thoughts, or emotions, or feelings. It’s not real. If I do cry I immediately stop or can’t cry because I realize it’s fake. Not real.

It’s not that I think I’m dead, but I’m not exactly alive either, but I just don’t think being alive exists. I also think the world doesn’t really exist anymore.

Sorry if this isn't the right spot to post. This whole thing takes over my life and I can’t get out of it. I’m on anti-psychotic but I’ve always believed in this. I think I’ve not been real for my whole life. What is this?

Did your doctor mention disassociation to you?

[Crazy Hitch]

Yeah what rainday said ... I'm not sure if you want to discuss disassociation / depersonalisation with your doc.

[Ceara1010]

Yes, I immediately thought the same thing--disassociation.

--Ceara1010

Cogito Ergo Sum

latin for "I think, therefre I am"

[Wintery]

thank you for replies.

I dunno if it's disassociation... or if they mentioned it, because the doctor doesn't tell me anything, just asks me questions and then I don't ask any either. I have lots of trouble with expressing myself, and the only reason I found out they think it's delusional is cause when I was forced into hospital that's what it said on the paper...I felt betrayed, but I got over it eventually...I dunno what they think about it now.

I was in a psychosis program and changed doctors a few times, I guess I think some strange things, but I don't hear anything or see anything...but sometimes I think they don't believe me cause they always ask me....

[*Laurie*]

Check out (google) the depersonalization forum.

[amandalouise]

here in the USA they make the distinction between ....

Believing

vs

Feeling

oneself is not real.

Believing oneself is not real is called psychosis and delusional beliefs. the reason behind it is if you were not real you would not be on this earth physically. you have a physical, tangible body, someone can touch you, someone has to say excuse me in order to get by you if you are standing in their way, physically you exist. therefore when one ....believes... they are not real, its called being out of touch with reality, having delusions, hallucinations, delusional thoughts\belief depending upon which terms the treatment provider is using.

where as someone who ......feels.....like they are not real but knows they are real, that they do have a physical body, that they do exist, they just ..........feel........ disconnected from their self thats called many things like dissociation, depersonalization, depersonalization\derealization disorders. the reason its called this is because here in the USA reality testing remains intact. a person knows whats real and what isnt, a person know they really exist, they just ....feel ....like they dont.

my suggestion is to continue going according to what your own treatment providers are calling it. since they feel this is delusions in you thats a good thing because medication can help you to feel better. it may take some time and a few different meds to find the right ones but it will happen.

The people giving you the label(s), ask them to explain what it means or why they have thought this applies to you. Your mental health providers ought to be doing this anyway.