attitudes

Since I have been here in Kentucky & getting my home all ready to move into, I have hired people to do every kind of task imaginable to get my house spiffed up, cleaned up, & made as ready as possible before ever moving anything into it. I have been here just over 2 months already & will be here only just over 1 more week before having to go back to California to take care of business there.

I have come to a major realization about human nature & the people I have met here have given me more insight into that than ever before in my life.

Every person who has come to do jobs around my house, Chimney cleaning, painting, carpet laying, carpet cleaning, carpentry, air conditioner repair, pool repair, internet setup, bushhogging, bulldozing & all the people who I come in contact with at the do-it-yourself stores have one thing in common.......they are all HAPPY with what they are doing & are PROUD of the jobs they do.....they do OUTSTANDING work......not just the "get by with it" or "that's good enough' type of attitudes......really outstanding. They are the nicest, happiest people. They are not rich, but are very satisfied & everyone is so kind & willing to go out of their way to make everything absolutely perfect. They are so willing to impart information to me...not holding information back. They don't charge unreasonable rates either & at times, almost seem to work for nothing. They don't grumble & complain about anything. They are upbeat & just really enjoy their lives. Their work ethics here are beyond imagination.....& they always end the job with an offer that if there is anything else they can do to help around the house, they are always there. I find that they can be slow & methodical, but the perfectionist attitude gives them the means to do the quality jobs that they do. I haven't come across one person that I haven't enjoyed getting to know & would definitely recommend to other people to do work for them. Most of these people are booked up months in advance.....& have jobs lined up continuously. It is their own personal businesses & they are definitely proud of the work they do.

This is so different from the workers I would hire in California. There, everyone was grumbling.....complaining about everything....having excuses as to why they couldn't do something you asked them to do or why it took them over a year to get a simple 2 hour job finished. The negativity I found in California over my 54 years of living there is something I haven't encountered even once here.

I feel blessed because everything is just falling into place. Getting into an older house is quite different than buying a new one. It seems that everything I start to do turns up another problem, something else that needs to be done before something else can be completed. Water damage in the floor boards needed fixed before laying the carpet....little things like that kept coming up. I was hoping to hire the carpet layer that is my neighbor but had a hard time contacting him.....just when I was giving up, he showed up at my door. Everytime I think about something that I need to do, the person or contact ends up showing up. I always swore that things don't just get handed to you on a silver platter, but sometimes even that isn't true......it seems like everything I need always comes to me just at the time when I need it......& it isn't me who is making that happen.....however I am aware of my surroundings so that I can take advantage of everything that comes into my life.

The other attitude I have come to the realization about is that of "being able to do anything"....not the invincible type of do anything, but the practical do-it-yourself jobs on the simple things that are within my means. Things I have never done before or even thought about doing before.....like working on my lawn tractor, touchup painting, replacing electrical switches, & installing new lighting fixtures.....plumbing, & a million other little jobs around the house. I find that I don't have to have my hand held or be taught to do anything. I just need to read the instructions (several times sometimes), but in the end, it all comes together & I am proud of all the things I CAN do by myself. I found that when I had someone else around to want to depend on to get something done, it was easy to pass the job off to that other person & then they wouldn't do it & I would get mad rather than just do it myself. Now that I don't have anyone around to depend on, I am actually happier......& I enjoy doing all the little tasks that come up. I look at them as challenges, puzzles.....sometimes it takes awhile to figure out how to do them, but in the end, it always turns out great. I get the tasks done......even though the list is getting a bit longer than what I will be able to finish before leaving. It seems that jobs that I would avoided before, I enjoy doing. The positive attitudes that I am surrounded by are definitely great to adapt into my life. It was something that wasn't strange to me, it was just an attitude that was burried for quite awhile & has been awakened by my new environment. I am finding that this is the real me....the me that has been long burried & never completely realized until now.

Looking analitically at the situation, it seems to me that is all comes down to attitudes....positive, can do vs. negative, can't do. Being around that negative I realize really brings me down & takes away my positive energy for doing things. I know that I am not an exceptional or especially talented person.....I am just an ordinary person with ordinary abilities, so if I can do something, anyone else could do it too. I think it is just a matter of wanting to do things. My husband is full of excuses as to why he can't to things. He puts more energy into finding excuses rather than just doing them. I have given a warning to my husband that I will not tolerate living with that negative life style in the future. I need to know that isn't going to happen before ever opening up my doors here. I have found that within these 2 months that I am quite capable of handling my life, & actually better at it now that I am in control of my surroundings. I need him to come to some realizations in his life. He needs to decide if he values his negative attitudes so much that he can't let go of them or whether having a positive future is more valuable than holding onto his negative values. Looking at my life, I realize that choice was mine also & I had to make the same kind of choices....otherwise, I could continue my miserable life here in Kentucky, but I am not willing to do that & not willing to let someone who wants to hold onto those values into my close 24/7 life. This is the final line I am drawing for changes to be made & this time, I am not going to be flexable, thinking it will just take time & it will be ok. It is now or never.

This is the independent life I imagined for myself when I was in college before I got married & went from living with my parents to living the married life. Now that I have given this lifestyle a chance, I love it, & it is the REAL me. I have found that being around positive people is very good for me too. My negative feelings & the energy that I put into fighting took too much out of me. The peacefulness I am experiencing here is something I want to embrace & never let go of. This is a turning point in my life & I will never go back.

I have found that attitude is everything in my life. It has taken getting away from my old life & getting unburried from the ruts I was in, but the picture I see is a beautiful painting of the future......& I want to keep this positive, can do attitude as the only focus in my life....of course, I have to add that my religion is an important part of my life too, & I have found that again here too, in a little itty, bitty church in the next town away from where I live.

Every aspect of my life is coming together just like my house...patching the pieces that are messed up, not just covering them over with paint to make them look pretty.....& without a change in my attitudes, that could never happen. There wasn't a negative attitude I had that was worth embracing & not letting go of. The happiness, peacefulness, & lack of bad stress I am feeling must be an indication that things are right for me.

So I hold with the concept that attitude is everything in my life,
Debbie

I'm happy for you Debbie. It is attitude. We can be positive or negative.....you are right about your not letting the hubby in if he continues to be negative. (you'll love living alone. )

I have been all over this country and I can tell you this. the people in the south are very friendly and very helpful. not saying other parts are not but in general the attitude is just different. like neighbors help neighbors like they use to years ago.
by the way. welcome to the south lol

{{{{{{{{{{{Debbie}}}}}}}}}}}} You continue to amaze and inspire me!!

bebop,

Thanks for the welcome to the south......you are definitely right......in this small town, all the neighbors really look out for each other. It's just like having family here & I feel well accepted here already.

I also love the friendly waving that everyone does.....everyone acknowledges that others exist......you are actually a person here. I try so hard not to be known as that snobby Californian.....but there are times when I am in the front yard & have my hands full or am engrosed in something that I don't even hear an auto driving by. I try not to let that happen often because I don't want to become known as that snobby Californian. Not an attitude I want to be associated with either.
Debbie

I hear ya Debbie. but people do understand when you are working in your yard even in the small town I am in now it is different than when I lived in Atlanta. No one waved at you there and now when my hubby and I are going down the road and someone waves at us (usually I am driving) my hubby asks "who was that"? lol I tell him I have no idea lol