Falling apart

I keep lashing out. I get so angry and then so sad and the next moment I'm apologizing to her and begging her not to leave me. She keeps saying that she won't and sometimes I believe her and am grateful and sometimes I push her away and tell her to leave me and that i'm horrible and bad for her. I have no self worth. I have no strength to keep doing this. And my psych appointment is a month away. I need her here, but she is 200km away and can't come here when she wants. And then I lash out ad say that she doesn't care because she isn't here.

I am going to lose her and if that happens I will die.

Hello Liinu: I'm sorry you are struggling. The Skeezyks is also struggling with serious anger issues. I'm an older person & I'm married. But otherwise I am pretty-much entirely solitary. I lash out at my poor wife for no good reason. Then I spend the rest of the day beating myself up for what I've done. I often think my wife should leave me. Sometimes I find myself wishing she would. Then I could be completely & totally alone. Every time I lash out, I tell myself I won't do it again. But then I do. I don't know what the answer to this is. But I just wanted to let you know you are not alone...

Living with self worth problems is so incredibly difficult. I hope you are able to one day see that you are worthy. (((((Hugs)))))

I too are at this moment falling apart or my life is crumbling like toast. I forever have had chronic severe depression, which is why in less than a week I've been dumped. I'm just the opposite of you, I shut down and become non verbal. What makes it worse it that we've dated 2.5 yes and he bought me a diamond ring less than a month ago. He has half of his stuff at my house, at the end of September he was planning on moving in. Once a month or so he would find my every flaw and throw it in my face. Then get lovey dovey but not this time. He has given up on me changing even though I'm trying but only getting worse. He says I'm bringing him down. I'm so heartbroken, cry when I wake and drift to sleep, knowing I may have lost the best thing in my life. So, I just say beware, you may push the love of your life away forever. Or maybe it's time to work on yourself-let them go.