[aanaph]

Hi! (sorry I don't know what category to place this in)
This has been bothering me for as long as I can remember, but I seem to absorb people's personalities? I'm bipolar with severe anxiety but neither of these things seem to relate to my constant personality "switches". Even if my mood changes, I will still have whatever personality I'm "playing" at the time.
Usually it's not people I know, it's only people I know of. I will have been following someone on a blog for a while or something like that and I'll pick up their way of speaking and opinions and interests and style.
I will do this with fictional characters a lot of the time as well, feeling as if I am them rather than simply relating to them.
I feel very confused all the time, sometimes I feel as if I do not even have a gender or sexuality anymore because it changes with whoever I'm projecting at the time and it's affecting my confidence and relationships with others.
Why do I do this? And how can I stop?!

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Hi aanaph
I see that this is your first post, so...

Glad u found us here at PC!
I'm sorry to hear that you are in such distress at but, I am very happy that you are,able to write this bc it shows great strength, humbleness, openness, and desire to change, to not only be able to pinpoint the behaviour that is bothering you but also owning it This is a very difficult step for many to take...so Congratulations! You have taken ur first step towards healthy change .....and that makes you mighty!
I am not a dr, therapist or any sort of MH professional, so I am not in any way able to speculate what exactly may be the causation or correct diagnosis that can tell you why you do this....all I can offer is general information, advice, and support from my own personal experiences, interpretation of others research, and POV. Please take it or leave it as just that
Generally speaking, to my understanding, mimicry or taking on/ mirroring aspects of those around us is something that we all do at times to a certain extent...bc mimicry is probably the earliest and most deeply ingrained way that we learn about the world and our place in it from infancy..actually in utero as well...now as we grow we start to "take some and leave the rest" and begin to form our own independent solidified identities....but when, for many possible reasons, we somehow do not develop our own individual identity...we can become "stuck" and /or confused. We do not know what we are lacking or who we are supposed to be....this developmental stall creates n identity disturbance. Identity Disturbances can present in many ways and if not addressed early on...tend to result in all sorts of "maladaptive behaviors"...we may not view them as such bc either they don't cause us distress and or they are the only way we know and we sometimes can figure out how to make them work in our favour. Many MH disorders may include soe form of Identity Disturbance...Mood Ds, PDs, DDs, and Trauma related disorders....also mimicry is common in social anxiety and other self esteem issues....so yeah, pretty much across the MH spectrum they can occur... I would talk to your psych team or show them this post next app you have...they are best suited to understand what the most likely causes your particular presentation may be. Hope that this is helpful as a starting point for you, sorry I can offer you anything more specific...but, I suggest writing or pasting this post in the New Members forum...that way more members may see it and possibly some can relate more to their own behaviors and can offer better perspective.
Hope you find much comfort, acceptance, and wise words of wisdom here,at PC! Be Well and KEEP WRITING!

[avlady]

i mimic comedians, some times i steal their material.cartoon characters too.i like daffy duck too.

Read about object relations and self-psychology. Google "sense of self".

Self Psychology Psychoanalysis

Also, bipolar is often borderline misdiagnosed or used to avoid stigma, insurance, etc.

You may have not had a solid person to organize your personality around when you were an infant/young child. Psychoanalytic therapy can help with that. Sorry you are distressed-this is good in a way, because it's the distress that leads us to seek help and change.

((((Hugs))))

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by aanaph

Hi! (sorry I don't know what category to place this in)
This has been bothering me for as long as I can remember, but I seem to absorb people's personalities? I'm bipolar with severe anxiety but neither of these things seem to relate to my constant personality "switches". Even if my mood changes, I will still have whatever personality I'm "playing" at the time.
Usually it's not people I know, it's only people I know of. I will have been following someone on a blog for a while or something like that and I'll pick up their way of speaking and opinions and interests and style.
I will do this with fictional characters a lot of the time as well, feeling as if I am them rather than simply relating to them.
I feel very confused all the time, sometimes I feel as if I do not even have a gender or sexuality anymore because it changes with whoever I'm projecting at the time and it's affecting my confidence and relationships with others.
Why do I do this? And how can I stop?!

you cant find a mental disorder about pretending to be other characters/people\role playing or in your words "I will still have whatever personality I'm "playing" at the time." because this isnt a mental disorder here in the USA. its considered a learned behavior, therapy technique, acting technique and many other terms. in other words here in america this is considered to be a normal part of life and taught as a therapy technique and with in many different careers like acting.

children learn to do this here in america the first time they play house or dress up or lets play pretend in early years, preshool, elementary. high schools also teach pretending to be each other and characters for their school plays/musicals.

most people know how to control when and how they pretend or role play based on who they are around, what is expected for a person to behave\act like in all kinds of situations. it can become a problem when someone uses this normal skill at the wrong times...example pretending to be their drunk relative in church, or pretend to be a comedian during a serious point at work.

that said this kind of learned behavior can be controlled just like when a smoker gives up smoking or a nail biting person decides biting their nails habit is too much for their life or an adult with a thumb sucking habit gives up thumb sucking.

notice when you are doing it. decide whether it is appropriate for you to do what you are doing at that moment. if its not and interfering with your life at that moment, stop yourself by saying something to your self like this isnt really how I am, its ok to be me and I can do this, then talk and behave like your self rather than the character\personality you have slipped into being.

example if I am at work and someone says something that makes me slip into comedian mode I think to myself this is not the time for this, focus on this present moment what do I need to do, to be myself and get on with my job? then I do that rather than the comedian role. over time I stopped slipping into comedian role at work. it took me about two weeks to control this. just like any other habit it takes time.

[Fuzzybear]

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

you cant find a mental disorder about pretending to be other characters/people\role playing or in your words "I will still have whatever personality I'm "playing" at the time." because this isnt a mental disorder here in the USA. its considered a learned behavior, therapy technique, acting technique and many other terms. in other words here in america this is considered to be a normal part of life and taught as a therapy technique and with in many different careers like acting.

children learn to do this here in america the first time they play house or dress up or lets play pretend in early years, preshool, elementary. high schools also teach pretending to be each other and characters for their school plays/musicals.

most people know how to control when and how they pretend or role play based on who they are around, what is expected for a person to behave\act like in all kinds of situations. it can become a problem when someone uses this normal skill at the wrong times...example pretending to be their drunk relative in church, or pretend to be a comedian during a serious point at work.

that said this kind of learned behavior can be controlled just like when a smoker gives up smoking or a nail biting person decides biting their nails habit is too much for their life or an adult with a thumb sucking habit gives up thumb sucking.

notice when you are doing it. decide whether it is appropriate for you to do what you are doing at that moment. if its not and interfering with your life at that moment, stop yourself by saying something to your self like this isnt really how I am, its ok to be me and I can do this, then talk and behave like your self rather than the character\personality you have slipped into being.

example if I am at work and someone says something that makes me slip into comedian mode I think to myself this is not the time for this, focus on this present moment what do I need to do, to be myself and get on with my job? then I do that rather than the comedian role. over time I stopped slipping into comedian role at work. it took me about two weeks to control this. just like any other habit it takes time.

I agree Amanda...malignant behaviors are learned and with practice and discipline can be stripped away and replaced by healthier habits....but what does one do if when they breakdown and shed these behaviours only to find that there is nothing left underneath? That is the hardest part... To face the blank reflection under all the masks....but on the other hand a blank surface ...like Michaelangelo said about a block of marble.. the artist does not form the sculpture. The block already holds the masterpiece inside it is,the artist's job to uncover it.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Lost_in_the_woods

I agree Amanda...malignant behaviors are learned and with practice and discipline can be stripped away and replaced by healthier habits....but what does one do if when they breakdown and shed these behaviours only to find that there is nothing left underneath? That is the hardest part... To face the blank reflection under all the masks....but on the other hand a blank surface ...like Michaelangelo said about a block of marble.. the artist does not form the sculpture. The block already holds the masterpiece inside it is,the artist's job to uncover it.

everyone is born with their own personality. a persons personality is defined as a combination of characteristics\qualities a person has, how they see the world. how they re act to the world and those in their life,

examples a new born baby may smile when they hear their parents voice, they may be a very quiet baby or a baby that coos\babbles and laughs a lot, or they may be shy, or maybe wiggly\squirmy adventurous into everything as they hit toddlerhood... a boy may like trucks and cars or flowers and dolls, a girl may like make up, dresses and high heels or sweats and climb trees and be physically active.

my point everyone has distinguishing characteristics\qualities that make them who and what they are. I bet if anyone looks at the times when they are not acting out the way someone else is, maybe a time when they are alone they will find out who you really are. a good way to do this is sit down and make a list of things that they like to do, things they dont like to do, their favorite colors, foods, whether they like to sit and be quiet, or if they like to be the center of attention, or physically active...make a list of what they like and dont like about their bodies....all these things define who and what a person is ..

example I am a mother, wife, treatment provider, I like to be physically and mentally fit for what ever happens in my life, I like telling jokes, and doing physical activities but I also have times when I like my quiet alone times to do my journaling, artwork, meditations and enjoy being out in nature. one of my favorite things to do is take my canoe out on the lake and row around enjoying the quietness, I enjoy musicals downtown on broadway, could care less about cleaning the bathroom, or cleaning up the yard after our dogs, I consider myself to be a good looking woman who looks great in jeans and dresses alike. I wear make up at work but prefer my down time when the make up comes off, I can kick off my shoes and wrestle around with my children and spend time with my wife....these are all characteristics\qualities of what kind of personality I have.

everyone is born with what ever personality they are, then as they grow this is expanded by experience of their likes, dislikes and much more. pretending to be other people doesnt get rid of who one is, it just covers up\ puts a mask over who they really are, take off the pretending\masks of copying others and you are back to who every you really are. if you dont like who you are, set some goals on who you want to be and set out accomplish those goals. if you want to be a comedian sit down and write out your own jokes and one liners about yourself and the world, if you want to be a reflective quiet person take time every day to find a quiet place you like so that you can think about your self and your environment. if you want to be like your favorite singer take some voice lessons and develop your own singing style..

.there are many ways a person can discover who they really are with out the pretending\copying of others and develop their own personality into who and what they want their own life to be like.