[inkblot]

Crying. Let me explain...

I came across a website the other day of a religious charity organization and sent them an email to ask if they would know of any area resources for me to try. I got an email back that they would make some phone calls, and asked permission to give whoever my info. So of course I sent him my contact information.

I just came online and found an email from the pastor of a local church. This is why I started crying. He first apologized for the way I was treated on Sunday at his church.

I am looking for a new church and wanted to see what it was like. I like *SERIOUSLY* had to use the bathroom when I arrived, so I asked where to find the restroom. The ushers, seeing by my backpack that I was homeless, got a look on their faces but did tell me. I found the woman's room closed with a sign saying to use a different one. (The sign, btw, gave the WRONG directions to the other restroom!) Long story short, the ushers were clear in their erred assumptions that I was there only for reasons other than to attend service. They didn't trust me for anything. I used the bathroom after someone showed me the other one (they didn't believe me when I said the first one was out of order either.) By that point, I was so upset about the way I was being treated just because I am homeless, that I left. I went outside and around to the back and sat down. The service program had the pastor's email address so I sent him a quick message from me phone.

Well, this charity contacted this pastor's church on my behalf. They sent the pastor a copy of my original email to them along with my contact information. The pastor must have said "OMG" when he read the email I sent to the charity org. There was my phone number--he obviously recognized it from the email address on my phone. And my letter to the charity was legitimate enough proof that my intentions for being at the church on Sunday were real.

In email to the charity I said that I found their website while looking online for a new church. I told of my situation and I explained my health issues.

When I complained to the pastor of this church from my phone, one of the things was that I had health issues and (since I don't trust my kidneys) I always use the bathroom before service.

More confirmation. My story in the SMS email from my cell phone was true. Oops. Bet that pastor thought for sure then he had to do something to try and make amends. I hope this acts as a reminder to them.

So that is why I'm crying. I honestly don't know whether to reply back to this pastor or not. It's kind of triggering. I have a thing about not being believed or trusted, or respected. It seems connected with my PTSD due to something that happened a long time ago when my mom denied what I told her and something happened to me. If not for what happened on Sunday, I would reply to the pastor. He didn't even try to call me or message me back an apology. Not until he learned I was telling the truth from this charity.

[biiv]

im sorry your day went so pear shaped inkblot. not that you should let your guard down but maybe this pastor deserves a second chance? maybe he will really be able to help you in some ways?
good luck to you whatever happens. take care of yourself
biiv

[inkblot]

I'm just afraid of being emotional. He says anything of it, or I see one of the ushers, or even my own mind tormenting me, I'm afraid I won't be able to control it. I'll be crying like I am now. Even if nothing is said about what happened. Just being there again could be enough. I don't know.

[biiv]

crying could be ok... isnt that what pastors are supposed to be there for?
hugs if you would like them

((((inkblot))))

I am sorry you are going through this. You do not deserve this. I am glad you posted here and shared. Please know that you are not alone. Take care of you.

purplesecrets

[Wants2Fly]

I agree that it's okay to cry, Inky. And maybe this pastor needs this experience and maybe he will be the one who makes a difference in your life if you give him a chance . . .of course, you have to put yourself first and only you know what is best for you.

inkblot, i would find another church and NOT reply to the email, he did not contact you before he got this "official" email from the religious charity and sounds doubtful he ever would.

you have already worked out that they dont "approve" of homeless persons using their facilities in this church, they were rude and arrogant towards you, and showed you little regard face to face, do you really want to be involved in a church like that?

keep looking is my advice and show the priest the same regard to his email has he did to yours.

[January]

((((((((( Inky )))))))))

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I would see if the pastor can offer any help to you. If he can't, keep trying to find a loving church to attend.

Hugs,

Jan