[black-roses]

To be honest, I am feeling really frustrated with my mother because she's has no interest in teaching me how to cook and embroidery which as a mother she should have taught me when I was growing up. I think she's lazy and neglectful to our emotional needs, I feel as if she gave a **** about teaching me how to do things I wouldn't have been dependent on her. I am angry because she enabled me to become codependent in the first place and I think if she has no interest in helping me improve then I don't need her. I will find someone else who wants me to improve. Not someone who just wants someone to feel useful and needed which I think is why she won't let me go. She needs someone to make her feel useful and worthy and she's stopping me from growing as a person. I am tried and I want her to leave me alone.

[eskielover]

Interesting because growing up I didn't want to learn how to cook or to do anything my mom did but I still grew up capable of teaching myself all the things I needed to know how to survive in life.

There are times when we stop ourselves from growing when we depend on others to teach us rather than go out & teach ourselves. I don't know about where you live, but I was able to take a knitting class in high school. There are lots of classes in the community around here where we can learn painting.....though most I have just taught myself. Get onto the internet & YouTube....there are lots of teaching videos on that. You don't need to depend on your mom to learn these days with the internet being available. Shoot, I found the video that helped me change the EGR valve on my truck & I'm NOT a car mechanic. I also found the video that helped me replace the hose on my kitchen sink faucet & I'm NOT a plumber. Found one that helped me learn how to repair my toilet that wasn't working. No need to depend on anyone for teaching these days.

[Unrigged64072835]

I learned how to cook and sew by reading books about them and just doing it. Nowadays you can find stuff on YouTube but I'm more of a book person. My mother didn't teach me any of these things growing up. I followed the instructions and just did it. I'm teaching my daughter to cook a few things but she is also learning recipes on her own. And she's 19. It can be done.

[KarenSue]

I learned everything myself, too. It's not a big deal for me. My mom worked nights at the Post office and I rarely saw her. I was asleep when she got home, she was asleep when I woke up for school, and when I came home, she was gone to her next shift. I was cooking the family meals by the time I was 11 (father, me, and 2 brothers). And washed the dishes, did all the laundry for the family, all the ironing, mowed the yard, waxed my brother's cars for goodness sake. I didn't know any better and thought this was what was expected of all the youngest (female) children in a family. I was all self taught. And in later years, most of my success in business was because I taught myself.

I think your independence should rely on your self learning, not what your mom does or does not do, imho. You can be who you want to be, you just have to work on your skills yourself until you get it right. Trial and Error. Best teacher in the world.