[ScientiaOmnisEst]

I'm on a thread roll these days.

So I found these:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...oblem-colleges

Column: What's making students 'less resilient'? | PBS NewsHour

And of course, related well (granted, I've been called much worse things than ***** and have lived with a mouse in my apartment - I bought some poison and dealt with it. However, any kind of direct confrontation makes me very, very anxious. Heart pounding, shaking, the whole bit). My mom always said it was a delayed adolescence caused by my father's death, but now I see the real reason:

I'm a terrible person, and so is the rest of my generation.

We are weak, despicable, useless excuses for human beings. We need, deserve to be hurt and to suffer. Those of us who live at home (and I'm one of them) are entitled and evil, and deserve to be on the street if we can't afford rent, or to stave to death if there's no money for food, like mature, responsible adults. We should be reminded ever minute of our worthlessness, because it's objecive fact. We need to be tortured in our adult lives, since we didn't have enough pain in childhood.

Look at the comments. I'm starting to think that's really the core problem: we're all just inherently bad people who need to adopt lifestyles of rigid executive repentence to atone for ourselves. The things we were taught as children are wrong: we are not good or worthy, nothing is okay or will ever be.

[Strive4health]

Originally Posted by ScientiaOmnisEst

I'm on a thread roll these days.

So I found these:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...oblem-colleges

Column: What's making students 'less resilient'? | PBS NewsHour

And of course, related well (granted, I've been called much worse things than ***** and have lived with a mouse in my apartment - I bought some poison and dealt with it. However, any kind of direct confrontation makes me very, very anxious. Heart pounding, shaking, the whole bit). My mom always said it was a delayed adolescence caused by my father's death, but now I see the real reason:

I'm a terrible person, and so is the rest of my generation.

We are weak, despicable, useless excuses for human beings. We need, deserve to be hurt and to suffer. Those of us who live at home (and I'm one of them) are entitled and evil, and deserve to be on the street if we can't afford rent, or to stave to death if there's no money for food, like mature, responsible adults. We should be reminded ever minute of our worthlessness, because it's objecive fact. We need to be tortured in our adult lives, since we didn't have enough pain in childhood.

Look at the comments. I'm starting to think that's really the core problem: we're all just inherently bad people who need to adopt lifestyles of rigid executive repentence to atone for ourselves. The things we were taught as children are wrong: we are not good or worthy, nothing is okay or will ever be.

Please, don't read these kinds of articles. And definitely do not read the comments. People online are vicious and forget other people reading them are humans with feelings.

I've heard many similar comments directed to my generation too (Millennial) and how we're lazy, entitled, and constantly want to be praised. How we haven't been working hard at all and expect things on a silver platter. I'm in my early 30's now, so my generation has "graduated" from being $hit on and now it's your generation.

I honestly do not care what a lot of people say who try to play the generational difference card. Every single generation had an older generation that said the same things about them.

I guess I've been a demon since age 3 or 4

[Onward2wards]

I get the impression that every generation since at least the Roman Empire has whined "You know what's wrong with the youth of today?". (Do some historical research - it really does go back that far).

I'm nearly 50 now, and this **** really grinds my gears too! You know what's wrong with the youth of today? They get to listen to some folks who sound like they didn't mature so much as they just got old, can't remember what it's like to be young, and apparently think Ebeneezer Scrooge is an awesome role model.

And now for some classic comedy on the subject, called the "Four Yorkshiremen Sketch". It's been performed over the years by Rowan Atkinson, Alan Rickman, Monty Python, and the earliest recording I found was from At Last the 1948 Show:

[Fuzzybear]

[TiredPilgrim]

Originally Posted by Strive4health

Please, don't read these kinds of articles. And definitely do not read the comments. People online are vicious and forget other people reading them are humans with feelings.

I've heard many similar comments directed to my generation too (Millennial) and how we're lazy, entitled, and constantly want to be praised. How we haven't been working hard at all and expect things on a silver platter. I'm in my early 30's now, so my generation has "graduated" from being $hit on and now it's your generation.

I honestly do not care what a lot of people say who try to play the generational difference card. Every single generation had an older generation that said the same things about them.

Well said.

Hmm, all I can think to say to this is these articles are 'opinion' not fact.

Every generation has it's challenges, and within that generation are many different individuals with their own experiences - how ridiculous to generalise.

All I can recommend is not reading such articles - there are many more enriching intelligent and researched articles out there, better to spend your time on those rather than poorly researched click bait.

[Molinit]

I come at articles like that from the perspective of someone who is forced to take care of another who never grew up, so many of the comments resonate with me.

There are 2 sides to this issue. I happened to land on the more unfortunate side, the side of the sibling who "inherited" a person who is in his 40s but has never left home or worked more than part time.

What suggestions do you have for me?

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

I don't know what to say or do here. I know I tend to panic and get super reactive when encountering certain things...

Originally Posted by Molinit

I come at articles like that from the perspective of someone who is forced to take care of another who never grew up, so many of the comments resonate with me.

There are 2 sides to this issue. I happened to land on the more unfortunate side, the side of the sibling who "inherited" a person who is in his 40s but has never left home or worked more than part time.

What suggestions do you have for me?

Kick them out?

[Molinit]

Kick them out...but you said in your first post that those who live at home are entitled and evil, sarcastically of course. And that the prevailing thought from the comments was that people like this deserve to live in the street. So are you agreeing with the comments? Because my sibling is you in 20 years if nothing changes. Where do you see yourself in your 40s?

[Hopeofreedom]

Everyone already said my answers. 😁.
I'm in my late twenties and I would be lying if I said I didnt feel like my peers where , so spoiled, and worse they're still living at home and having Children with no job. 😕

To be fair that had happened on previous generations too, by not at an epidemic like the current one . I also think it's because we've been coddled and pampered
Not to mention with the current economy's around the world there's no guarantee that we will achieve the same success as our parents. Our parents already have everything so why leave?

For the record I don't live with my parents lol, but did during college😜

[Fearfool]

Bad for society for sure, but I don't care much for society that sees me as nothing but beast of burden to be used and abused yet expect me to keep on smiling, working, taking lousy rewards.

However I made a goal to build myself financially and afford my own little world and hobbies to occupy my time til death. Maybe to toughen up is not without merits?

I'm 26, been on rebellious decline for years living with hate, fear, anxiety and dissatisfaction in my mind to society and people and how they treat me. All those years accomplished nothing, society never cared and not waiting for me to rot away. "So why hide? Everybody wants me to die anyway and piss on my grave." - this statement maybe controversial and foolish to some but I find inspiration in it, because its mostly true with my life. Maybe I'm too old to start fresh but I have nothing else to do that is productive for me.

For the people that I used to be, maybe "sticks and stones" need a revival? Because it can sure allow them to buy source of happiness with own effort.

[Strive4health]

Honestly, with the current state of the economy and living expenses, if you are a young person with a life plan-- working, school, paying own bills, responsibilities, respecting your parents' rules, etc.-- I don't see why living at home with them until you are steady is a bad thing.

I know people who live on the east coast and I can say living there is a guarantee that young people cannot launch until age 30. Who has money to pay for a 1200K/month rent crappy apartment? Don't even get me started on what liability only car insurance is like. If you're able to get married before the age of 30 these days, live independently, and lead a relatively stable life, I say kudos to you and all of the naysayers can go f^ck themselves.

[Unrigged64072835]

Gone are the days where you can get a decent job with a high school diploma. Now you need at least some college to get those jobs you used to do with a high school diploma. And college is too expensive.

My daughter is 19, works a part-time job and goes to school part-time. She lives at home. I would rather have a roof over her head and a place to study than to kick her out into the street and tell her she's on her own. Yeah, it's going to take her awhile to get her degree but at least she won't have student loan debt to pay off. She has depression and anxiety but she knows coping skills and uses them. Am I coddling her, maybe, but it's better than having her trafficked for sex like some girls her age.

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Originally Posted by Strive4health

Honestly, with the current state of the economy and living expenses, if you are a young person with a life plan-- working, school, paying own bills, responsibilities, respecting your parents' rules, etc.-- I don't see why living at home with them until you are steady is a bad thing.

I know people who live on the east coast and I can say living there is a guarantee that young people cannot launch until age 30. Who has money to pay for a 1200K/month rent crappy apartment? Don't even get me started on what liability only car insurance is like. If you're able to get married before the age of 30 these days, live independently, and lead a relatively stable life, I say kudos to you and all of the naysayers can go f^ck themselves.

I live on the east coast, and I'm just absurdly lucky I live in the cheapest city in the country. I often see rents around $500-1000 advertised around here, and my mom doesn't believe that $1200-2000 studio apartments exist outside of NYC. I'd love to leave the area but don't see how that's possible.

My mom wants me to go back to college; I feel too guilty about my 529 and doubt I'd graduate anyway.

Comments like those on the articles I posted love to perpetuate the fallacy of "workhardism". Just work hard and you'll be successful. Life is about working hard. You can't afford your rent and debt because you aren't willing to work hard. Bull. Hard work only matters if you're lucky. Otherwise, it's just running in place for no good reason other than to be considered moral by the past generation.

If my generation would just be as "hardworking" as the previous, they say, we'd have no problem leaving home totally financially independent at 18 and never coming back. I know I wasn't raised to leave home at 18 - my mom doesn't believe a child should learn life skills like financial management and housekeeping until they're out of college. She ikewise believes that it's the parent's duty to at least contribute to college tuition, contrast so many parents who say "You're 18, you're an adult, you take 100% care of yourself. You want college, you pay for it yourself."

I have no idea who's right.

Originally Posted by Fharraige

Gone are the days where you can get a decent job with a high school diploma. Now you need at least some college to get those jobs you used to do with a high school diploma. And college is too expensive.

My daughter is 19, works a part-time job and goes to school part-time. She lives at home. I would rather have a roof over her head and a place to study than to kick her out into the street and tell her she's on her own. Yeah, it's going to take her awhile to get her degree but at least she won't have student loan debt to pay off. She has depression and anxiety but she knows coping skills and uses them. Am I coddling her, maybe, but it's better than having her trafficked for sex like some girls her age.

You sound like my mom. I tried to live on my own for a year and she says not a day went by that she didn't worry, and she's so proud that I came home with no addictions, tatoos, piercings, diseases, and was even still a virgin.

[Molinit]

Originally Posted by Strive4health

Honestly, with the current state of the economy and living expenses, if you are a young person with a life plan-- working, school, paying own bills, responsibilities, respecting your parents' rules, etc.-- I don't see why living at home with them until you are steady is a bad thing.

I know people who live on the east coast and I can say living there is a guarantee that young people cannot launch until age 30. Who has money to pay for a 1200K/month rent crappy apartment? Don't even get me started on what liability only car insurance is like. If you're able to get married before the age of 30 these days, live independently, and lead a relatively stable life, I say kudos to you and all of the naysayers can go f^ck themselves.

Okay, so what happens if they're in their 40s and never "launched"???

And their mother, who allowed them to stay home and work only intermittently, dies?

What happens then? There is no disability for someone who fails to launch.

The OP says "kick them out?" but doesn't agree that someone like this should be kicked out (objects to the comments to the article).

So what's to be done? How would you advise the sibling who is 10 years older and "launched" at age 18? Is this sibling expected to provide shelter, food, medical care and all other life needs until the sibling dies?

[Unrigged64072835]

My brother was in his late 40s when both my parents died. He basically told me he was mooching off of them for as long as possible. He worked intermittently as a computer programmer until he got caught doing something wrong, and couldn't work for seven years. He tried to move in with me and my family, and I said no. There weren't jobs for him here and he would've been a bum living off his share of the inheritance. So he got an apartment where he was at and went back to college to learn how to create computer games. More power to him. He's not my problem.