The Leaving Issue

This was the original post. I was not demanding information. . .I only wanted to better understand the situation at hand. As far as being incorrect in my analysis. . .what analysis would that be specifically? You said, If it is a request (key word here) to have someone explain why they want to leave, I feel you are incorrect in your analysis? The analysis of a request? Actually, I might have come to an analytical persepctive at some point in the future, however the analysis of my request (?) would have come from those reading and analyzing it, don't you think?

I defended my point to Justice, which you appear to have missed, caught up as you were in your analysis.

Sorry about that.

OP
Ok, I know there's already a thread similar, but this is a bit different. Maybe I'm just dense or something. I understand why some people are bothered when people say they're leaving and then don't. THAT I get.

What I don't get is why people will post that they are going to leave, and then hang around to see whether or not people will beg them to stay. Is it part of a mental illness? What am I missing in this picture here?

no offense to anyone but No one was pointed out.. no one said Such and Such why did u say that you were leaving and then stayed...... i dont understand how ppl r taking so much offense to this post.... gracey just asked a question.. doesnt she have that right? IMO in the process of trying to heal instead of running away from whats bothering u... u should try to comfront and fix the problem.... in the long run ud prob feel much better after doing so then running away or leaving....

I think its a split emotional decision for most. They make the post and then realize they don't want to leave. By then its too late to delete it. Maybe they post and then realize they don't really want to leave but still need reassurance that their wanted here, so they read the replies, and then they're ok with staying. I don't think its part of the mental illness. I think its a human issue. Get hurt and flight or fight kicks in, try to run away, but then the reaffirmation comes and it feels good to be loved and wanted.

It may hurt those of us who trigger easy, or who are friends with the one who's hurting. I don't think its an issue that needs total understanding. It happens, we work passed it. And it seems like the ones who were hurting and made a split decision see how important they are in the eyes of their friends here.

While sometimes the leaving posts bother me, I try to stay understanding with everyone here. We're all here because we've got some kind of psych issue. We're not at a fan site for a tv show or a series of books, or for singles or for fun. We all found PC because we were hurting and did a search and found this place and try to get and give support. Bottom line. Everyone here hurts at some time or other. How that hurt gets expressed is different for everyone. Some keep it to PM with a few trusted friends, others reach out in public in some way shape or form.

Bottom line though is that we're here to get and GIVE support, no matter what. If something triggers me so that I cannot give support, I avoid it. The ignore feature is my friend and I use it for self protection, as well as to protect others from me.......

I only see hurt in this thread. While its valid to question and try to understand, there are people getting hurt here and that is not the aim of this site. The other thread was locked for a reason.

<font color="#000088">What I don't get is why people will post that they are going to leave, and then hang around to see whether or not people will beg them to stay. Is it part of a mental illness? What am I missing in this picture here?
(Gracey quoted above)
ANSWER:
Those are possibly the one's that are just trying to get attention, or wait around to see if there are people here that really do care about them, and want them to stay! That was explained in the other post, moved over in a big blue box from the other thread that is currently closed. Which explained it quite well!

My post, wasn't mean't as trying to attack you personally, and I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I felt bad for the member that had her feelings hurt by being pegged as one that was just trying to get attention by saying she was leaving, just because she was convinced by a friend to come back! Some people do leave, just as an impulse, because they are upset about something, and it takes a good friend to talk to them, and talk them into coming back. It doesn't always mean they just left for attention, that's only in some cases,not all cases!
I hope at least some of this clears up your question. I really didn't mean to hurt your feelings though, I just really felt bad for that member who was taking it personally! So, I apoligize if I offended you by my response! </font>

My feelings weren't hurt/aren't hurt. I was merely clarifying my question and later my intent.

It really DOES actually come down to attempting to understand.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Gracey said:
What I don't get is why people will post that they are going to leave, and then hang around to see whether or not people will beg them to stay.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

<font color="red"> Basic Human NEED </font> - Every one Needs to <font color="red"> FEEL </font> Wanted &amp; Loved by Someone......

<font color="#000088">So do you understand the answer to your question yet?
I think Rhapsody cleared it up pretty good, if you hadn't gotten it yet! Thanks Rhapsody!
I hope you understand things better now! And can just be able to except people for the way they are! And if people are posting that they are leaving, if it really bothers you that much, than just don't read it. But that's just my opinion about it. It didn't bother me at all, because I understood why some people do these things.
Well, I hope you feel better, and understand this subject a little better now! </font>

Jean, I totally agree with you!

I personally don't get triggered by that kind of post, maybe because I see other things being expressed by them. I've also seen where it becomes a game with people. This homey don't play games! Besides that, sometimes I need to be hit over the head with a 2X4 to catch on. LOL

There's a line in a song that I took to heart many years ago. It's from a song called "I'm Free". It goes "Things are only as important as I want them to be." Helps a whole lot in many instances!

It has been tricky for me to decide to post on this thread but I guess all I want to say is that I once posted I was leaving (or thinking about it), it was a long time ago when I posted here under a slightly different name. I was immature to the workings of this forum, and for that matter any forum. If I am truly honest with myself I would have to say that I probably was seeking attention. I have grown up a bit now and try to look for the attention I need in more positive ways.

I have become so comfortable and at home here that I often "leave" for days or so at a time and feel right at home when I return.

{{{{{{{{{{{Sabrina}}}}}}}}}}}}

<font color="#000088">I admire your honesty! And you are at home here!((((((((((Sabrina))))))))))
You are so sweet, and sometimes some of us just need a break! I think you're great!
J</font>

Thanks Sabrina. Your response was really what I was looking for. When people share what they think about their own choices and actions it seems to encourage not just self learning but also seems to edify the community as well. We can all share our thoughts on why we think people do what they do, but until folks step up and share it for themselves, it is really hard sometimes to sift through all fo the "theories" and "opinions" of those who either haven't been there or just don't know. That's why I was asking the question I asked.

I think that anytime any of us a need a break, it's definately good to take one. Saying so indicates a level of maturity and makes it easy for those who care to know that you're actually ok, and not "off the grid."

You're awesome Sabrina. . .thanks so much.