[fijiisland]

When you live with your parents and you try to discipline your kids. Your kids start screaming because they don't like that you took something away from them for misbehaving. So your parents come running into the room to yell at you, tell you that you are thrown out of their house and then they shut the wifi off so no one can use the internet.

So the other day I couldn't do my homework (I am in school, but class is online) so it was late. My child also could not do their homework since it was online also.

So now every time someone raises their voice the wifi gets shut off. I am now trying to work online before they turn if off. I am letting my kids do whatever they want so they don't scream even though I dont' approve of what they are doing. My child is also at the point of screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me.

My father also punched me in face once because my kids started screaming. He tells me it is my fault they scream, I must have caused it because that is how i raised them, he says!! Then I was sent to my room!!!!
And I am 45!!!

Why are you living in an abusive environment with your children? You really need to remove them from being exposed to family violence.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by fijiisland

When you live with your parents and you try to discipline your kids. Your kids start screaming because they don't like that you took something away from them for misbehaving. So your parents come running into the room to yell at you, tell you that you are thrown out of their house and then they shut the wifi off so no one can use the internet.

So the other day I couldn't do my homework (I am in school, but class is online) so it was late. My child also could not do their homework since it was online also.

So now every time someone raises their voice the wifi gets shut off. I am now trying to work online before they turn if off. I am letting my kids do whatever they want so they don't scream even though I dont' approve of what they are doing. My child is also at the point of screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me.

My father also punched me in face once because my kids started screaming. He tells me it is my fault they scream, I must have caused it because that is how i raised them, he says!! Then I was sent to my room!!!!
And I am 45!!!

Im sorry I cant tell you whether this is abuse or not. you see here in america each usa state has their own definitions of what is and isnt abuse. plus I only get to see what you have posted. I didnt witness these situations first hand.. in a court of law if I make a determination based on not personally witnessing a situation its called hearsay and insufficient evidence.

what I can tell you is that here in my location ones parents\ grandparents turning off the WiFi because someone isnt following their house rules is not called abuse. here in america we have many free options where a person can access the internet at no charge. for example a child who must do homework online, schools here in america must supply an in school option because there are many poverty level and homeless students who can not afford their own computers, cell phones, tablets, Ipads. for schools not to supply this in school homework \ study hall and computer options here in america is called discrimination. my suggestion for your child would be to have your child do their work during their schools computer access time or maybe take your child to a friends house so they can do their homework together, or to a local library. for you an option would also be to do your school work at your school or college during your time on campus. many colleges now have the option of letting students children on campus, you can take your child with you and while you are doing your homework your child can also be doing their homework.

as for the punch in the face well some locations call it two adults settling a fight others call it abuse depending upon other things. if you feel you were punched for no reason or you feel this was abuse you can call the police. they will come and investigate whether it was abuse or not. if so your parent will be arrested. most USA towns and cities now have automatic arrest on domestic violence / assault\ abuse. they will also help you to leave the home and go to your nearest domestic violence agency who can help you and your child to enter a domestic violence shelter where they can help you with mental health services and getting you and your child set up with a new place of your own (teach you how to get a job, and find a place and much more) they will also tell you whether according to the laws in your location whether you and your child are being abused.

[amandalouise]

I just went back and read some of your past posts. you said your father is 70 yrs old. all your other posts also reflect the same problem over and over again. somehow this 70 year old has punched you. Im wondering why you live with your father. is this a situation where your father is not able to take care of himself due to health issues.. and you are his legal guardian because he can not live alone.... if so heres another suggestion... maybe you can talk with his doctors, explain to them that he has become violent. they will do a mental and physical health assessment to see if he can take care of himself, knows what he is doing when he is violent and if not have him committed to a nursing home or mental facility. that way you will not be responsible nor close enough for this 70 year old man to punch you. you can also have his treatment providers recommend an agency that can do in home care. this is when a nurse or aid comes into the home to take care of those that are unable to care for their self.

another thought. he is 70 years old. that means theres a high likely hood that he has taken part in some wars or armed services. noise for veterans is very triggering, reminds them of when they were in the armed services. even chilrens high pitched voices can trigger a 70 year old man or veteran to have startle reflex or PTSD.

it might be a good thing to teach your children to use their inside voices when in the house and if they want to yell and holler go outside. your doctors can also give you and your children ways to handle being your parenting issues while living around a 70 year old elderly person sensitive to noise.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by lolagrace

Why are you living in an abusive environment with your children? You really need to remove them from being exposed to family violence.

Unless you hit your father first and he was defending himself, being punched in the face is abuse and a crime. If you have mental health issues, it's abuse of a vulnerable person and is taken even more seriously.

[Unrigged64072835]

It's definitely abuse when someone hits you.

[fijiisland]

Wow, some of these are funny replies.
No, I am not his caretaker. He is perfectly fine. Was not in a war. Thats just what he does. He is a perfectionist and he is ALWAYS RIGHT AND PERFECT! The whole world is messed up but him. If I disagree with him on anything I am told there is something wrong with me and need to be committed.

Turning off wifi is not abuse. It is just saying, "oh you yelled, see how you like me turning off wifi then. haha." its a control tactic. He even coughs when I am in the room just to make me get out. (he coughs every 2 minutes) not a real cough though, just him being a jerk. It is like when you are in school and a child keeps sniffing and you can't stand it? same thing.

He is very controlling and regimented, rigid, you have to be like me or there is somethign wrong with you.

I get the strong sense that your dad is dealing with a mental health issue. I get the strong sense that you are as well. I cannot put my finger on it, and it may be a result of the abuse you've been subjected to, but you definately need help sooner rather than later. You are living in an unhealthy environment ...... I don't know exactly what's going on but I do know you need professional help and so do your parents and children. Why don't you call an abuse hotline and get some advise?

[fijiisland]

I suffer from extreme anxiety since I was a child. I am afraid to do things. I took personality tests recently and I has severe depression, moderate anxiety, slightly ocd, slightly narcisstic, zero self esteem, may be a little borderline personality. I have no respect for myself or anyone else.

I can tell you what my father suffers from- ocd, some anxiety (but he doesn't know he has it and would never admit to it anyway- he of course is normal, nothing wrong with him)
my mother has to be depressed, slightly schizo (I think anyway). very stupid, idiotic, can't do anything without being told, real goofy, nutcase.

And there you have it. Why I am what I am. The more I am around them the worse I get. I at least wanted friends when I moved in with them and went out places. Now I don't go anywhere and feel hated and alone.

[MickeyCheeky]

Yeah.. It's definitely abusive, if you ask me :/
I guess getting away from them isn't that easy of an option for you, right?

[Pikku Myy]

It is not easy, but you need to break away and try to heal. Plan and get support. Hugs

It sounds like you need some professional help to get this sorted out. I imagine if it was as simple as moving out, you would do that. Do you have any plans put in place to get out of this situation? If you feel stuck, I understand and it's possible you need some outside help to come up with a plan to get your child and yourself out of this. You could call a local woman's shelter and see if they can provide advise.