[GetOffMeds111]

I want to put the word out about the dangers of hospitalization and taking psychiatric medications.

I am a white middle-eastern 30 year old Southern Californian male and have mild bipolar disorder but nevertheless was held on a 5150 and 5250 three years ago simply for being a medical marijuana patient and sending a few worrisome digital messages to my dad and a few people. I was not violent or confrontational, just frustrated and paranoid. At the time I was freelancing and typically earning a thousand dollars a month or so, living with a friend. I had overstayed my welcome though and asked my family for some support, like a place to live or extra money. Instead of supporting me, they got me a room in one of those luxury sober living houses, where I felt out of place being around former heroin addicts, and then my family gave me 2 options, to go to the street and live in my car or get evaluated by a hospital. I went to UCLA hospital thinking they would just tell me nothing is wrong with me, I'm just a bit stressed out, and explained to the nurse who evaluated me that I was simply having some financial difficulties and did not mean any harm by the messages I sent, not looking to hurt myself or anyone else, and nevertheless I was involuntarily admitted.

I had no idea what the implications were about going to that hospital. If I knew that it would take away my gun privileges or that they are even allowed to involuntarily hold someone, I would not have set foot in that hospital, I would have gone to live in my car, taken showers at my gym, laundry at the laundromat, until I found a job. I'm sure I would have eventually been fine. But what was done was done, irreversible. Life goes on.



My dad then allowed me to live in his condo's extra bedroom, but I was still financially stressed out and turning to marijuana to ease the stress, I started believing that the CIA and FBI were out to get me and that I am supposed to be a CIA agent but being discriminated against, so I went to a police station and asked them to take me to a hospital, and there I was placed on Zyprexa. Upon leaving and getting back to my dad's condo, I became suicidal (side effect from Zyprexa), called 911 and they 5150'd me again, and put me back on Abilify. After a couple months I stopped taking it again because of the side effects.

This was September 2014 now, I decided to register for classes at the closest junior college where I got full financial aid and straight As, taking up to 23 units in one semester. In Nov. 2014 I started getting $2100 per month in SSDI which completely eased my financial worries since I was now able to afford food, clothing and transportation while living under my dad's roof. But I got into an argument with my family after the school year was over, and in August 2015 I left to Mexico with my SSDI. My family became worried and my psychiatrist made my mother my SSDI rep. payee later that month, cutting off my direct deposit and forcing me to fly home. I got home around 11pm one night, my dad had changed the lock on his front door, so I went to my car in the building garage to sleep. My family called the police, told them they want another evaluation, the Department of Health came over in the middle of the night, woke me up inconsiderately by coming up to my car and tapping on the window where I was sleeping peacefully, and 5150'd me again. I was given Latuda, and it made me feel suicidal as well so I stopped taking it within a few weeks. Then I thought up a new delusion that my dad was sleeping with an ex-girlfriend of mine, and I asked him about it, a few hours later Department of Health 5150'd me again. During that last hospitalization I was placed on Invega.

Before taking Invega I was at the peak of my physical fitness, 6 feet tall and 185 pounds and going to Crossfit. Invega made me gain 30 pounds in less than a year and made me so lethargic that I could not go to the gym. I have a beer belly now, big love handles, a double chin, and can't fit into any of my old clothing (I have had to buy a new wardrobe). I got suicidal again because of this weight gain and five months ago I told my family and my doctors, I'm stopping the medication. I am worried that I will not be able to get my old looks back regardless of how much I diet and work out. I feel extremely unconfident, afraid to show myself in public. When I look in the mirror I see a slob. I fear that looking the way I do, if I don't lose the weight I will never be able to get a job until I'm 50 and looking overweight is normal.

Invega cleared up my delusions, however it made me so physically unhealthy that I became depressed as a result. It is not a good medication. NONE of these medications should have ever been approved by the FDA. It's better to have a minor mental illness, maybe some paranoid thoughts and delusions, than to have your metabolism, blood sugar, and hormones messed with and be overweight or obese after being fit your whole life, which can KILL you. And, I think that hospitals should not be able to 5150 someone simply because someone's family said so, because of some weird electronic communication and legal drug use.

Side effects should pass when stopping a psych med.
While there can be withdrawal side effects, with the right tapering they can be minimized and even non-existent.
When it comes to medications, I can understand your issues with it.
If I were you I would go see a psychiatrist on some basis, and tell them about the problems. It's allot better than being treated through hospitalization since it's done through an emergency procedure without thorough evaluations.
Psychiatric medications are complicated, because they work subjectively for each individual. It can take some attempts to find a good medication.
There are people who even take a combination of medications to deal with side effects. It's complicated, but it will work in time.
That is, if you want to take psychiatric medications.

As for your family, I don't know your family history and why you need to live with your family instead with your friend, but your family should treat you with more understanding and empathy, instead of pushing the "5150"/"5250" button all the time.
Hospitalization is a procedure that can easily be misused, and overused. Your family should know better.

[NUKEDANGEL]

i was in a ward with addicts to heroin , they still smoked it in the cig yard . i dont think the nurses new it could be smoked . They smuggled me vodka on there day release .

[Fuzzybear]

[*Laurie*]

I have seen people become extremely paranoid from smoking mj. I mean, to the point at which they could not function normally.

[pppp3]

Originally Posted by GetOffMeds111

I want to put the word out about the dangers of hospitalization and taking psychiatric medications.
-----Condensed for space---------
NONE of these medications should have ever been approved by the FDA. It's better to have a minor mental illness, maybe some paranoid thoughts and delusions, than to have your metabolism, blood sugar, and hormones messed with and be overweight or obese after being fit your whole life, which can KILL you. And, I think that hospitals should not be able to 5150 someone simply because someone's family said so, because of some weird electronic communication and legal drug use.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. From what I've heard (many times over the years) these type of horrific things go on very often.

I'm so sorry you had to experience all these injustices.

But what options do we have, when there's nobody that will appropriately advocate for us, and treatments/medicines often, do more harm than good?

I really need to know, because my symptoms have worsened to the point that I'm barely functioning at all...(No delusions but severe depression and panic/anxiety)--
Thought I could pull myself out of this - but know now I likely can't...
I don't have access to drugs (legal or illegal) and can't tolerate liquor (which I've tried several times to both calm down, stop shaking and numb my brain from obsessing about wanting to be dead) -

No insurance so ER only option,
but my fears are exactly what you described.
So I stay stuck in this condition that's now interfering with almost everything...
How can this happen, that so often the treatment and medicines cause more harm than good???
I hear and read these type of stories constantly. U surely r not alone.
It's so sad.
I don't get it And it makes me so mad! That people who really need help, are hurt instead.
I hope somehow you'll keep trying to get what you need, (competent + caring professionals in a supportive environment)
to be able to heal and live a peaceful, positive, productive life again.

Thank you so much for the warning.

I'll be sure to stop all my meds immediately.

:-/

[eskielover]

I was in UCLA psych hospital right after the Northridge earthquake & before they rebuilt the hospital because of the earthquake damage....the original OLD hospital. I was treated well though the know it all students were a joke trying to figure out what was really going on with me....they never figured it out. It was my first psych hospital experience ( many after) but was so freaked out by it they actually let me sleep in the common room. Unusual but very thoughtful & it helped me feel safer.

All my experiences with 5150's in Calif they NEVER put one on me unless there was a real reason....& they won't because of the legal ramifications.

If I didn't have actual suicide plans or had attempted suicide before arriving at the hospital they NEVER put me on a hold though they would admit me.

As for the gun laws, my understanding is that it is only for 5 years that it stays on your record.....though I'm not going through normal lines except when I go for my concealed carry. Its been about 15 years since I was on a hold though a pdoc threaded that if I left the medical hospital with the anorexia at the point it was to go to my moms funeral he was going to put a hold on me but my MD looked the other way & let me go AMA with the promise to come back for IV nutrition after the funeral. I now live in a different state 2100 miles away...one that is gun savvy with all their hunting unlike Calif.

I agree with the bad effect of meds that many people have. I have such horrible side effects no way would I ever take meds.. I hope you get things straightened out....I have seen people have paranoid reactions to MJ, so if you are already bipolar....it can just aggravate what is already there. You may not see how you are acting but others around you sure can.

[mugwort2]

I feel sorry you went through such a horrible hospital experience. I was never inpatient. Not better than you just more fortunate. Very mixed feeiings dealing with meds. This is a general statement. Meds can help ease the symptoms. Some symptoms of MI are rather distressing, especially anxiety, depression. Plus some, not every person with MI not on their meds can dangerous. Its a very mixed bag. Conversely there are major adverse reactions that can lead to diabetes, heart problems, weight gain. And weight gain can lead to diabetes, hardening of the arteries, even some cancers. People with MI tend to live at least 20 years shorter than people without MI. I suspect the side effects is a factor. I'm thinking too the stress of MI and poor living conditions are factors too. https://www.buzzfeed.com/rosalindada...pGY#.gnAmY49Jv

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm really sorry for what happened.. it sounds horrible

5150 and 5250 must be the statute in California. In Florida, our involuntary commitment law is known as the Baker Act. They can only hold you for 72 hours involuntarily but a qualified person could (based on their professional judgement/criteria) say that you meet the requirements for involuntary inpatient or outpatient services. So whether it was a 5150 or the Baker Act--I do think that sometimes these places do more harm that good and the committed person can end up being misdiagnosed or even having their rights taken away. When I was committed, I spent the entire stay trying to act as normal as possible (even though I was suffering) in order to ensure I was deemed competent enough to be in charge of my one life (voluntary stayed to more days thinking that acting "cooperative" would help). So I know how stressful it is and I am sorry this happened to you.

As far as the way you look goes, you can get all that back--it will just take time. Eat healthy, exercise, no alcohol or pot--depending on how overweight you are---in 6 months, 1 year, maybe 2 years, you can recover from this all. I have seen people who have been mostly unhealthy for most of their lives change their ways as late as their fifties, make serious progress, losing as much as 50 pounds which also has wonderful implications for their stamina and overall health. You CAN do this. You just have to be committed to eating healthy (no sugar), exercising every single day, and totally giving up alcohol and pot. I once drank frequently (only used pot a few times but it did make me lazy, hungry, more hypersexual, etc.) and I really am glad that I have mostly given these things up. I think that to much alcohol and pot can aggravate many mental health conditions making some people more unstable/less able to self regulate our reations to stress. As far as your meds go, I think sometimes they can be helpful but medications that make you gain significant weight have always been a "nonstarter" for me. I would rather suffer significant mental anguish than take a drug that puts pounds on me, month after month. So I agree that's an unacceptable side affect. Personally, I am taking a couple of psych drugs (they have been making me more stable) and have managed to lose 15 pounds while mostly taking them. Anyways, I am so sorry that the "support" provided to you by both mental health professionals and your family was mostly negative. Unfortunately, I think most patients have to figure these things out through trial and error and by looking back at past experiences in their lives. I mean, when you (and I) are not happy with our lives as we know them, we cannot expect things to improve unless we figure out the things we did wrong in the past and make the commitment to do things differently from now on. And I know it is not always easy to change things but I wish you luck and hope this post will encourage you in some way.