[DechanDawa]

I am coming out of a long severe depression and my tolerance for stress seems to be almost zero.

Today I tried to go to work but I have a problem with my ear and they let me go home. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and need to get a note.

When I came home I immediately dove into my bed under the covers.

I realize that I have grown used to being severely depressed.

It has been a long time I took a job while so anxious and depressed.

A part of me doesn't care about anything. I don't care about the job or whether or not I am a success or a failure. I can only surmise this is because of being severely depressed.

It sounds like you might need some coping skills to deal with your depression. There are lots of tools out there. Meditation, journaling, exercise, talking to a close friend, posting here medication, therapy, just off the top of my head. It sounds to me like you are conflicted about this job. I have felt that way before too when I'm overwhelmed with a job, but also see the benefits. In my case, I'm not working right now. I'm taking care of myself first and on disability for now. I do think, that recovery from depression is like a dance. 2 steps forward, 1 step back. What is your situation? Do you have to work? Are you in debt? Can you take it 1 day at a time? Or can you look for an easier job?

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by starrysky

It sounds like you might need some coping skills to deal with your depression. There are lots of tools out there. Meditation, journaling, exercise, talking to a close friend, posting here medication, therapy, just off the top of my head. It sounds to me like you are conflicted about this job. I have felt that way before too when I'm overwhelmed with a job, but also see the benefits. In my case, I'm not working right now. I'm taking care of myself first and on disability for now. I do think, that recovery from depression is like a dance. 2 steps forward, 1 step back. What is your situation? Do you have to work? Are you in debt? Can you take it 1 day at a time? Or can you look for an easier job?

Thanks. I need to work. I am severely compromised financially. I am all alone. I have been trying to get help from friends and family for two years. Unfortunately, no one is that interested even when I have told them I have gotten worse. I called a hotline on Christmas. I have to figure out if I can do counseling but I am having money problems.

I went to the company for one job posting. They thought this job was a better fit. I think maybe this is why I am conflicted. I needed a job and pretty much said yes to this job on the spot even though it wasn't something I applied for. My plan was to do this job while looking for another.

You are right, absolutely. My inability to cope while I improve my situation is the problem.