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  #1  
Old Jan 07, 2017, 01:58 PM
Anonymous37954
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I feel like I don't know who I am any more. I have to deal with a lack of feedback now, but even when I was surrounded by people, I didn't know if I was good or bad, nice or horrible.

Maybe I'm just a nasty person who others dislike?

I have been told I'm nice, but maybe they are the ones being nice in saying that...maybe they're just generous people?

Maybe, if I looked at myself from the outside, I would hate who I saw.
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  #2  
Old Jan 07, 2017, 02:45 PM
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Frankbtl Frankbtl is offline
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Hi sophiesmom

Well in my eyes you're 1001% not a nasty person!!
I'd say that you're right sometimes words like good, bad, nice.......can be down to people's perceptions though so maybe look a little deeper into a lot more of your qualities to form a truer picture..........
Now the way I see it from your posts you'd have every right to say things about yourself like "I've been honest about/to myself", "I've been straight up", "I've said it as it was", "I've been true to myself", "I've tried to be supportive", "I've tried to reach out to others", "I've wanted the best for........", "I've said.........from a caring place", "I've done/said the best I can", "I've stood by my morals/principles", "I've not given in to others........"...........
And you know what...........there will be plenty of circumstances where being able to say those things are so much better/so much more important than/so much more valuable than "being nice" in some people's eyes...........
So maybe try to take pride in some of those qualities including times when you're "nice"...........perhaps some people might mis-percieve those things sometimes, but that doesn't necessarily have to over matter, they should see other good qualities in you anyway............and other people who really matter are going to like you for you regardless................

But basically, to finish, sophiesmom..................I say:

!!!!!!

Alison
Thanks for this!
Bill3, Takeshi
  #3  
Old Jan 07, 2017, 03:37 PM
Amalia Gabriela Amalia Gabriela is offline
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Location: Bucharest
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I fell you.
  #4  
Old Jan 07, 2017, 04:04 PM
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MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is offline
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I can't tell you who you are... but I can tell you that you're NOT a bad person and that you deserve to be loved
  #5  
Old Jan 07, 2017, 04:23 PM
Anonymous37954
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frankbtl View Post
Hi sophiesmom

Well in my eyes you're 1001% not a nasty person!!
I'd say that you're right sometimes words like good, bad, nice.......can be down to people's perceptions though so maybe look a little deeper into a lot more of your qualities to form a truer picture..........
Now the way I see it from your posts you'd have every right to say things about yourself like "I've been honest about/to myself", "I've been straight up", "I've said it as it was", "I've been true to myself", "I've tried to be supportive", "I've tried to reach out to others", "I've wanted the best for........", "I've said.........from a caring place", "I've done/said the best I can", "I've stood by my morals/principles", "I've not given in to others........"...........
And you know what...........there will be plenty of circumstances where being able to say those things are so much better/so much more important than/so much more valuable than "being nice" in some people's eyes...........
So maybe try to take pride in some of those qualities including times when you're "nice"...........perhaps some people might mis-percieve those things sometimes, but that doesn't necessarily have to over matter, they should see other good qualities in you anyway............and other people who really matter are going to like you for you regardless................

But basically, to finish, sophiesmom..................I say:

!!!!!!

Alison
That sounds rather like someone who is not very nice...

I deeply appreciate your honesty, Alison.
  #6  
Old Jan 07, 2017, 04:27 PM
Anonymous37954
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I think I might need to keep quiet for a while.
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  #7  
Old Jan 07, 2017, 05:37 PM
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Frankbtl Frankbtl is offline
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Hi sophiesmom

That sounds like someone everyone should want to know, and someone everyone should want in their lives, someone who's really genuine and "comes from a good place" when relating to people
And while I'm sure you can be nice you're more than that too, so definitely take nice as a compliment and the bits you're not sure about too, hey?

Again sophiesmom.......:



Alison
  #8  
Old Jan 07, 2017, 06:04 PM
Bill3 Bill3 is offline
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Quote:
I have been told I'm nice, but maybe they are the ones being nice in saying that...maybe they're just generous people?
These people who say that you are nice...would they all be dishonest enough to say that when they think the opposite? All of them?

I myself find that "nice" is strikingly insufficient when considering the kindness and deep compassion that you consistently reveal in your posts here....

Quote:
Maybe, if I looked at myself from the outside, I would hate who I saw.
Here is what I think: if you looked at yourself from the outside, but did not know that it was you that you were looking at, you would not hate who you saw.

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Frankbtl
Thanks for this!
Frankbtl, Yours_Truly
  #9  
Old Jan 07, 2017, 07:18 PM
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-jimi- -jimi- is offline
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Being a good and genuine person will always make enemies, or at least people who are not fond of you. Only people who really go with the flow are liked by most, and even them are disliked by some.
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Thanks for this!
healingme4me, Yours_Truly
  #10  
Old Jan 07, 2017, 08:21 PM
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healingme4me healingme4me is offline
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I can definitely relate to confusion over the nice labeling. And I get how even nice people can have people who from a distance don't interact. I've known of the perceived fakeness of being nice brings to behind the back chatter. Or how nice can be the quality not to be included in the side debaucherous activities that they would prefer to be left unknown or gosh knows whatelse. The fake point was directed towards myself eons ago, it's that too good to be true mentality. People shy away from niceness. They Just do.

Is this not knowing who you are anymore stemming from more than just a word?

And I'm confused why what Alison wrote is a descriptor of not nice? I read it different.
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Frankbtl
Thanks for this!
Frankbtl
  #11  
Old Jan 08, 2017, 11:55 AM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by -jimi- View Post
Being a good and genuine person will always make enemies, or at least people who are not fond of you. Only people who really go with the flow are liked by most, and even them are disliked by some.
__________________
Thanks for this!
Yours_Truly
  #12  
Old Jan 08, 2017, 05:58 PM
Anonymous37954
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Thank you to everyone for responding to me and I am deeply sorry if I offended anyone, either now or in the past.

I try to edit my thoughts and that does leave a rather blunt way of speaking....it can sound offensive which is NOT how I want to sound.

I'm even messing this apology up so I'll just be quiet.
Hugs from:
Bill3, Fuzzybear
  #13  
Old Jan 09, 2017, 04:55 AM
Anonymous57777
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You've replied to my posts; I've replied to your posts; we've PM'ed and well, maybe it's because we share some of the same life experiences and challenges but I just like you. Always have. I don't know what you look like or if things would feel different IRL. No one is nice all of the time. If they seem that way--they are faking it!!!!
  #14  
Old Jan 09, 2017, 03:31 PM
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Frankbtl Frankbtl is offline
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Hi sophiesmom

Well I'm certainly not offended and you certainly don't sound blunt to me, you sound honest
So thanking you so much for your honesty on here

Alison
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