[NotDeadYet]

Today I was making a post warning people about sexual assaults and what had happened to me when I started crying, and I can't seem to stop. So a little background, when I was 16/17 this dude who was the same age(I think) as me kept trying to pressure me to have sex, we had only just meet that day but he was getting very creepy and weird about it and even came up behind and whispered in my ears still trying to get what he wanted before he left, at the end of it I was shacking and having a panic attack. The only reason he did it was cause he saw how big my breasts were. Now it has been a year or 2 since then, why is this still making me cry? I do blame myself for still talking to him afterwards (that's how I know he only talked to me cause if my breasts) and I do blame myself for many things about the situation. But crying seem extreme. What can I do about this?

[pppp3]

Hi- Just my opinion/advice, from my own experience 17 years ago, (rape by a casual acquaintance), until you realize and more importantly accept that
the actions of this "creepy, weird" sexual predator are NOT your fault, not even slightly,
you will never be able to start healing and move-on.
I know many others will suggest you speak with a therapist (usually good advice), but I did and it didn't help (not her fault, it was mine for refusing to internally be convinced what she was saying over and over and over was trye that it was not my fault and likely nothing I could have done to prevent what happned...
Please save yourself years of heartache and distress, and realize sooner, not later,
, that normal boys/men don't act that way.

Talking to any person is not a green light for assault. Same applies to "being somewhere by choice, dressing a certain way" and on and on.
. Not your fault...Really!
It's impossible to predict what people can/may do until you know them really, really well.
Be thankful he didn't go any further (I hope), and use this awful experience to be a bit more cautious whenever you meet someone new,
but please don't blame yourself--Only HE is responsible for the inappropriate things he said or did.
Btw, there's a section in this forum for people who have been victims of sexual assault...Maybe spending some time reading other people's stories will help you to understand that blaming ourselves is very normal but also very unhealthy, because it is impossible for it to be your fault (what somebody else says and does).
And even being very cautious, is not always fool proof.
You just happened to be in the wtong place at the wrong time. And sadly there likely are many others he's done the exact same thing to...That's why people like him are called predators:
One that victimizes, exploits, plunders, or destroys, especially for one's own gain.

If you need someone to listen o the details of why you (wrongly) believe you deserve blame for his actions, I'm here, but know I'm fairly certain there is nothing you could say that would convince me that you deserve any blame for his exploiting you.

Blaming yourself just leaves you stuck and scared...Even severe anger (towards him) for awhile, is a more useful emotion, towards eventual healing.

[NotDeadYet]

Originally Posted by pppp3

Hi- Just my opinion/advice, from my own experience 17 years ago, (rape by a casual acquaintance), until you realize and more importantly accept that
the actions of this "creepy, weird" sexual predator are NOT your fault, not even slightly,
you will never be able to start healing and move-on.
I know many others will suggest you speak with a therapist (usually good advice), but I did and it didn't help (not her fault, it was mine for refusing to internally be convinced what she was saying over and over and over was trye that it was not my fault and likely nothing I could have done to prevent what happned...
Please save yourself years of heartache and distress, and realize sooner, not later,
, that normal boys/men don't act that way.

Talking to any person is not a green light for assault. Same applies to "being somewhere by choice, dressing a certain way" and on and on.
. Not your fault...Really!
It's impossible to predict what people can/may do until you know them really, really well.
Be thankful he didn't go any further (I hope), and use this awful experience to be a bit more cautious whenever you meet someone new,
but please don't blame yourself--Only HE is responsible for the inappropriate things he said or did.
Btw, there's a section in this forum for people who have been victims of sexual assault...Maybe spending some time reading other people's stories will help you to understand that blaming ourselves is very normal but also very unhealthy, because it is impossible for it to be your fault (what somebody else says and does).
And even being very cautious, is not always fool proof.
You just happened to be in the wtong place at the wrong time. And sadly there likely are many others he's done the exact same thing to...That's why people like him are called predators:
One that victimizes, exploits, plunders, or destroys, especially for one's own gain.

If you need someone to listen o the details of why you (wrongly) believe you deserve blame for his actions, I'm here, but know I'm fairly certain there is nothing you could say that would convince me that you deserve any blame for his exploiting you.

Blaming yourself just leaves you stuck and scared...Even severe anger (towards him) for awhile, is a more useful emotion, towards eventual healing.

I just fear that my humor may have escalated the situation, I can have a bit of a more sexual humor sometimes also I can't read tone or intention to well. So I didn't realize that he wanted sex til he was asking.
It didn't go farther then him rubbing my shoulder while still asking for sex. Sometimes I think that maybe if I didn't play into his humor or actual spoke to someone about it it would have been different. I am known to keep myself in ****** situations (ie I let my friends hurt me emotionally cause I had no one else to go to) There were other people there with me. It was in a library.

NOT your fault for this sexual assault. You are still a worthy person. You did nothing to be ashamed of. Hmmm, but 17 seems to be a bad year.

[Unrigged64072835]

It's not your fault. Stuff like this takes time to heal. Seeing a therapist may be a good idea.