[DDWest]

My daughter's ex walked out on her 3 yrs ago with no warning. My grandson was 2 yr old at the time. He is in the music business, so visitations were very erratic. Each time the child would scream going with him and just got worse astime went by. He is now almost 5 and tells anyone that will listen he hates his father. My daughter has talked him into just seeing his dad for a couple hrs maybe once a month. About a month ago we were eating lunch out, I'm extremely close with him and spend a minimum of 2-3 days a week with him. I was talking to him and told him that it is ok for him to tell me if anyone hurts him and I would make sure that someone would never hurt him again and he asked me "would you get a knife and stab my dad?" I was so shocked when he said it and said I can't stab people, that could kill someone and he said that's what I want. I don't know how to handle this and would appreciate any feed back on this. Thank You All So Much

It is terrible to see children suffering and I am no expert because I have always felt useless in regards to fixing it. It is good that you are there to listen to him. Even though what he says sound terrible, maybe don't discourage it in hopes that he will continue to talk about it. Maybe something serious is going on (but maybe not, don't assume either way) and if it is the only way to find out would be to make your grandson comfortable about expressing himself without judgement. He also could be referring to his dad that way because he senses his mom's anger (I don't know if she is angry or not) about his dad. Kids are very protective of their moms sometimes. The fact that you see your grandson 2 or 3 days a week is so important and wonderful. Kids need a lot of love and grandparents definitely "fill in the gaps". I hope things get better for your grandson.

[Gojamadar]

Originally Posted by DDWest

My daughter's ex walked out on her 3 yrs ago with no warning. My grandson was 2 yr old at the time. He is in the music business, so visitations were very erratic. Each time the child would scream going with him and just got worse astime went by. He is now almost 5 and tells anyone that will listen he hates his father. My daughter has talked him into just seeing his dad for a couple hrs maybe once a month. About a month ago we were eating lunch out, I'm extremely close with him and spend a minimum of 2-3 days a week with him. I was talking to him and told him that it is ok for him to tell me if anyone hurts him and I would make sure that someone would never hurt him again and he asked me "would you get a knife and stab my dad?" I was so shocked when he said it and said I can't stab people, that could kill someone and he said that's what I want. I don't know how to handle this and would appreciate any feed back on this. Thank You All So Much

Hi,
It is a sad case when a child loses one of the parent, however losing the mother is the greatest problem and with help and suppor yourg randson should be OK.
Onother problem might be that a two year old child is far more intelligent than some people think and talking ill about your daughters boyfriend (his father) in hearing distance of him might have caused the animousity.
It may be nicer and safer if your daughter accompanies your son when he visits.

[MickeyCheeky]

I think you need to have a serious talk with him and see where to go from there.. wish you good luck, you already did a good job by asking him :sadhug

Ouch! I'm so sorry. I also am sorry to say this is pretty serious and an indication of something wrong. How old is he now? Is he in school? Perhaps your daughter could have a talk with people at the school about any behaviour they have witnessed and/or having him see a school psychologist (pretty much all school boards will have one). She should also mention this to the family doctor. If he feels it is warranted he could also start the ball rolling with getting an assessment for the boy. At the same time, by talking with an outside party, it may be determined why the boy feels this way.

[*Laurie*]

I'm so glad you're involved with your grandson. His anger sounds alarming to me. He's really hurting over the loss of his dad! I would not hesitate to have him see a therapist asap. Depending upon his age, play therapy could be helpful. Just please don't ignore his grief, hurt, and anger.