[Kickers]

I've been wondering of late if my mental approach to potential situations, be it work related or relationships, etc, is part of the problem. I very much approach things in a 'What am I capable of?' questioning method, which, as my self confidence isn't great, leads to me not believing in myself and the answer 'not much'. For example when I think about applying for jobs I think about what I'm capable of and as such limit it to what I think my skills currently are.

The question of what I actually want in life has barely crossed my mind but maybe that's a better way of going about things.Thinking about what you want in life and going after it and working through difficulties to get what you want. That seems to be proactive and forward thinking where as my current method is limited by the present, the past, and my outlook. I hear other people talk about what they want - so maybe most people go about things in that way? I don't know.

[Teddy Bear]

I'm in the same boat. I look at jobs and wonder if I can do them. Don't think it's attitude. I think it's more realistic thinking.

I agree; in fact, I am not yet at the point where seeking employment is even an option.

But... I am getting there! Albeit slowly, i am working on my self worth and trying to train myself to a) recognise those negative automatic thoughts and b) come up with alternative more positive ones (this is the foundation of CBT incidentally). Those negative thoughts are always going to come but stopping them in their tracks with a 'look I'm not going to think that way, what can I find positive in this situation" is the goal.

Learning to identify the positive should be helpful on your work journey.

I was given a few suggestions to help out when I feel more comfortable going back to work. One is to visit my local Canadian Mental Health Association (the UK will have it's own version). Mine apparently actually has a vocational counsellor. Regardless, what they will have is a list of employers seeking staff. These companies are aware of mental illness but are willing to still hire.

Have you considered too changing up the work you are looking for (and this is where my anxiety steps in). Perhaps it is time to re-evaluate your career choice.

ex. I hav worked 30+ years in retail and retail management. There is no way I would be able to work with the public again. That leaves me with no idea what to do. Again the mental health association might help with that. My psychiatrist has suggested too when the time comes that I should seek something repetetive that doesn't require working with people.

[jacck123]

hiii
welcome to this forum site , here you can find many interesting topics and their answer is also very interesting . The problem of attitude is very common now a days
Only if you think you are better then rest due to someone in your family being a big person in the public doesnt necessarily mean you need to have any kind of attitude because its not you

[Kickers]

Maybe 'attitude' wasn't quite the right word to use, not quite sure what is though. Maybe approach?

The list of of employers willing to hire is an interesting one, I will have to see if there's something similar here. With work I immediately shy away from anything where dealing with the public is a big part of the job as I'm afraid my levels of communication aren't up to dealing with it. The biggest employment barrier I have is a lack of driving license, I'm going to have another go at learning how to drive when the evenings get lighter but it triggers bad anxiety in me.

The job I currently have I'm surprised I got, it took me 5 days to ring up about it. It's just a seasonal thing but I think working has helped with some aspects of my self worth. But I know there's no future in it.. which is the problem and I've somewhat stuck my head in the sand when it comes to looking for another. I hope you're able find some employment that you enjoy justafriend and that isn't as stressful as retail.

I think maybe I'm going to ask the people I know about how they go about it all, see if it's a difference between being mentally healthy or not.