I know this is futile, because there's no way to know and it doesn't matter anyway, but I've often wondered about it.

I think I might be in law school now. Probably married with kids. I would have gone to a mainstream high school and had friends. Gone to events like homecoming and prom instead of being locked away in a psych ward. I just feel like there's another person underneath the MI but it's taken over that person and robbed me from having a better life.

I know you can still achieve things with MI but at least in my case it definitely makes it harder or slows things down.

[venusss]

I might never been so involved because... I would not trying to run from myself and learning about misery of others in the process.

I might be married. Blah. And bore everybody wiht ten thousand pictures of my baby and my "home decor projects".

[Unrigged64072835]

I would still have my job and a six-figure income. My husband would still be working as well.

But as it stands, I'm not sure I would've stayed there anyway. It was a lot of stress.

[fishin fool]

Yes I truly believe that my life would have been better.
I would not have struggled like I did or made some of the mistakes
I did when hypo manic.

Oh to be 'normal'.

I recognised as young as the first day of school that I was different.

Things I'm sure would have been different though would be work and relationships. Perhaps I would have not had anxiety standing in the way and I would today be enjoying a stable and enriching career. Perhaps too I would not have continued the bullying pattern and had positive nurturing relationships instead.

totally diffrent

I would have hopefully got through school, have a paying job, and be able to function normally

Yes, I think it may have been easier. My life has not been bad, most of it has been stable fortunately, I would have preferred not to have/or overcome the challenges I have had. It has however been a learning curve, and I have learned a lot.

[seesaw]

I'm sure my life would be a lot different. And maybe better, maybe worse. It's hard to speculate on these things, and not very useful to me either. I know what I went through is hard, and I have the physical scars to prove it, but I have learned so much about myself in the process, and grown in ways a "normal" person would never have to grow. I am so MUCH stronger, I think, than a "normal" person because of what I have suffered...sure, I wish some things didn't have to happen, but I don't think I would trade my life for someone else's.

I sort of feel like this kind of speculation is only helpful if you think: if I didn't have an MI, what would I do with my life? Now, why am I letting my MI get in the way of me doing that?

Seesaw

[tradika]

Not worth it to speculate over where I would've been because I'm not. I still have a mental illness, and I have to put my energy towards getting through the day. Besides, my MI has GIVEN me some measure of empathy for the down and out that I would've never had. That is deeply in ingrained in my identity now. I am not sure I would give that up to be non-MI.

[stewartmays1]

i will say yes my life would of been a lot better everything is so damn hard these days if my mi was good i could do a lot more

[ray68]

With the struggles of MI I do not think that I would wish for it to be another way. It can be fun to think about but it can also be a depressing subject. I do not think I would have been better off without it and I can say that the things that I have gone through have probably made me a better person. I feel like if I did not have what I do then I would be something much worse. I would not be me. Parts of me have been hardened by this disease and yet others have softened. I have a compassion that I do not think I would have otherwise. I am a very open-minded person and I do not think that I would be had I not gone through what I have. I would be a very different person and I do not think I would like her.

Its funny that this is posted now, when I was in church last the subject was suffering. The pastor brought up a quote from C. S. Lewis. "Someone asked C. S. Lewis, "Why do the righteous suffer?" "Why not?" he replied. "They're the only ones who can take it."

[MommaD]

Then there are a lot of us on this forum who must be dang righteous!

[VanGore28]

Sometimes it does bother me that I don't have a good job, when I was top of my class through primary school and a teacher called me university material but I obviously fell ill knocking me way off track.
I see people I went to school with have either travelled the world, made hundreds of new friends they go on holiday with, have progressed in their careers or have started families and got married. And me. I have none of this.
But I can't imagine being anyone but me underneath it all

[passionfruit3]

That would mean my family dynamic would have to change to don't see that to but it would be nice to be without conversion disorder caused then I'd never have started therapy but then I probably be were i am today so nah.

[whisperingskye]

If I put too much though into this I know I will end up triggering myself. Lets just say yes, my life would be very different right now.

[zijax]

I would be a total boring arrogant wasp

[crimsoncat]

Absolutely,definitely yes,sometimes I think part of my problems are actually mourning for the life I could of had .

[LadyShadow]

I think my life would be different. But even though I don't let my MI define me, without it I wouldn't have achieved such heights of euphoria and had a wonderful childhood in my dream world in my imagination.

My MI is a gift, and sure maybe my life would have been better, but the real me is the bipolar me, warts and all. And even though I would love to wish it away, that drive and fire I have in my belly is part of it and I can't give that up.

[b1ghr0ll3r]

Yes my life would be very different. I'd probably still have my career & have the "textbook normal life" I've always hoped for

[gayleggg]

My life would have definitely been different. I would probably still be married to my first husband.

[Teddy Bear]

Just to think of the sports car I could have bought with all the money I've spent on Drs and meds

Firstly
I probably would have had a boyfriend I would have moved to LA by now I would have been living my dream and I would have been making music and loads of friends, I would have had a drivers license I would have had my own apartment
I probably would have been married by now

I would have gone to college maybe or at least I'd have a decent career that would be what I wanted my whole life

I would be much happier if I didn't have mi

[Yours_Truly]

Yes, definitely. I would have a college degree, career, friends, stable income, family-- husband & kids, and would travel the world. Yep, can't write anymore or I'm going to cry.

[Jupi]

Totally yeah. I had the highest grade average during lower and middle elementary school. Many teachers thought that I'd be president of the USA in the future and I believed it.

In present time, those assumptions are unlikely to happen due to my circumstances involving schizophrenia/ptsd. I can barely run my life. Running a country is out of the question lol.

[bipolar angel]

Originally Posted by crimsoncat

Absolutely,definitely yes,sometimes I think part of my problems are actually mourning for the life I could of had .

Absolutely get the mourning part! I spent too many yrs being upset over the life i had/lost ,why me this happen to/I'm a good person,why,why....then after yrs of therapy had to realize well,hell, the mental illness is here and has not gone away. So...i had to make peace with the idea that OMG, i have a mental illness but so what! In my case, Im still the same me who has likes/dislikes,has a family,job,hobbies-all of which i can be a part of -on meds,with therapy,with monitoring, with self care in place.

And yes,as many have said,i did in some ways become a better person. Before,everything was black/white..now i have room for gray areas,more compassion/empathy for others,able to realize that the things i was upset about before...are not earth shattering in the bigger picture of life. Had i not had major depressive episode,fallen apart-i would never have developed the skills that helped me survive awful divorce,help my child through a very traumatic event..etc

So do I sometimes say to the universe,enough, i need a break-YES. But other days,in my case, I look at others who have situations so much worse than mine and say,well. Im ok...just trying figure out what life I can/do have.