[Eleny]

I have had low self esteem pretty much my whole life and am a people pleaser. I have no idea who I am or what I think most of the time and tend to just adopt the views of those around me. All I want in life is to love myself and know who I am but I don't know if it's possible I ever can.

Most of the time I am extremely self critical. I spend all my time thinking I'm not good enough for people or that they don't like me and end up crippled by their opinion. I'm in therapy at the moment which I'm sure is helping but my fear is I'll never be able to love myself and find inner contentment.

Do you think it's possible I could? It's all I want in life and I'd love to hear from anyone who managed to heal and develop good self esteem, or if anyone knows any tried and tested methods for it.

Thank you

[~Christina]

I hated myself on every level .

Therapy helped me find my self worth and esteem back.

[JustJace2u]

I'm working on finding the good in myself. My therapist has started working with me on CBT and DBT skills to help me get to that point.

[Unrigged64072835]

I still struggle with self-esteem. It can be done but it takes some work. Therapy has helped quite a bit.

CBT did wonders for my self-worth

[boogiesmash]

I struggle with self esteem too. Sometimes I hate my body and what it has become. I've been doing dbt have to keep up with it but it has helped.

[Pinky12]

Hi Everyone!

I did not know where to post this so i decided to post here I guess. I guess it sort of relates to it. I'm a ****** person, I can't love myself for how badly i have treated others. I even once said some ****** things to my little sister (who was 11 at the time), I am so horrible, and i feel bad. I once told her subtle mean remarks whenever she said something i needed to fix. I guess you could tell that i may have been a bully. I hate myself, and i wish i can go back in time to change it. Not a day goes by where i don't feel regret. She's 13 now and she says that she doesn't remember it anymore and that i should let it go. But i can't let it go, i don't deserve anything!

[continuosly blue]

For me , low self esteem was a by product of anger. anger towards others and anger at myself for not living up to others standards. I also set the bar way too high for myself. My goals and feelings of self worth were simply unattainable and very low because of my mental makeup.
As time went on I lost everything. I felt lower than low because of the things I had done and the way I felt about myself. It brought me to the edge of the cliff.
It takes time and considerable effort. Much therapy , and finally being told that I WAS worth something and had much to offer regardless of what others or MYSELF thought.
There are methods out there to help you change how you feel about yourself regardless of negative self perception. Don't try and do this alone. Hang in there long enough to let the miracle happen.
Best to you

I used to be just like you Eleny. I am still a people pleaser sometimes. But I used to take on the energy of the people around me, whoever I was with. I'd conform to them, because I didn't like myself enough to show my true feelings and thoughts. I pushed those down so not even I myself knew what I really thought and cared about.

I'm not sure what exactly changed for me. I got older. I find that the older I get, the less I care what people think. I'm 33 now. I still have my moments, but it's nothing like when I was in my 20s or teens. I wonder if journaling your thoughts would help you. I'd also like to recommend 2 books: Self Compassion by Kristen Neff, and The Mindful Path to Self Compassion (I forget the author).

[Teddy Bear]

I keep thinking I have let my family down. We are ill. Just be yourself see what others think of your opinions.

[MickeyCheeky]

I struggle with self-esteem a lot.. and I still haven't found a good therapist

[Jupi]

I don't know but Ive read that it's possible.

If I were to make an assumption on how to learn to love ones self, I'don't say to start with being alone, which means to not get involved in social interactions. Then, in time, things should fall in place.

Originally Posted by Eleny

I have had low self esteem pretty much my whole life and am a people pleaser. I have no idea who I am or what I think most of the time and tend to just adopt the views of those around me. All I want in life is to love myself and know who I am but I don't know if it's possible I ever can.

Most of the time I am extremely self critical. I spend all my time thinking I'm not good enough for people or that they don't like me and end up crippled by their opinion. I'm in therapy at the moment which I'm sure is helping but my fear is I'll never be able to love myself and find inner contentment.

Do you think it's possible I could? It's all I want in life and I'd love to hear from anyone who managed to heal and develop good self esteem, or if anyone knows any tried and tested methods for it.

Thank you

That bold I marked - sounds like a "good listener" trait. Yet at times the more you listen the less you output.

Right now I personally feel good all of a sudden, and it's rare due to depressive episodes. When I feel good, I don't have an "I love myself" feeling. I feel more of a "I feel good, and I can share happiness and love with people" feeling.
From my current good mood, I feel that loving yourself is kind of like connecting a wire into its own appliance. You just need to feel good.