[ARflowerstar]

So today I had a meeting with my psychiatrist and his med student.

(I got to a special school for mental illness btw)

So today everyone kept asking if I took my ADHD meds because I was really hyper and I kept saying yes but no one believed me

HERES WHAT IM CONFUSED ABOUT.

During my meeting with my pdoc, (being the first conversation I had with someone all day, I've been kinda in my own world for the rest of it)

I was just....I don't even know what happened. The med student and my pdoc had trouble understanding me because according to him,

I was: - Talking at a speed of a million miles an hour,
- Every sentence I said was a different topic from my last sentence.

Because of these the meeting lasted almost TWO HOURS because I just wouldn't stop talking. However I did get to say what I wanted to say during that period of time. But... he didn't really get time to explain it since I kept talking.... like forever.

It had to end because he literally said I was "losing it" and it was hard to talk to me and understand me.

I'm kinda confused. But he didn't really take me seriously because I'm actually feeling great and I told him I don't need medication anymore because I feel amazing and that I wanted to take more courses (in my school, my psychiatrist is basically the "principal") and he said that I can't take any more courses and that
I 'm taking enough.

I also told him that I feel so great that I want to go back to regular school soon and he said that I am nowhere near ready to go back to regular school.

I am really confused and I felt like he didn't really like HEAR me even though I'm pretty sure I was thorough about it!

I also mentioned that I'm eating 200 calories a day so I can lose weight and I can't really stop myself because im obsessed with losing weight and exercising but he said that I probably eat more than I think which is impossible because I keep track of every SINGLE calorie I eat on an app on my phone.

I've noticed ive been hyper but honestly I felt like I completely humiliated myself because I was talking non stop about stuff I didn't even understand and when I left the room I saw two of my counsellors right outside the door smiling and laughing.

They were like "are you SURE you took your meds?" and I was like "YES!!!!"

And like I don't know but I feel really hyper even though my meds are usually helping me like crazy and honestly my psychiatrist thought I was losing it because I had so many great ideas and I KNOW that I can do so many things but

he said that I wasn't thinking clearly and im confused because im thinking great and im fine actually im amazing and he confused me so I dont know what to think right now I just feel hyper and I dont know why theres anything wrong with that I just want to get things done

he wouldn't take me off my meds and he won't let me do more school courses and he won't let me go back to regular school but I feel amazing why won't he let me do things I KNOW I can DO!!!

[Nammu]

Not eating enough can be very triggering

[ARflowerstar]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Not eating enough can be very triggering

sorry I didn't mean to trigger anyone, I just wanted to say that im really frustrated with my psychiatrist that he didn't take me seriously today

[Nammu]

You didn't trigger me, what I meant was that severely restricting calories can trigger the body into a mania like episode

[ARflowerstar]

Originally Posted by Nammu

You didn't trigger me, what I meant was that severely restricting calories can trigger the body into a mania like episode

Oh.. I did not know that. That's interesting, I know that your heart rate and blood pressure can get messed up, but I forgot that im literally depriving my brain of nutrients so..... Yeah.... Well its not like my psychiatrist cares. He doesn't even believe me. He'll only believe me when he sees "results". I get weighed again next month so hopefully he believes me then.

Um, I'm going to be the black sheep here and I'm going to come right out and say it.... from what you have said, the way you have said it, and what you've related of what the doctors said leaves me concerned. Reading your post I felt as though your were talking a mile a minute. Concerned. Only eating 200 calories a day. Concerned. Challenging so much of what your doctors had to say. Concerned.

Whether or not your psychiatrist, or his student, or those other counselors care ... Do you care?

If we don't care about ourselves and our own process, then why should others (professional or otherwise)?

If we aren't willing to put forth the effort to help our own process, then why should they?

Instead of starving for a month in hopes he'll believe you, why not start believing in yourself now instead?

Then take that belief and do what it is you know you need to do in order to be a healthier you?



Sincerely,
Pflower!

[BlueEyedMama]

I am very concerned as well. It is important that you nourish your body. Four years ago I didn't eat for ten days and it lead first to mania (the only time that I've been manic) which lead to a psychotic break. The doctors told me that not only can malnutrition lead to physical issues, like organs shutting down but that it can hurt the mind as well. That was my one and only episode of psychosis and I learned the hard way how important nourishing my body and mind is.

Please take care and please consider eating more. Your physical AND mental health depends on it.