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  #1  
Old Apr 03, 2017, 10:39 AM
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Marylin Marylin is offline
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I am so very lonely I feel isolated and I will go mad without anyone to talk to.I am thinking of joining the Quaker church,but not sure?It feels right to me the way they conduct their services in silence to connect with spirit of God.
Maybe I can go twice a month,weekly isn't possible cos I need to pay a mini cab to get there and back so I might look into it,you have to donate monthly too.

I am fearing for my mental health it will deteriorate if I am isolated and cut off from people.Any suggestions how I can reach out and connect given that I have social phobia?I am trying not to let my feelings dictate,I am trying not to be controlled by my fears,I am scared cos of my illness,I have in the past had to let people down due to the physical limitations of my illness.I am scared.

Being alone and stuck indoors all the time I am lost and it feels like I don't exist ,I have no contact or human warmth,it is scary to be isolated,I want connection,but I am scared of it too.I have been hurt so much in the past.
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  #2  
Old Apr 03, 2017, 11:29 AM
*Laurie* *Laurie* is offline
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I am often in the same situation, very alone and isolated to the point at which I feel I am crazy from the aloneness. I think going to the Quaker church is a good idea. At least you will be with people, and perhaps attending a service will lead to further connection with others. I've found that sometimes just reaching out in any way possible leads to further connection.

Also, are there support groups in your area? A support group would be a good idea, I think.
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Marylin, shadow2000
  #3  
Old Apr 03, 2017, 12:05 PM
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MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is offline
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I'm so sorry you feel so lonely I hear your pain. Going go the church can be a good idea, for a start anyway..
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Marylin, shadow2000
  #4  
Old Apr 03, 2017, 02:57 PM
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Marylin Marylin is offline
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Hello Mickey and laurie,thank you for your replies,I will find out more about becoming an attender as soon as possible at the Quaker church...I need to be around people and to strengthen my connection with God's spirit.It is just I may need more time to get to the point where I can approach the church as I have social anxieties to overcome.I have a counselling session in the building thursday this week and will make initial enquiries.
Thanks for this!
shadow2000
  #5  
Old Apr 03, 2017, 03:28 PM
Anonymous48850
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I don't know how old you are, but SilverLine, Age Concern and MeetUp are good places to start in the U.K. As well as taking part in something, like Healthwatch, WRVS, WI and your local GP surgery's PPG.
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Marylin, shadow2000
  #6  
Old Apr 03, 2017, 04:02 PM
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Marylin Marylin is offline
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I don't have the courage for meetup and I think I am not quite old enough for silverline and age concern at 53,Age UK said I have to be over 55 for their befriender service.I haven't heard of Healthwatch,WI is too conservative for me and boredom sets in with GP PPG a more insincere group of people is hard to find!
Thanks for this!
shadow2000
  #7  
Old Apr 03, 2017, 07:22 PM
Vinpin Vinpin is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: Georgia
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Hi Marilyn,

Although I am a newbie to the forums, I'd like to suggest that you may want to consider volunteering for a cause of your choice - which ultimately, may or may not be the Quaker Church you mentioned.

I'm fairly introverted and don't like my social outings to be too long or chatty. Volunteering at my local food bank fits the bill for me very well, because I can offset some of the socialization activity with the actual work of filling orders, stocking shelves etc. I'm not sure how prevalent food banks are in the UK - but if they aren't, maybe you can find something other volunteer work that gets you out of the house and eases you into socialization in a more gradual manner....

Hope that helps!
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Marylin
Thanks for this!
Marylin, shadow2000
  #8  
Old Apr 04, 2017, 06:59 AM
justafriend306
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I have not the courage for meet-up or generally meeting people from online. Apologies to ruffling the feathers of some but I just can't make online friendships (the prospect intimidates and repulses me; there is a fakery to it in my little shared opinion). I was so desperately lonely though for a few years there and SH as a coping mechanism. I had SI.

The best thing I did was attend a Mood Disorders Support Group. Finally I met people like myself and found myself able to talk socially amongst them during the allotted time before the meeting to do so. I have made a number of acquaintances and a few have even become friendships. That was near three years ago. I have since reached out and made other social connections. I am healthier too; so, I don't attend the group each week any more but it is there for me when and if I need to be around people.

It was so very difficult to get myself to that first meeting. I put up a lot of excuses and barriers but I am so glad I did.
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Marylin
Thanks for this!
Marylin
  #9  
Old Apr 04, 2017, 09:12 AM
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Marylin Marylin is offline
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Location: England,UK
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Hello Vinpin and Justafriend,

Fortunately I am feeling a lot less lonely and isolated.When I first posted this thread my mother had emotionally abused me and I had decided to cut her out of my life.I had not spoken to her when I was used to her company and so was feeling cut off and lonely,I had had my PTSD triggered by my arguments with her before I cut her off and so was feeling past emotional memories of fear and isolation.I had also been stuck in the house for a week having no money to get out.So things got desperate and to make it worse I had a lot of fear and anxieties triggered without knowing it was my mental illness rearing it's ugly head.I have been out today and spent time in the coffee shop,picked up my benefits money and feel less alone.

I am definitely going to branch out and try to meet people.I have joined a political party and am going to see about joining the Quakers.Volunteering is something I'd like to do cos it is good to help others too,when an opportunity arise I will try and obtain a position volunteering.On reflection I am not as trapped in isolation as it felt I was,it was more the PTSD throwing up memories of a time when I was extremely isolated.

Thanks to everybody who commented and gave me advice here,your kind attention is appreciated.

Marylinx
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  #10  
Old Apr 04, 2017, 09:50 AM
Rizzar Rizzar is offline
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Hello, Marylin. I wish you well.
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Marylin
Thanks for this!
Marylin
  #11  
Old Apr 04, 2017, 06:11 PM
Anonymous50987
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I feel the same way
  #12  
Old Apr 04, 2017, 08:13 PM
Anonymous50909
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I struggle with loneliness and isolation (and depression) too. church and volunteering both sound like good possibilities.
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