[sinking]

Dear Home,
i love you, i've always loved you and i'll always love you. i miss you SO much. you're special and you'll always have a special place in my heart. i'll never forget you. thank you for everything. for all that you meant and still mean to me. i never wanted to leave you, you know?
i always bring you a bunch of flowers with my blood, on your death anniversary. exactly at 8.40 pm. the last minute with you in 2014. it helps keeping the connection alive. i read about the last day with you and i remember every detail of it and of you. you're always on my mind and often in my dreams too.
i love you SO much,
big warm and full of love hugs.
sinking

Sinking, I feel as though you are describing my own connection with 'home'. I did not leave willingly and have been grieving the loss for now 5 years last week.

[sinking]

Thank you. I thought i was alone with my feelings for my Home... im sorry for your loss. Its a huge loss for me.

May I ask how you lost your home? I took ill and was hospitalized upon which family packed my things and brought me home. Sure it is good to have their support nearby but I grieve for my home.

What is home for you? Is it a specific place? Or is it a sense of place? I pine away for mountains, trees, and water. Anywhere with these things imparts a sense of home for me. I but just have to head westward and I feel a huge sense I am homeward bound. Meanwhile, it's been 5 years now on the barren prairie and I still hate it. It is appalling to me. I still get teary eyed near every day.

[sinking]

My Home is a specific place. the house where i've lived all my life since i was born. im still living with parents - cant afford a place on my own - and i had to follow them when they decided to move in a "better" house. it's not better. i understand why they did it but cant accept it. i've been here for 3 years and still hate it. i miss my Home.

[VernonJenkins]

I'm sorry for your losses.

Are you able to visit your old neighbourhood? Perhaps saying good bye on your own terms instead of having it wrenched away might improve things.

I managed a holiday to some mountains last summer. No they weren't 'my' mountains but they were the Rockies all the same. I said goodbye properly as I left. Oh I was still teary eyed but it was on my terms instead of being dragged away kicking and screaming. I still pine away for the West Coast but having a goodbye on my own terms much improved things. The grieving is a little easier.

[sinking]

i can visit my old neighborhood whenever i want but i've found it doesnt help, actually makes things worse, so i go there only on the anniversary day.
and i did say goodbye properly and in my own way, and of course it was good being able to do it so, but i still miss it. and actually im glad i do cause this shows how attached to my Home i was and still am. im glad i still dream about it cause it means i havent forgotten it. and i never will. as i will never accept the move and the new house. i never wanted it.

2014 is recent.

[sinking]

yes, it is. sometimes it feels like yesterday and sometimes like ages ago...