Venting.. again

I can, with no hesitation, say I hate myself.
Low self esteem prevents me from doing so many things. I can't get a job, make friends, or go to places/events I want to go to. I don't think I can ever progress. And I can't even find any drive to help myself.
I have health issues, family issues, I'm overweight, I'm ugly, I have no friends. I can't see anything going for me.
My "mood" changes constantly- from being confident and ready to take on anything, to thinking about suicide, and feeling emotionally numb- or it's not even a real feeling and I'm just shutting my emotions on purpose?
How can I feel all these things and go to college this fall? I'll probably just drop out and waste my parents' money. Not like I know what I wanna do with my life. Ugh. I'm so tired and frustrated with myself that I don't want to be here.

A few things come to mind. Firstly no, No, NO you aren't those things. You are a worthwhile person and worthy of positivity - especially from yourself.

Am I correct in making the assumption you are a young adult?

Talk to someone. Your family doctor is a good place to start; a guidance counsellor at school if that applies. If you are the age I think you are you need not have parental involvement or approval to do so.

I went through a great deal of what you are feeling for 30 years before I got help. What grief and heartache I could have avoided had I done so early on. What helped? Finally talking to someone, getting a diagnosis, and putting my life on track. Medication has helped greatly, so has a great psychiatrist. But probably what has helped the most was a CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) program, the work for which I continue to do nearly everyday. These things - particularly the last - went far in improving my self worth. It gave me hope and confidence (in fact I am now making a plan to resume working and make some personal changes like a move with a 6 month target).

We are all rooting for you!

I can relate a lot to your feelings.. I'm so sorry

Hi. Sorry that i'm super late on responding.
Firstly, @MickeyCheeky , you've responded to many of my threads, if not all, from this acc and the old one I forgot about, telling me that you can relate to a lot of what I say. I really appreciate you making me feel like I'm not alone in this, but I also hope you're getting help/getting better too :/ These feelings suck.
Okay, and @justafriend306 I am 16, so maybe it's close to the age you were thinking of. I don't have anyone to talk to now, really. Unless I open up to my regular doc. I might seek help but idk anymore.