[Wintery]

Hi

Sorry if I'm posting, I know I shouldn't...I left my other old thread hanging, and it was my fault.

I don't know if I have social anxiety, or something else, I can't tell what's wrong or even if anything's wrong, sometimes I think nothing's wrong. I don't know how I think about things, it's all messed up. I'm sorry if this is in the wrong section too.

I think it's because... I don't know if I truly feel anxious in social situations, or if I'm just making it up in my mind to feel justified in my avoidance towards everything. I avoid most social situations. I do get nervous, but sometimes I don't...so I can't tell the difference. I don't have any friends. I don't talk to people in my university. I pretty much stay to myself 24/7, except my family, who I live with. I think I'm asocial.

When I was young I think I had selective mutism in school, up until I was in high school and even sort of now. I didn't talk to anyone. I guess I wanted friends back then, but after I've been rejected so much, I've seen that friends and people in general can never understand me. I don't relate to other people. I only see a doctor now and they don't know what I have, they thought I had psychosis/schizophrenia, that's what I'm dx with, but recently I think they finally see that I'm not really psychotic, and so now I'm going off anti psychotics to see how I will do.

I think I feel happy alone, because, I can be in my own world. I think I might have a personality problem, because I can see, that I want to be alone. I like it, I enjoy spending hours and hours in my own mind, and I can truly be myself. But sometimes... I think it's too much, I sometimes think I'm lonely...but at the same time, I don't want friends or relationships? I don't know my own self so I can't honestly tell. I don't feel anything for other people... I think I have low empathy, no feelings or emotions.

What's wrong? Sorry again for posting...and I know no one can truly tell me, there's more but I won't post it all...I just have lots of troubles and don't know what I should do....

[William Munny]

Maybe your introverted, I'm the same way, And I always tryed to fit in with social groups but when I found out what introversion was I didn't feel so different. Your brain is just wired to not require a lot of stimulation to be satisfied. Your best friend is your inner voice. and be proud of that.

[Sunflower123]

Like the previous poster said, you could be introverted. I am an introvert and a loner and need very little social interaction. There's nothing wrong with that. I encourage you to see a psychiatrist to be evaluated and if you've already done that please get a second opinion. Best wishes.

[Wintery]

thank you for responding

I always think it’s more than introversion, because it stops me from doing things and I avoid doing things because of my feelings and thoughts. But I'm not always sure what the thoughts and feelings are? It bothers me that I don't know my own thoughts.

I already see a psychiatrist, and I’ve seen two other psychiatrists and been in the hospital once. The first doctor I saw dx me with schizophrenia, and the next one I think just followed the treatment plan for the program, and the one I currently see is trying me off meds to see how I will do, because they said there was never any real certainty I was psychotic, just the first doctor dx me and then they didn’t know. When I was in the hospital they kept the dx the same, but, I think the doctor there also thought it was something else, just they didn't know either.

I don’t want to do anything anymore... but I think it’s not depression. I don’t want to do things, it’s hard.

I'm not really sure what goes on in my own mind. I think that's what bothers me the most....sorry.