catching up

So, we have hired an attorney to get us through the appeals process with trying to get our foster-pre-adoptive child back. We are waiting on the licensing review. We really are feeling empty. Friends came for the weekend with a 2 month old foster baby so that made us feel wonderful. She was a baby who only heard spanish prior to foster care and everyone's spanish is rusty at best. She is precious and I got to care for her a lot. She looks like a well loved baby and I hope mom gets her back soon.

I broke my wrist by jumping down a short distance playing with a 4 year old I was caring for. I love kids. I should not have jumped, landed on side walk caught self with wrist breaking.

I am in a funny position in my life. The grieving is enormous. If my child is not awarded back to me I think I want to go take care of an ailing Aunt. Of course that would leave my dogs alone for too many hours a day till hubby returned home so I would have to see about someone coming to be with them a bit. They can be so naughty when they are mad. Right now the little Jill Rustle is sitting on my right shoulder. Oh yeah, hurt shoulder too so I am doing exercises to strengthen rotator cuff area so I don't go through that again. My daughter in college can be so needy. My son is needy in different ways, and other daughter I have to call to drag her into family.
I feel like a woman just waking up. I don't want to be doing what I am doing unless I get my child back. I need a cause.

I cut my hair pretty short from always very long. Wanted to shave it but... Knew I wouldn't get custody then. It's a visual reminder of I am at war for my child and I am grieving. Funny thing is I have curls and it looks great even when I fall out of bed. I never played with my hair and today is no different.

So that's my life. Don't know where to go from here. I could work on teaching myself home repairs. Needing money to get baby back. angry at the agency who took her away so wondering if I could work with another agency after child custody appeals are over. I have been trough hell. So much I wish I could explain. Sorry for the long post.

((((((((((((((((wisewoman))))))))))))))))