[Tizer81]

I'm an avoidant currently involved with an anxiously attached partner. The relationship is very challenging, mostly due to the physical symptoms of anxiety and stress that we both tend to feel as the relationship progresses. It often feels like something must be wrong, even though I can't find an obvious problem. Could you comment on any solutions to this avoidant/anxious dynamic, in that is there a possibility that it could be transformed into a secure attachment over time, or are you dubious about that possibility? I'm be really interested in your comments, as I'm very keen to make it work. I just worry whether these physical symptoms will subside with time. Thanks 

[Unrigged64072835]

i don't know how long you've been together, but relationships need trust and communication and quite a bit of faith in your partner. It would probably help if you and your partner saw a couple counselor, or see a therapist together.

Hello Tizer81, I see this is your first post so welcome to PC! I hope you find your time here to be of benefit. Once you have 5 approved posts, you will be able to enter the chat room and talk to fellow members. There is almost always someone online to chat with.

I think couples counselling and even individual therapy could be helpful for you both.

[Trippin2.0]

Time definitely helped me feel more secure.

Time, trust, patience, loyalty and communication.

Sure I still have times I get super anxious, (very rarely tho) just this past Saturday it seemed the faecal matter hit the ceiling oscillator and I nearly ran in order to avoid all those feelings and everything that comes with it...

But I practiced some mindfulness, put myself in reactionary timeout (no action allowed till a certain amount of time has passed) had an open and honest (calm) chat with my bf, and my fears have been put to rest. I am back to feeling more secure.

I doubt I will ever be 100% securely attached, but the reduction in anxiety is a good enough improvement for me.

It definitely beats pushing him away, running away, or anxiously waiting for something to go very very wrong.

[Snap66]

Are you professionally diagnosed with AvPD?
Please don't feel that you have to reply.

I can only comment as someone who has AvPD so I didn't want to give you my opinion only to find that you're self diagnosed or have some other core issue making my response useless.

welcome.

[Sunflower123]

I think it's possible for it to work out with a little bit of work on both sides and therapy. Good luck and best wishes.