I'm not sure where to put this. But I am coming to terms with who I am as a person. I always wanted to be the kind of person who is altruistic and helps other people. Like, as a career. However. I'm coming to realize we all show up in this world differently, and experience life differently, and none of this is wrong or incorrect. I don't think I'm the kind of person who is good at social work or working with other people to help them. It overwhelms me. Sometimes it bores me. I'm uninterested. Stressed. Despite this, I know I am kind, caring, and a good person.

I was talking to my therapist about careers. I've been on the fence about many things for years. She said, to trust my gut. She gave me the example of herself, and how she came to be a counselor. She just knew, ultimately. My gut keeps pointing me to a vocational program in office technology. It sounds "boring," but this is something I want to do. . Plus, Its a need in my area, and pays well. It feels practical. I'm an artist, but I gotta pay the bills.

[Skeezyks]

Congratulations on achieving this insight, starrysky!

[Sunflower123]

That's great that you realize social work and helping others is not your cup of tea. Good luck with the office technology path. Best wishes.

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by starrysky

I'm not sure where to put this. But I am coming to terms with who I am as a person. I always wanted to be the kind of person who is altruistic and helps other people. Like, as a career. However. I'm coming to realize we all show up in this world differently, and experience life differently, and none of this is wrong or incorrect. I don't think I'm the kind of person who is good at social work or working with other people to help them. It overwhelms me. Sometimes it bores me. I'm uninterested. Stressed. Despite this, I know I am kind, caring, and a good person.

I can really relate to your experience. For years I wanted to work in healthcare. I enrolled in an allied health program, and soon realized I didn't have it in me to do that type of work. The program was boring, and all the the social interaction required of us students was overwhelming, so I ended up withdrawing. Nothing about it felt right.

Originally Posted by starrysky

I was talking to my therapist about careers. I've been on the fence about many things for years. She said, to trust my gut. She gave me the example of herself, and how she came to be a counselor. She just knew, ultimately. My gut keeps pointing me to a vocational program in office technology. It sounds "boring," but this is something I want to do. . Plus, Its a need in my area, and pays well. It feels practical. I'm an artist, but I gotta pay the bills.

Congratulations!

Finding my calling was a very liberating experience. I also just knew. It came without much effort, probably because I was being real with myself. All I did was try something I have always been interested in.

Do you feel a lot less confined?

[eskielover]

I can relate....back in the time of my life I was trying to decide the direction to go in for a career back in the 1970's, the only thing I was even half way good at was music. I actually got my AA degree in Music. Then I realized no way was a career in music going to ever pay for me to live & be independent. When I went on to get my BS degree I set out in a whole different direction. I changed majors as a junior to Accounting (with a focus on Information Systems) & Computer Science. Huge change but it turned out great & I kept my music as a hobby & enjoyed performing in chamber groups while I actually ended up in a computer design engineering career.

It is important to look at the future possibilities when deciding what to focus career goals on & always remember passions like art don't have to be let go of. Talents always stay with us no matter what career we actually chose.

Best wishes on the choices you are making

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

I can really relate to your experience. For years I wanted to work in healthcare. I enrolled in an allied health program, and soon realized I didn't have it in me to do that type of work. The program was boring, and all the the social interaction required of us students was overwhelming, so I ended up withdrawing. Nothing about it felt right.


Congratulations!

Finding my calling was a very liberating experience. I also just knew. It came without much effort, probably because I was being real with myself. All I did was try something I have always been interested in.

Do you feel a lot less confined?

Hi Little Didgee, I'm not sure if I ever really felt confined wanting to be a counselor / helper of some sort. I still think I want to help the world in some way. But I think I just feel good, about accepting who I really am and what really makes me tick. To be 100% honest, office work doesn't enthrall me like some other things do. But since I don't know how to turn those things (knitting, reading, exercising, for instance) into careers that I would like and be comfortable with, this feels like a good choice for me right now. I have been thinking about it for almost a year. It's a program that starts next year at a vocational school. And my plan, from now till then, is to volunteer, get a small part time job I can handle, and see if I can get financial aid to do it.

I'm glad you could relate to my story! What you shared made me feel validated even more in my thoughts (I doubt myself a lot, but it's something I'm working on changing, and just trusting myself more). So thank you.

Originally Posted by eskielover

I can relate....back in the time of my life I was trying to decide the direction to go in for a career back in the 1970's, the only thing I was even half way good at was music. I actually got my AA degree in Music. Then I realized no way was a career in music going to ever pay for me to live & be independent. When I went on to get my BS degree I set out in a whole different direction. I changed majors as a junior to Accounting (with a focus on Information Systems) & Computer Science. Huge change but it turned out great & I kept my music as a hobby & enjoyed performing in chamber groups while I actually ended up in a computer design engineering career.

It is important to look at the future possibilities when deciding what to focus career goals on & always remember passions like art don't have to be let go of. Talents always stay with us no matter what career we actually chose.

Best wishes on the choices you are making

Thanks EskieLover! That is inspiring to me to hear you say that you chose to go into a field that would be profitable for you (and sounds like you like it too). I used to hear all the time "do what you love. follow your passion." That *can* be good advice. But not always, I have found, in terms of finding a career. I say "listen to yourself and learn about the way things work. And accept yourself."

[MickeyCheeky]

I can relate.. and I'm SO proud of you!!

Thanks MickeyCheeky!!

Why not do both?

Start an Esty shop to sell your art for some side cash and get a job with office tech if that is what you really want to do.

It's better to have more than one source of income anyways in this day and age.

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

Why not do both?

Start an Esty shop to sell your art for some side cash and get a job with office tech if that is what you really want to do.

It's better to have more than one source of income anyways in this day and age.

That's a good idea. I have an etsy shop with nothing in it. I will eventually sell some things I've made. I want to write my memoir too.

Hey Starry, just wanted to say it sounds like you are making real progress with this very sensible decision - deciding what is not right for us is another step forward to what is right for us.

I can really relate - for years I volunteered in social care sector and loved it, colleagues ancouraged me to get a job in that sector and I tried and tried so hard, eventually I landed a job in that sector (charitable). You know the phrase "Be careful for what you wish for"? That was me. Worst of all I beat myself up because I thought I 'should' be a natural and love this career (I liked bits of it but not much), yet I felt overwhelmed, I thought that meant I was a failure.... Eventually with the support of my husband I left that job.

I went through the learning curve you are describing the hard way, and I put myself through a hard time over it. Yet now a year and a half on I can see it more clearly, what was so bad a fit for me in that job. I am so happy for you that you realise this before you went down that road.

I ended up doing another job which suits me better, it's a more 'productive' fast paced job, but I found out I love being on the go (sitting in an office is stressful for me which was a big part of my old job). I am so glad I had the courage to leave the old job and try something different, I'm not as well paid but I'm happier. And i still volunteer in the social care sector which is fine.

I think trying out a few different things, volunteering, maybe a part time job, any kind work experience is very valuable in understanding what fits us well.

It sounds like you are making great progress!

Hi Prefab I'm glad you can relate. I can relate to what you said too. I wouldn't say I didn't go down the path. I have tried many times. I just don't usually get as close as you did though I guess. I have volunteered in nursing homes, and I tried to volunteer as a hotline volunteer for a crisis line. But the idea of it overwhelmed me so I never actually went through the training. I do kind of feel like a "failure" too. Though, I know that that is not a compassionate thing to say about myself. And, I would tell YOU to not feel like a failure!

I really also want to explore working with my body and hands. I like moving around a lot too. I wasn't sure about posting my original post at first. Because it felt too soon to do so. I haven't even talked to my therapist about it yet. But, this is where I am right now. If it changes in the future, I'm sure that will be ok too.

Thanks for your encouragement and sharing you story with me.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by starrysky

I'm not sure where to put this. But I am coming to terms with who I am as a person. I always wanted to be the kind of person who is altruistic and helps other people. Like, as a career. However. I'm coming to realize we all show up in this world differently, and experience life differently, and none of this is wrong or incorrect. I don't think I'm the kind of person who is good at social work or working with other people to help them. It overwhelms me. Sometimes it bores me. I'm uninterested. Stressed. Despite this, I know I am kind, caring, and a good person.

I was talking to my therapist about careers. I've been on the fence about many things for years. She said, to trust my gut. She gave me the example of herself, and how she came to be a counselor. She just knew, ultimately. My gut keeps pointing me to a vocational program in office technology. It sounds "boring," but this is something I want to do. . Plus, Its a need in my area, and pays well. It feels practical. I'm an artist, but I gotta pay the bills.

I'm glad you're able to start accepting yourself!

Originally Posted by starrysky

Hi Prefab I'm glad you can relate. I can relate to what you said too. I wouldn't say I didn't go down the path. I have tried many times. I just don't usually get as close as you did though I guess. I have volunteered in nursing homes, and I tried to volunteer as a hotline volunteer for a crisis line. But the idea of it overwhelmed me so I never actually went through the training. I do kind of feel like a "failure" too. Though, I know that that is not a compassionate thing to say about myself. And, I would tell YOU to not feel like a failure!

I really also want to explore working with my body and hands. I like moving around a lot too. I wasn't sure about posting my original post at first. Because it felt too soon to do so. I haven't even talked to my therapist about it yet. But, this is where I am right now. If it changes in the future, I'm sure that will be ok too.

Thanks for your encouragement and sharing you story with me.

It's not failure for either of us because we tried something and discovered it was not right for us, ploughing on down a road not good for us would have been so much worse.

Crisis line work is extremely intensive, and not for everyone, I am glad you thought this through and know yourself well enough to understand that. I think there will be lots of ways you can help people in your every day life without being in a formal setting.

Accepting who we are is such a big part of well-being, I am so happy for you that you are developing that within yourself.