[emma4health]

At the start of the year I sold my TV, it was a breath of fresh air, I didn't realise how much the sound was effecting my moods.
My parter moved in a few months ago as we fell pregnant and he always has to be watching TV or his phone or playing games. The noises are becoming almost unbearable, I have asked him to use head phones or turn the sound off if he doesn't need it, but he doesn't do it. It is like he can't understand how it makes me feel. I don't know what to do at this point as it is triggering issues and he won't take me seriously, sometimes I want to smash the TV and phone.

[Trippin2.0]

I would smash it.

No way he can ignore you after that.

But that's just me....

So sorry you're being driven nuts in your own home.

Put the smack down. He should respect your sensitivities while in your presence regardless of his constant need for distraction. Mother of Christ.

[Sunflower123]

Have you tried ear plugs? The soft, spongy kind? I know it's not fair for you to come up with the solution but I'm thinking of your peace of mind. He's being insensitive. I hope you get some resolution (and some peace and quiet).

[Shazerac]

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

Put the smack down. He should respect your sensitivities while in your presence regardless of his constant need for distraction. Mother of Christ.

I agree with lefty. It's your home too!!!! Him disregarding your needs this early in your relationship is a bad habit to get into. Please stand up for yourself and get your needs met, do it NOW and do it often.

[MickeyCheeky]

Why doesn't he want to use headphones? I'm sorry he's not respecting you

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

Why doesn't he want to use headphones? I'm sorry he's not respecting you

I agree. My bf would put on his headphones when I had to work at home and needed to concentrate without noise. Yours should respect your needs.

[Shazerac]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

I would smash it.

No way he can ignore you after that.

But that's just me....

So sorry you're being driven nuts in your own home.

oh my god you made me laugh so hard. My husband had this habit of of sitting down when I was watching something on TV and just randomly channel surfing like I wasn't even there. I told him I thought it was rude but wasn't getting anywhere.

Finally one day I had enough, snatched the remote out his hand, walked out the front door and threw it out. Turns out I had a better throwing arm then I thought. It sailed out into the middle of the street and smashed to pieces

It kind of escalated and he grabbed my by the arm and insisted I go out and pick it up. I got triggered and told him to unhand me and if he EVER laid a hand on me in anger again that we would be in the speed lane to divorce court.

He went out and picked up the pieces. Being the stubborn man he is he super glued it back together and the damn thing still works. Now we have this Frankenstein remote. We could get a new one, but we keep it to remind ourselves that little things can get really annoying if not addressed.

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by Shazerac

oh my god you made me laugh so hard. My husband had this habit of of sitting down when I was watching something on TV and just randomly channel surfing like I wasn't even there. I told him I thought it was rude but wasn't getting anywhere.

Finally one day I had enough, snatched the remote out his hand, walked out the front door and threw it out. Turns out I had a better throwing arm then I thought. It sailed out into the middle of the street and smashed to pieces

It kind of escalated and he grabbed my by the arm and insisted I go out and pick it up. I got triggered and told him to unhand me and if he EVER laid a hand on me in anger again that we would be in the speed lane to divorce court.

He went out and picked up the pieces. Being the stubborn man he is he super glued it back together and the damn thing still works. Now we have this Frankenstein remote. We could get a new one, but we keep it to remind ourselves that little things can get really annoying if not addressed.

Frankenstein remote sounds like a good reminder.

Glad you got a laugh out of my post. ��

[possum220]

The noise of the TV and it's contents can be overwhelming affecting emotions and stress levels. There are some seriously good cordless head phones out there.

Have to wonder how your bf will cope with a baby in the house that may need a bit of quite to sleep.

Time for a sit down chat. Maybe it's a case of hiding the remotes and/or batteries. Is this the first time he has moved away from his Mom?

[Chyialee]

/\ What Possum said -- omg can you imagine how Inconvenient he'll likely find a newborn's need for calm & quiet? not to mention (lol, sry) his potential for frustration when babbykins cries & otherwise disrupts his 'watching habit' ? Ay yi yi

Had this exact issue years ago w/ex, including pregnancy (& then newborn, toddler, etc Added benefit (sarcasm/snark):I worked opposite shifts from him : 2330 to 0800 in a v busy hospital; and WHEN he worked he had day shifts. Bad enuff trying to sleep during daylight whilst the rest of the world is up and making construction/traffic/doorbell/general racket loudness, but ex-h was LOUD guy who needed a whole lot of attention; I'm an Aspie-lite who can't stand loud/bright/overwhelming emotions & noises. Yay. :/ Match made in WTF-land, for sure. sigh

Is your guy at all amenable to discussing the expectations each of you has? Not just for the relationship in general, but for day-to-day "This is What I Need In OrderTo Have A Manageable Life!" ?

Sometimes it helps to do it in written form, read each other's, and then wait a bit to discuss it. Keeps this a bit more thought-full, and less likely to become explosive, imo -- if that's an issue. Sometimes it's difficult to feel that we've a RIGHT to ask for what we need for our own health & peace.

Absolute Bottom LINE: You are entitled to feel safe* and respected in your own home.
* safe= including mentionally and emotionally secure from preventable (egregious) environmental triggers. IMO anyway.

Very best to you,

Chyia, BTDT and sincerely feel for you

P.S.Also -- lolol @ you, Tripp and Lefty -- you both, as always, rock.

[*Laurie*]

In my experience, babies will sleep through noise just fine.

BUT

As for your intolerance to noise, I really feel for you. What about getting him the headphones and handing them to him? HERE: Use these!

[emma4health]

Hey guys thanks for all your support
His not the insensitive type, I just don't think he quite understood how much it was effecting me, he ended up using head phones and it has been great!
Also he has two children to another lady and I have a daugher to another man, so we both fully understand how babys are.
As for quite time with the baby, with my daugher I made sure there was noise and now she sleep through anything.
I think I am starting to understand my partner takes a little longer to get the picture rather then insensitive haha! Maybe our communication needs to be worked on.
But I was very close... very close to smashing the TV haha!!