I went to therapy today and it helped me feel feelings in my heart, which I've been denying for some time due to my mind not liking it. People I left because they made me feel bad about myself.
And now I am sitting here confused about life, about people. About worrying about physical decay when I start feeling my head on pressure and occasionally see veins slightly popping. I also worry about my knee which has been hurting for some time (check-ups coming soon).
All those symptoms make me feel like I'm dying, especially my deep concerns about AD's I took when I was a teen. I have a whole thread about it.

I don't know what it is that I'm feeling. I think it's frustration. Frustration that I always fail because of me, yet I blame it on others at times because I am SO! sick of bearing responsibility.

I just want the head pressures to stop. I want to feel well on my own

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I hope you feel better soon. Sending big hugs.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

it's hard to open your heart, like you did today. Almost impossible, for some people. Well done for getting it out there. As you said, the heart and mind don't always seem to be on the same side. No wonder you feel like your head will explode.

Be gentle with yourself for the next few days.

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

it's hard to open your heart, like you did today. Almost impossible, for some people. Well done for getting it out there. As you said, the heart and mind don't always seem to be on the same side. No wonder you feel like your head will explode.

Be gentle with yourself for the next few days.

Could you elaborate on that? Any experiences with that?
I also have jet-lag from abroad. I slept for about 3 hours.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Yes, I've noticed a 'kick-back' from my mind after I've opened my heart to a therapist. I'd doubt myself about how bad my past was, whether I had 'worked myself up' into this state... things like that.

That's when I was younger. During my most recent therapy, it wasn't so much of a thing. You learn as you get older that, if you're talking about something and obsessing about it, yes, it is that bad.

[Shazerac]

I had a recent experience with my Pdoc where I shared an experience from my childhood. She visibly cringed. At first I was kind of shocked.

Later I got really angry and got the mother of all headaches. It felt like my eyeballs were going to pop out of my head.

Then I realized, yea, it really was that bad. I would cringe too if I heard about someone doing that to a child. Hell yea I was angry.

Dredging up stuff in therapy can cause all kinds of physical symptoms. Sometimes I even get explosive diarrhea. (TMI I know but wierd stuff happens)