[seeker1950]

I talked to my principal today and she promptly called the school board office to inquire about me taking unpaid family medical leave. Seems, as others have stated here, that I will have to use up all my sick leave/personal leave first, so I'm just taking sick leave. This solves the problem of discussing anything with Mom about using her funds, and is probably the best choice anyway. I have plenty of sick leave as I rarely miss work and have worked there for 20 years.
Thanks all of you for your insights and experience in this matter.
Love
Patty

[bebop]

Patty are you going to take it right away or wait a bit? how is your mom doing?

[seeker1950]

Be...
I am taking the rest of the week off to be here at home. I don't know yet about the next week. Mom can no longer walk and so she needs constant attention and moving to the wheelchair, but once she's up, she enjoys interacting.

When I was staying near her in the hospital, and helping and comforting her there, she asked, "How did you learn to be this way, Patty?" I answered, "It's my nature, Mom." Which is true, and much of the reason I've been taken advantage of, I suspect. I can only say now that it is a pleasure and a healing thing to do it for her.
Patty

[bebop]

Patty I am sure it is healing hon. I am happy for you on that.

[Islander]

seeker -

Your post hit my heart. I have been in the same postion with my own mother. I spent as much time with her as possible. I had her move in with me. Its a lot of work but I wouldn't change it for anything. Glad that you are taking time to be with her.

take care of yourself too

Islander

[seeker1950]

Thank you, Islander and Bebop!
You're both kindred spirits!
Love
Patty

[eskielover]

Guess that was one of the benefits of being on disability at the time my Mother was dying. I didn't have work to have to worry about. I did have my own responsibilitys at the time (my horse had been injured & needed daily care). I was running between the hospital & my horse every day for while until my Mother came home from the hospital...unanounced (they didn't tell me they were discharging her until I was told by the person who manulipated her way into caring for my Mother). I just couldn't take care of the physical stuff....I wasn't strong enough in the first place & never could handle cleaning up after my daughter when she was a baby......just wasn't something I could handle. Unfortunate because if I could have, maybe that horrible person wouldn't have been able to manupilate her way into the situation.

I know at the time my Mother came home from the hospital, no one even said she was terminal or how long she might have but I could see how bad she was & from that point, I never left her alone. Little did I know at that time, she only had about 1 month left. It is important to be able to have the time together with your Mother.....sick leave can always be built up again, but the time you have with your mother can't be recovered.

It is important to take time for yourself.....but I would not make that be time trying to work. You will need your own time to relax & unwind because the stress of even a week or two weeks of non-stop care is harmful to the anxiety level. You don't want to get yourself sick the way I did & end up not being able to be there for her. You are a caring person but don't forget to care for yourself so you can care for your Mother.

I hope your sister can come to relieve you to give you that time for yourself....but please don't feel trapped to bring in just anyone who might be willing to "help you out". Unless they are from a licensed, bonded nursing register or something equivalent....don't even let them into your house. There are people preying on situations like this, just waiting for the right time to jump in to "help". It's just after the experience I had, I am leary of letting anyone into my life (even if I or someone else knows them to be good people).

Above all else, enjoy the time you have with your Mom & let the rest fall into place (along with a lot of good common sense),
Debbie

[DocClyde]

(((Patty)))

I am sure she is so proud of you...I sure am...you are a very caring, and giving person!