[Betty_Banana]

I've always heard that when a person is drunk,usually when they're sloppy drunk,their true feelings come out.I'm not sure how true this is though.

I know I have had times I've said things and then the next day used the excuse that I was just drunk when confronted with something hurtful I said.And there's been times I've been upset at someone but accepted their excuse that they were just drunk.But that's the total opposite of what I've always heard,that when a person is drunk their true feelings come out,isn't it?

The reason I'm posting about this is I know someone that always says the same things while super drunk.Some pretty twisted scary things about how they want to harm people.They always give the same details of how they would do it too.Their excuse the next day is always they were just drunk.I'm not so sure about that though.If it was a one time thing it wouldn't bother me so much but since it's every time I finally told them I refuse to be around them anymore while they're drinking because it scares me and I worry they might actually do what they talk about.This person never talks like that while sober.And they're such a calm mellow person when sober that it's pretty shocking to hear the drunk talk,not just shocking to me but to anyone that's around them.

What do you think?Is drunk talk just drunk talk or true feelings?

I would be pretty alarmed at your acquaintance's behaviour.

Yes, many people do in fact show their true colours when significantly under the influence as they are unable to keep themselves in check. The fact that your friend apologises the following morning indicates they are aware what they are saying is unacceptable yet they still allow themselves to behave that way. I gather this is a frequent occurrence which is an indication they have a major problem. It is one thing to get that drunk a few times a year but regularly?

I think you are right to confront them about this and I admire you for the ability to set your limits. You might just have to abandon the relationship though based on what are apparently the fellow's ideas and values.

[Carmina]

I would argue that the true self, including one's 'true' feelings, are the summation of the whole person including one's capacity to make choices about what you do or say and why you do so, not just what you show when your control mechanism, capacity and reasoning are impaired by drugs or alcohol. To argue that you only see a person's 'true' feelings or self when the checks are off is reductionist and creates a highly skewed perception of selfhood - we are so much more than this.

re the friend, it sounds like this is an aspect of herself certainly, or at least certain inclinations, but in itself no truer a representation of who she really is than the aspects that maintain values and behaviour when her functioning and capacity are not impaired.

[Betty_Banana]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

The fact that your friend apologizes the following morning indicates they are aware what they are saying is unacceptable yet they still allow themselves to behave that way .

I'm glad you replied.I hadn't even thought about that.That's very true,they're obviously aware of what they're saying and that it's unacceptable since they apologize for it.It's not like they're blacking out and then I have to tell them what they said and then they apologize.

And it's not that they drink regularly because they really only drink during social gatherings a few times per year.It's that when there are gatherings and they drink too much they ruin the fun for everyone with the way they talk.The night ends early because who wants to be around or go out in public with someone saying those things.Even if they didn't act on it there would be problems if other people heard,fights would probably get started,etc.So if everyone comes to my house or we meet somewhere and make plans to go out somewhere and that crap starts coming out of their mouth everyone leaves or decides to just stay put at my house instead.

I was making plans for a fun night recently and a person said they will get together but not if this person is going to be drinking.

[Betty_Banana]

Originally Posted by Carmina

I would argue that the true self, including one's 'true' feelings, are the summation of the whole person including one's capacity to make choices about what you do or say and why you do so, not just what you show when your control mechanism, capacity and reasoning are impaired by drugs or alcohol. To argue that you only see a person's 'true' feelings or self when the checks are off is reductionist and creates a highly skewed perception of selfhood - we are so much more than this.

re the friend, it sounds like this is an aspect of herself certainly, or at least certain inclinations, but in itself no truer a representation of who she really is than the aspects that maintain values and behaviour when her functioning and capacity are not impaired.

Thanks for that.

[VernonJenkins]

Alcohol is known to lower inhibition in people and effect their judgment, so sometimes they will say and do things that they otherwise wouldn't had they been sober. They may be more willing to share thoughts and feelings that they would normally keep to themselves, and they may have thoughts and feelings about things that they otherwise wouldn't due to the effect of alcohol on perception and judgment.

I hope that helps.

[Shazerac]

Alcohol lowers inhibitions and people tend to say things they would not share when sober. That doesn’t mean they don’t think then when they are sober.

This person sounds like a deeply disturbed person to me. I wouldn’t have anything to do with them even when they are sober.

[ReptileInYourHead]

While wasted, we often do things we would normally not choose to do, does that mean we secretly wanted to do them sober but were too scared? Like streaking for example. Do some people actually harbour the desire to run naked in public? (Again, I don’t know) Can alchohol put something into our heads that isn’t there?
I have no answers, just more questions...sorry.

The Romans said "In vino veritas", but things went sideways for them in the 5th century.

[MoxieDoxie]

Alcohol makes your filter come off! Therapy put my filter back on Alcohol takes it off. I stay away from alcohol now.

[Betty_Banana]

Originally Posted by ReptileInYourHead

While wasted, we often do things we would normally not choose to do, does that mean we secretly wanted to do them sober but were too scared? Like streaking for example. Do some people actually harbour the desire to run naked in public? (Again, I don’t know) Can alchohol put something into our heads that isn’t there?
I have no answers, just more questions...sorry.

Your reply made me laugh.I have wanted to go streaking while drunk.I don't actually want to run naked in public though.

I think I am just going to consider it's the alcohol that's talking when this person is drunk and not take their words so serious.I wouldn't want anyone to take my drunken words to heart,sometimes I can say some pretty out there things.