I used to love reading novels and reading in general ..
Since I had a mental melt down 4 years ago I just don’t have the concentration to read. I read a paragraph and then feel I just can’t read anymore. I’m nit sure what it is.
I mostly can’t read really long posts on this forum either, I’m fine with the short ones but the longer ones I just can’t keep the information in ...
I try with some, although find I’m exhausted afterwards..
It seems the melt down has affected the processing of some things maybe

I have had a similar experience. Ever since I had insight in my mental health (day 1 since I was referred to a psychiatrist, but I won't go in details for the sake of brevity) I stopped topping my classes. I came from a 90 percent student to a 'barely pass the class' student.


It could be psychological if it's related to memory and concentration. Not necessarily psychiatric where brain malfunction is observed.

- Did you experience significant trauma as a child? I did, I was emotionally neglected, frequently beaten, scared, mocked, witnessed fights between parents and what not. It led me to have a continuous amnesia (self-diagnosis.) Then it could be dissociation.

- Have you talked to your psychiatrist/psychologist about this? He may be the only person that can help you.

[eskielover]

I also found that stress blocks retention. I have seemed to observe this in myself. Throughout school & my degree & had a hard time retaining what I read & I had no MH issues until 42. Breakdown from too much stress. Meds, bad reactioms, I didn't bother trying to read or retain.

Fast forward 13 years & I left that environment (& my marriage) & moved to a farm I bought 2100 miles away. For some reason I thought joining the library monthly book club would be a good thing. I actually SHOCKED myself. I read the book & retained what I read....& continued to do this & have continued to be able to read & retain since then.

I had problems retaining with or without meds so that wasn't a cause...11 years later, I am in a stressful situation (finally financially able to get a divorce from the H) I am finding it more difficult to focus again. The common denominator is stress in my life seems to be key in my concentration.

This was an eye opener because I had this problem growing up, indicating just how mych stress I felt with my parents & went right into a marriage with a H who just continued actually very similar stress as my parents. Freedom from major stress & fighting for everything seems for me to be a huge key in my memory ability. I hate reading the same paragraph over & over & not remembering what I read. I still excelled because I wrote down the important things or highlighted in my computer engineering career so I could only focus on those things but it was so much more work...determination to succeed was the driving force during those years.

Originally Posted by eskielover

I also found that stress blocks retention. I have seemed to observe this in myself. Throughout school & my degree & had a hard time retaining what I read & I had no MH issues until 42. Breakdown from too much stress. Meds, bad reactioms, I didn't bother trying to read or retain.

Fast forward 13 years & I left that environment (& my marriage) & moved to a farm I bought 2100 miles away. For some reason I thought joining the library monthly book club would be a good thing. I actually SHOCKED myself. I read the book & retained what I read....& continued to do this & have continued to be able to read & retain since then.

I had problems retaining with or without meds so that wasn't a cause...11 years later, I am in a stressful situation (finally financially able to get a divorce from the H) I am finding it more difficult to focus again. The common denominator is stress in my life seems to be key in my concentration.

This was an eye opener because I had this problem growing up, indicating just how mych stress I felt with my parents & went right into a marriage with a H who just continued actually very similar stress as my parents. Freedom from major stress & fighting for everything seems for me to be a huge key in my memory ability. I hate reading the same paragraph over & over & not remembering what I read. I still excelled because I wrote down the important things or highlighted in my computer engineering career so I could only focus on those things but it was so much more work...determination to succeed was the driving force during those years.

I am in immense stress and I forget what I read very easily. Do you think I can have a recovery if I get away from the environment around me?

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

I have had a similar experience. Ever since I had insight in my mental health (day 1 since I was referred to a psychiatrist, but I won't go in details for the sake of brevity) I stopped topping my classes. I came from a 90 percent student to a 'barely pass the class' student.


It could be psychological if it's related to memory and concentration. Not necessarily psychiatric where brain malfunction is observed.

- Did you experience significant trauma as a child? I did, I was emotionally neglected, frequently beaten, scared, mocked, witnessed fights between parents and what not. It led me to have a continuous amnesia (self-diagnosis.) Then it could be dissociation.

- Have you talked to your psychiatrist/psychologist about this? He may be the only person that can help you.

Hi the lonely chemist. Thank you for replying.

Yes I did experience trauma as a child, neglect and emotional.
I am having therapy with a psychologist , I did mention it and he seems to think I should keep trying as it’s like retraining to do these things...it’s so exhausting though. I do also experience disociative times.
Sorry you struggle with it too.
Best wishes 🌺

Originally Posted by eskielover

I also found that stress blocks retention. I have seemed to observe this in myself. Throughout school & my degree & had a hard time retaining what I read & I had no MH issues until 42. Breakdown from too much stress. Meds, bad reactioms, I didn't bother trying to read or retain.

Fast forward 13 years & I left that environment (& my marriage) & moved to a farm I bought 2100 miles away. For some reason I thought joining the library monthly book club would be a good thing. I actually SHOCKED myself. I read the book & retained what I read....& continued to do this & have continued to be able to read & retain since then.

I had problems retaining with or without meds so that wasn't a cause...11 years later, I am in a stressful situation (finally financially able to get a divorce from the H) I am finding it more difficult to focus again. The common denominator is stress in my life seems to be key in my concentration.

This was an eye opener because I had this problem growing up, indicating just how mych stress I felt with my parents & went right into a marriage with a H who just continued actually very similar stress as my parents. Freedom from major stress & fighting for everything seems for me to be a huge key in my memory ability. I hate reading the same paragraph over & over & not remembering what I read. I still excelled because I wrote down the important things or highlighted in my computer engineering career so I could only focus on those things but it was so much more work...determination to succeed was the driving force during those years.

Yes, so much of what you say resonates with me too..
I had the problem growing up too at times. I had to work so hard to achieve..but I managed it...
It has gotten worse now I’m older I feel.
Appreciate your reply !
Thank you 🌺

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

I am in immense stress and I forget what I read very easily. Do you think I can have a recovery if I get away from the environment around me?

In my opinion we possibly all need different things to help with recovery/healing. What works for one may need something different or slightly different for another...

I have experienced feeling a bit better if I go for coffee out of my area, as I struggle with social anxiety I think this is because there is less risk of seeing anyone I may know and may wish to speak to me..so I feel a bit more relaxed.
I can feel much relieved when I’m away but it doesn’t help me unfortunately with my reading, not as far as I’ve noticed.
Try things out is the best way, maybe see how you are in a few days away somewhere peaceful , I guess it depends we’re our minds are at, sometimes I can’t rid myself of ruminating even if I go away...because some things follow me...it’s a work in progress,,😩

I am the same.

loved reading growing up, but now... can't do it- and it's ashame, because their are so many things I'd like to read. so many things out their I am missing out on too- book wise

I have tried audio books- but I find myself just fiddling with the volume switch until my hands are tired, and I have to turn it off

actually a lot of it for me I think comes from the fact I can't relax

reading is a relaxing activity, right?. you sit their and look at a book

that's why I struggle.. because I can't relax

and my memories gone to shot

I can read a paragraph from a book then forget what it said

Originally Posted by raging vortex

I am the same.

loved reading growing up, but now... can't do it- and it's ashame, because their are so many things I'd like to read. so many things out their I am missing out on too- book wise

I have tried audio books- but I find myself just fiddling with the volume switch until my hands are tired, and I have to turn it off

Yes me too, I tried audio books , and same, they didn’t work for me either. I just kept forgetting what had been said after a while. I only seem to be able to retain a few minutes worth of stuff..I hate it..
I kinda stopped giving myself a hard time over forgetting names and the usual stuff as I used to get sick of myself...but the reading is a shame I agree, can’t read all my lovely romantic novels by Danielle Steel I used to adore 😩
My psychologist seems to think keep trying it’s a retraining issue, and it can come back...something to do with the cognitive side of the brain, by the time she got to that bit I’d lost her, and couldn’t concentrate ..I find it sooooo exhausting.. sorry you struggle too 🌺

Originally Posted by raging vortex

actually a lot of it for me I think comes from the fact I can't relax

reading is a relaxing activity, right?. you sit their and look at a book

that's why I struggle.. because I can't relax

and my memories gone to shot

I can read a paragraph from a book then forget what it said

Yep I can forget a paragraph within seconds too...
😩 x

Red daisy, you're such a sweet person and I feel terrible because this happened to you! I hope you get better. Based on your diagnosis of social anxiety, I think it's stress-related and should go away when you're not so stressed! Again, take care. Thanks for caring for me.

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

Red daisy, you're such a sweet person and I feel terrible because this happened to you! I hope you get better. Based on your diagnosis of social anxiety, I think it's stress-related and should go away when you're not so stressed! Again, take care. Thanks for caring for me.

Thank you so much the lonely chemist.
That’s so very kind of you.
I too am sorry for your struggles.
I’m glad we can come here and feel we aren’t alone in our struggles.

I hope we all heal and have peace, we deserve to x

You know... with my amnesia... I am aiming to become a doctor... not the wisest move I know but it gives me hope...

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

You know... with my amnesia... I am aiming to become a doctor... not the wisest move I know but it gives me hope...

Good for you and why not.
We know it’s harder for us to achieve but we can do it.
I’d love to know how you get on and follow your progress in this. The ups and the downs of it all, as we know there will be both....

I hope that's not impossible, because medicine relies heavily on memory. Of course I can achieve it, I know, I am unique and brilliant... I will keep the community updated if I get accepted in med school! Ha, the first thing I will do after getting admission is post here as a success story.

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

I hope that's not impossible, because medicine relies heavily on memory. Of course I can achieve it, I know, I am unique and brilliant... I will keep the community updated if I get accepted in med school! Ha, the first thing I will do after getting admission is post here as a success story.

Yes understand, do keep us informed would be lovely to hear !
good wishes

Originally Posted by Red daisy

Yes me too, I tried audio books , and same, they didn’t work for me either. I just kept forgetting what had been said after a while. I only seem to be able to retain a few minutes worth of stuff..I hate it..
I kinda stopped giving myself a hard time over forgetting names and the usual stuff as I used to get sick of myself...but the reading is a shame I agree, can’t read all my lovely romantic novels by Danielle Steel I used to adore 😩
My psychologist seems to think keep trying it’s a retraining issue, and it can come back...something to do with the cognitive side of the brain, by the time she got to that bit I’d lost her, and couldn’t concentrate ..I find it sooooo exhausting.. sorry you struggle too 🌺

I actually love daniele steel, the long road home and star are my favorites!.

their's also one she wrote about the mother who needed to look after her special needs boy after the fire, and she went to meet a movie star... I can't think of the name of that one though.

I actually had an email from her- after I wrote to her expressing how much I liked the long road home. lovely woman.

sadly for me, it's spreading in to other areas of enjoyment now.

I want to, for example, watch the movie Moana, about the hawaiian girl who saves her island

but by the time I've got past the opening credits, I've forgotten what's happened

Originally Posted by raging vortex

I actually love daniele steel, the long road home and star are my favorites!.

their's also one she wrote about the mother who needed to look after her special needs boy after the fire, and she went to meet a movie star... I can't think of the name of that one though.

I actually had an email from her- after I wrote to her expressing how much I liked the long road home. lovely woman.

sadly for me, it's spreading in to other areas of enjoyment now.

I want to, for example, watch the movie Moana, about the hawaiian girl who saves her island

but by the time I've got past the opening credits, I've forgotten what's happened

Oh no...not movies too!
Mind you, thinking about it I can get like this with movies or tv , it has to hold my attention and be something that holds my attention then I’m ok...movies can give so much peace when watching one we like too...

Yes I love Danielle Steel I used to feel so sad when I finished her books as I’d be lost in that world of romance and drama....hoe lovely she replied to you.
I’ve not read one of her books for around 4years 😔 used to adore them.

Hooe we improve, I believe we can but it’s difficult
Your not alone RV...
x

Add my name to the former avid reader club. I also really miss reading, but like others have said, my ability to concentrate is just gone.

Originally Posted by Tortie

Add my name to the former avid reader club. I also really miss reading, but like others have said, my ability to concentrate is just gone.

Hi Tortie,
Seems there are a few of us

🌺

I'm not sure how old you are, Red Daisy, but from what I've been learning about trauma, the unprocessed stuff really starts to hit the fan in our forties.

Originally Posted by Red daisy

Oh no...not movies too!
Mind you, thinking about it I can get like this with movies or tv , it has to hold my attention and be something that holds my attention then I’m ok...movies can give so much peace when watching one we like too...

Yes I love Danielle Steel I used to feel so sad when I finished her books as I’d be lost in that world of romance and drama....hoe lovely she replied to you.
I’ve not read one of her books for around 4years 😔 used to adore them.

Hooe we improve, I believe we can but it’s difficult
Your not alone RV...
x

I hope so.

I don't get out much because of my agoraphobia, and I'm in real danger of losing all my interests- because my memory has gone to shot

even word games... I used to love those

now I need to look at the rules 50 times and I still struggle

Originally Posted by raging vortex

I hope so.

I don't get out much because of my agoraphobia, and I'm in real danger of losing all my interests- because my memory has gone to shot

even word games... I used to love those

now I need to look at the rules 50 times and I still struggle

Sending good wishes and hoping we can both heal as time goes by

[marvin_pa]

Originally Posted by eskielover

I also found that stress blocks retention. I have seemed to observe this in myself. Throughout school & my degree & had a hard time retaining what I read & I had no MH issues until 42. Breakdown from too much stress. Meds, bad reactioms, I didn't bother trying to read or retain.

Fast forward 13 years & I left that environment (& my marriage) & moved to a farm I bought 2100 miles away. For some reason I thought joining the library monthly book club would be a good thing. I actually SHOCKED myself. I read the book & retained what I read....& continued to do this & have continued to be able to read & retain since then.

I had problems retaining with or without meds so that wasn't a cause...11 years later, I am in a stressful situation (finally financially able to get a divorce from the H) I am finding it more difficult to focus again. The common denominator is stress in my life seems to be key in my concentration.

This was an eye opener because I had this problem growing up, indicating just how mych stress I felt with my parents & went right into a marriage with a H who just continued actually very similar stress as my parents. Freedom from major stress & fighting for everything seems for me to be a huge key in my memory ability. I hate reading the same paragraph over & over & not remembering what I read. I still excelled because I wrote down the important things or highlighted in my computer engineering career so I could only focus on those things but it was so much more work...determination to succeed was the driving force during those years.

I absolutely concur with this - stress can both affect memory retention and recall, as well as make concentration difficult.

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

I am in immense stress and I forget what I read very easily. Do you think I can have a recovery if I get away from the environment around me?

For me at least, these affects can also be cumulative & whilst finding a lower stress state does seem to allow recovery, the longer time & higher degrees to which I allow myself to be exposed to stress, also take longer periods of de-stress to recover from.