[seeker1950]

I've been exhausted, caring for Mom 24/7, and today I put her in her recliner, thinking she was secure, and I went to my room for a nap. I woke up to hear her calling to me, and she was on the floor! I had to call 911, who came and took her to the nearest hospital. She has a broken hip and is in great pain. I shouldn't have fallen asleep! I stayed with her till they situated her in her room and were working with her for some kind of traction. Hospice told me to go home and get some sleep. I hate that this happened.
Patty

[bebop]

hon don't beat yourself up. you can't stay awake 24/7. please try to get some rest and take care of yourself while she is in the hospital. I know you are feeling guilty but hon you just can't. ((((hugs))))

[Rhapsody]

<font color="purple"> ((((((( HUGS )))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))) </font>

I'm sorry this happened to your mom - I know you must be worried, but please do as the nurses suggested and get some well deserved rest tonight before you place your own self in the hospital.

and.......... NO, this is not your fault - I Promise.

[seeker1950]

Thanks to both of you, dear friends.
I am going to try to get some rest and go back to the hospital in the morning. This is going to add to her pain greatly, and I had to insist that they give her some stronger pain med while in the ER. They were not going to do this after the doctor on call left with just her regular pain med, but when I requested they call her regular physician, they jumped to action. He must have some clout! Anyway...I've done all I could for this evening.
Love
Patty

[Rhapsody]

I will PRAY for a PEACEFUL night REST for YOU and your MOTHER.......... <font color="purple"> ((( hugs ))) </font>

[SeptemberMorn]

Seeker, I'm so sorry this has happened! Please know that although she is very ill, your mother, unless the cancer has gone to her brain, is still responsible for her actions.

You can't be with her and awake 24/7. Maybe a gentle restrain will be needed when she gets over this.

"I've done all I could for this evening."

Yes! You have! Now do some serious self-care while you have the chance. Tell Guilt to take a hike. You don't have time for it.

Take care, friend.

[seeker1950]

Well, yes, September, she kept insisting on having her walker nearby, but she can't walk at all without me holding her up, and only at certain times. Most of the time, we use her wheelchair. Her bones are so fragile, I've even worried about holding her up while she's on the walker.
Thanks to you and Rhapsody.
Patty

[sabby]

(((((((((((((( Patty & Mom )))))))))))))))

I'm so very sorry for what happened hon. I completely understand how you feel, but I certainly hope you know you did nothing wrong. I hope your mom is comfortable now, I'm sure they will do their best at the hospital to keep her comfy.

Maybe this is a blessing in disguise for you so that you can have a bit of time for YOU. I know running to the hospital is a pain, but now the nurses and staff that get paid to care for people are there to give you a much deserved break. I hope that doesn't sound bad to you.....I don't mean it badly. I too wish your mom didn't have to go through this or you either.

I'm only a pm away if you need me. Please get some rest hon.


sabby

[Christina86]

((((((((((((((Patty & Mom)))))))))))))))

Not you fault, not at all. Self-care first, to take care of anyone else.

I'm sorry this happened.

[LMo]

Oh no, Patty - I'm so sorry. I hope she's not in too much pain. Please don't blame yourself - you are doing everything you can.

((( Seeker )))

[Perna]

Do not blame yourself!

My stepmother was in the assisted living home, with a push-for-help button around her neck and got up in the night and broke her collarbone/shoulder and laid in her room's bathroom several hours before they found her (she didn't push the button) and the hospital couldn't fix it because her bones were too brittle (osteoporosis) and would have just crumbled if they'd tried to put pins in, etc.

When she was caring for her own mother, my stepmother learned from a doctor friend how to hold her mother's arm most effectively when walking with her. My stepmother was worried about her mother falling. Her doctor taught her the best method to hold her but explained that there was no way to catch/keep an older person from falling if it was going to happen; it happens too fast and it is just physically impossible for someone else to get in position to "catch" another.

{{{Seeker}}}

[wickedwings]

perna is right. this exactly the same thing that the doc told us about how to keep my grandpa from falling, too.

so sorry you're goin through this, seeker. it was not your fault. really. take care of yourself. ((((hugs to you))))

[seeker1950]

Thanks all of you dear friends. You are showing me the compassion and feedback I need right now.
I've spent 12 hours in the hospital with Mom and she is suffering in pain greatly, but after the doctors visited this evening, they started giving her the attention she needed with a pain pump IV and other things to pump her stomach. She was spewing brown vile stuff. It's horrible to witness this suffering, but I finally just had to come home.
Patty

[okiedokie]

Take care of yourself, Patty. Your mom is very lucky to have you.
Best,
Okie

[(JD)]

I agree with not blaming yourself!

Quite often the hip breaks first, and that causes the fall. As elderly become frail, it's eventual for some to have weakened bones, and the hips are often a big result of that. I doubt there was anything you or she could have done about this, no matter whether you were sleeping or not.



I hope she feels better soon...and that you get your rest!

[ECHOES]

I hope you and your mom are feeling better! You were doing the right thing when your mom broke her hip. You were taking good care of you, napping to make sure you got the rest you need so you can take good care of your mom.

Oh dear Patty-- I'm so sorry this happened to your mom and to you.

Please remember that you are doing your best-- you're doing all you can do.
My heart is with you and your mom

mandy