[randomer123]

I get annoyed how most people think the most important thing about people is their job. Or more to the point, that they have a job. It seems to be the main thing people grade other people on. They think that if you are unemployed (like I am) then the only thing you should care about is getting a job. Even though in my case I'm not in the right mental state to work (mostly sleep deprivation caused by noise). I am trying to fix the other things that might have more control over though, but it's taking a while. These things don't just happen overnight. I can't just flick a switch and change.

Apparently I should be spending all of my time and energy on jobsearch. I don't, I spend most of my time on:
1) Things I need to do (eating, housework, bath, sleeping when it's quiet enough at night
2) self help things (trying to work out my problems and how to fix them, writing about things)
3) relaxing so I don't get really stressed like I have in the past, because then I can't do anything

I probably only spend about half an hour a day on jobsearch (less on sundays and bank holidays because there is nothing on the sites then, or very little, and just enough to keep the jobcentre happy). I don't put much effort into it because I know it will be a waste of time (both mine and the employers), nobody wants someone in this state. And I have more important things to do, like trying to get myself into an employable state.

There is really no point in trying to hard to get a job until I've done something and improved, and I feel that is more important, not just for getting a job but everything else too. I have made a lot of improvement over the last few years and now there are still a few things to sort out and I'm working on them, or trying to.

I'm just sick of being brought down by people telling me I should always be jobsearching and "getting a job" instead of whatever I'm doing. They also make it sound so easy like I can just get a job, like its my choice, not that the employer has to choose me for the job.

[MickeyCheeky]

I hear your struggles. There's a lot of pressure about getting a job especially if you're young (from your parents, for example). However, having a job is still a necessity for most people, so we can't really escape it. It's good that you're taking care of yourself, as that's really important, but I think you can do both things (self-care and job search) and manage it alright.

[IceCreamKid]

Sounds to me like your reply to all these 'well-meaning' folks is: "I'm working on it."

[venusss]

Well, but how do you eat and take care of yourself without money?


Jobs are important, cause well... it's impossible to live in this society without money. You cannot go hunting and gathering for your food and live in self-made shelter in most parts of the world.


You could for start get a part time job, something not to stressful... not sure how in your part of the world, but where I live... it's quite easy to get job and lots of employers cannot be too picky about whom they employ actually. You could consult this at job center - maybe some work from home, or whatnot. Last thing you want is burn through all your savings "trying to get yourself better" and then fall apart from stress of being broke.

[stewartmays1]

i hear you im in the same boat i have been out of work for 17 years now you just kinda switch of and do what ever comes to mind but in the end finding work is important because life out of work just sucks for most people

[Medusax]

Originally Posted by stewartmays1

i hear you im in the same boat i have been out of work for 17 years now you just kinda switch of and do what ever comes to mind but in the end finding work is important because life out of work just sucks for most people

Ok this question is TOTALLY non-judgemental...(even though I have always been a workaholic) How do you live? Also, in the position I am in, I would love to meet someone who would simply be around the house in a roommate capacity watching things while I worked as we have just lost ours. (Of course, finding a fit would be hard) Do you know any people like that? You may be pleasantly surprised how useful you could be to someone....

Originally Posted by randomer123

I get annoyed how most people think the most important thing about people is their job. Or more to the point, that they have a job. It seems to be the main thing people grade other people on. They think that if you are unemployed (like I am) then the only thing you should care about is getting a job. Even though in my case I'm not in the right mental state to work (mostly sleep deprivation caused by noise). I am trying to fix the other things that might have more control over though, but it's taking a while. These things don't just happen overnight. I can't just flick a switch and change.

Apparently I should be spending all of my time and energy on jobsearch. I don't, I spend most of my time on:
1) Things I need to do (eating, housework, bath, sleeping when it's quiet enough at night
2) self help things (trying to work out my problems and how to fix them, writing about things)
3) relaxing so I don't get really stressed like I have in the past, because then I can't do anything

I probably only spend about half an hour a day on jobsearch (less on sundays and bank holidays because there is nothing on the sites then, or very little, and just enough to keep the jobcentre happy). I don't put much effort into it because I know it will be a waste of time (both mine and the employers), nobody wants someone in this state. And I have more important things to do, like trying to get myself into an employable state.

There is really no point in trying to hard to get a job until I've done something and improved, and I feel that is more important, not just for getting a job but everything else too. I have made a lot of improvement over the last few years and now there are still a few things to sort out and I'm working on them, or trying to.

I'm just sick of being brought down by people telling me I should always be jobsearching and "getting a job" instead of whatever I'm doing. They also make it sound so easy like I can just get a job, like its my choice, not that the employer has to choose me for the job.

This is a fantastic post and I completely agree. I don't know where you're from, but if it's the US, like me, society is highly production centered and status centered around jobs. The first question in getting to know someone, for instance: "so what do you do (for a job)?" Being a person on disability, I've come to see this a lot, and it is a pain in the ***. This is a very ableist society, as well (looks down on disabilities and is not built for people with disabilities). It has gotten me down too, very much so in the recent past, and I am just beginning to remember, the problem is not me, in this regard. It is the world we live in. I'm sorry the stigma of unemployment (understandably) has you down tonight. There are other people who know the truth, and fight for the truth, I hope you know. Ending unemployment stigma may be my cause. Hang in there.

[randomer123]

I am on "jobseekers allowance" which gives just enough to eat and pay bills, but they do punish you quite harshly for being unemployed. It's supposed to be temporary, and I was hoping/assuming it would be, but I am constantly rejected from every job apply from. They are actually very fussy from what I have seen. So here I am 13 years later still stuck on it and going nowhere.

In fact the abuse I've gotten from them over those years has probably beaten me down further than I already was. If they actually found out what your problems are and helped you to do something about it I might have become employable by now.

Since I am sleep deprived from the noise upstairs, I look terrible, apparantly sleep deprived people look the same as drug addicts and it's hard to tell. So when I go to an interview, they obviously take one look at me and say "no". Also I talk slow and sometimes forget halfway through a sentence. Its also hard to pay attention and focus when so tired. Nobody wants to employ someone like this (I don't even think I would want to), because it's obvious that I won't be able to do the job properly, any job. Housework is hard enough!

All I want is to be left alone for a few weeks/months, try to get help for my problems (obviously none of that from the job centre). I know I can never fix the sleep deprivation because that's out of my control but other people can function on a less than healthy amount of sleep, so there must be a way. And maybe my other problems are draining me. But I'm always forced to just "get a job" which as I have already proved, is impossible.

[stewartmays1]

Originally Posted by randomer123

I am on "jobseekers allowance" which gives just enough to eat and pay bills, but they do punish you quite harshly for being unemployed. It's supposed to be temporary, and I was hoping/assuming it would be, but I am constantly rejected from every job apply from. They are actually very fussy from what I have seen. So here I am 13 years later still stuck on it and going nowhere.

In fact the abuse I've gotten from them over those years has probably beaten me down further than I already was. If they actually found out what your problems are and helped you to do something about it I might have become employable by now.

Since I am sleep deprived from the noise upstairs, I look terrible, apparantly sleep deprived people look the same as drug addicts and it's hard to tell. So when I go to an interview, they obviously take one look at me and say "no". Also I talk slow and sometimes forget halfway through a sentence. Its also hard to pay attention and focus when so tired. Nobody wants to employ someone like this (I don't even think I would want to), because it's obvious that I won't be able to do the job properly, any job. Housework is hard enough!

All I want is to be left alone for a few weeks/months, try to get help for my problems (obviously none of that from the job centre). I know I can never fix the sleep deprivation because that's out of my control but other people can function on a less than healthy amount of sleep, so there must be a way. And maybe my other problems are draining me. But I'm always forced to just "get a job" which as I have already proved, is impossible.

yeah i was on jobseekers for years it was hell tbh now im on esa and it still sucks cos im home alone all day so you cant win

I hear you on the jobseekers, particularly as everyone working in job centre is judgemental