[Fuzzybear]

How do you decide if other online people are making progress? Does it bother you if you think they aren't?

Or do you focus on your own stuff and "ignore" the irritations in life

[katheryn]

i do focus on my own stuff but i try to offer help if i can i dont think i help ppl to much but sometimes a word here or there showing we care can help go along way i hope ppl here are making progress in there own way even if we do not see it all the time

[SeptemberMorn]

Most of the time, I focus just on my own stuff, but there are those who obviously and painfully, don't make much progress.

Remember, YOU can't change people. All you can do is change yourself and along with that, your preceptions. If a "stuck" person has enough of being stuck, they'll find a way to improve their situation. It has to be in their own timing, though.

[nowheretorun]

generally i dont evaluate an individuals progress, thats (imo) best measured by themselves or their professional support team...

if you're asking how i would inter-relate with them if i believed they were'nt making progress, then i'd say i just allow them to work at their own pace..

but, in a setting such as this at PC.. if there were those who i felt were not making progress and were here only for purposes of disruption, id say its hard to support such a person...

the issues of sensitivities really come into play here... as in real life, i dont think its my place to judge others... ive learned that the really non-supportive types are chased off by the pack... in which case, i allow it take place without interference..

but, if the pack turned on one who hadnt exhibited harmfulness to others, then, i'd want to pull that member to safety however i could...

i see this forum (perhaps incorrectly) as a space where we all attempt to grow...

possibly in a delusion, i see this place as a test tube example of my world, Earth i mean...

i suspect insanity is a reaction to percieved reality...

i've called chicken little more than once (the sky is falling) ... and if i believe the news reports, it seems more and more a reality...

so, does it bother me that some choose not to progress? not especially, what i'm more focused on is those who are attempting to adapt to this place we all share...

to make connections and learn while i still can...

[Perna]

I don't know much of what goes on with other people day-to-day, what their actual problems are, etc. so I try not to do a whole lot of speculating on how they're doing, just take their word for it (or their participation, etc.) as it has to do with themselves and their world, not mine.

[eskielover]

Fuzzy,

I think that determining others progress isn't really possible over the internet. We only get little glimpses of where they are by the words they choose to write & from that, it's hard to get a true picture of where some people are.

I am having a problem even dealing with progress (or lack or progress) with my husband. Contradictions all over the place & even with what I get from my psychologist who is also working with my husband. What he sees & the words that come out of my husbands mouth are a huge contradiction. Then I look at actions because I truely believe that actions speak louder than words (which is why I don't believe that the true place a person is can always be told over the internet unless they are wonderful at expressing themselves in the written word).

Now how I am dealing with lack of progress in the real world isn't good. My frustration level is so high when placed on top of everything I am personally going through that It is making me feel really sick. That feeling is something only I can control & I have to figure out how to control that internally before I ever let it mess me up any more that it is right now & than I have to let go.....that isn't easy when it's with a person you have been with for 32 years......

But letting go of people who refuse to make progress & the changes necessary for our own well being is the key point to our well being.

It isn't easy to let go....& I'm not doing a very good job even though I know that is what I need to do for my own mental & physical health,
Debbie

[1oxbowgirl]

I think for the most part you cannot judge anothers progress unless you know them in person. So instead of trying to figure someone elses progress, I try to be supportive and maybe try to learn more about their type of mental illness so that whatever I say to them will help and not hurt. But, yes to the question if it bothers me if someone is backsliding and not progressing, but only because I care about them and I am limited in what I can do to help.
I have focused quite a bit on myself, in one area of my life, but I do best when I help others while trying to help myself.

[I_WMD]

Fuzzy >>> fate has this cruel prank it likes to play on me .

I described it to Selfy as the Silver platter...Set it in front of me long enough......Let me study it . See how long it stays shiny and clean ,,, Then wait.

If after awhile that plattter collects dust,,,And you can see it is not silver at all ,,, just shiny paint.

I tend to kick it away. And everything and everyone connected to it . I become extremely hard headed. .

So to get back to the original inquiry.

My thoughts are that yes people make progress,, and then life steps in and our old ways of reacting tend to show through the facade.

I for one would like to further learn better coping skills .. Think before you leap, And how can you offset the big picture and not only see the forest for the trees.

[_Hope_]

I really try hard to not judge anyone , because I don't know everything going on in their life. I try to focus on helping myself, I like to help others as well but only the individual can accept a helping hand

(((((((((((((((((fuzzy)))))))))))))))))


Linda

I post here loads which is a form of self help to me....up and down etc...but I also like to try and help in my own way if I can. Just words sometimes can help, a friendly word, a hug etc....

I have to say although some days it feels and looks like I'm ad, I really am a lot better than I was.....thanks pc......sorry to all those who've had to listen to all the crap jin xx

[_Hope_]

jinny I don't think anything you have to say is crap

Linda

((((((((((((((bpd))))))))))

thankyou honey, love you big hugs Jin xxxxx

[Doh2007]

I don't know you very well yet, but I look forward to it. Does it bother you if people aren't making progress?

[(JD)]

One thing about progress, is that you don't notice it when you are close up and around it all the time. When you age with someone, you tend to overlook their aging, but let someone from your past show up and bam! you notice how old THEY are in a heartbeat.

As for others "not" progressing, doesn't bother me much, except I feel for them, compassion that they might still be stuck where they were. An online community, like some have shared, really doesn't give us a full view of where someone is advancing IRL. And if that someone or others keep a low profile, or even as I did, play the cards close to the vest, you won't "see" much progress, or change that might very well have occurred while you thought you were watching.

What each one of us has to keep forefront is our own progress. If we continue to work on ourselves each day, then that should keep us busy.

[wickedwings]

i pretty much focus on my own issues. i'm not being self-centered. it's the "take care of yourself, so you can take care of others" belief that i have and believe in. i'm not bothered by others' progress because we're all human and unique. i'm happy to be able to help whenever i can.

i understand the frustration of dealing with people who may be stuck on an issue over and over. i have that frustration with my own self, too. you might think it's like a tape being played over and over. from my own experience, it's more of a spiral because a lot of times when i had to revisit an issues, i'm dissecting it from a different perspective. typically, my struggle is over when i have dissected it from every different perspective. and it might be what's going on with others. just my own opinion and perspective.

i leave my judgement at the door before coming here because i want to be as welcoming as psych central has been toward me. it's truly a good place. i know it's not perfect, and that's because we're all human. but, as long as do the best of what we can do here, pc will be a great place for support.

another thing to remember, we as human beings all run at different paces.