so my step mom just sent me an email on friday
we were supposed to have this thing where we call eachother everyweekend taking turns with who calls
she didnt call on her week
so i didnt call on mine
and then weeks went by
and i sent her an email
and the responce i got as
its too much of a commitment
so im about to hit send to this email:

im sorry that im such a hard commitment to make
thanks for calling

courtney

do i do it. hurry

[kimmydawn]

oh (((((((((((((((((((( court )))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm sorry and I know that HURT, HURT, HURT.

I wish that hadn't happened. I truly do.

KD

[wickedwings]

ouch. (((((court)))))

but do i send it. is it ok to send that..

[_Hope_]

only you can decide if you should send it .

lots of hugs for you

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Court))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Linda

[kimmydawn]

I don't know, court. I agree that no one can really tell you whether you should or shouldn't.

If you want to show your hurt, that would show it for sure. However, would there be repercussions for you that would make it more difficult in the long run?

Whatever you decide, I'm sorry you have this decision to make.

KD

so in the end would it be worth it?

i mean she doesnt like me any way apparently so i mean she cant like ... not like me any more ?

im so comfused
why do people hate me. everyone.

[(JD)]

No, I wouldn't send it. Being disabled, I have those types of issues... and though I don't know a thing about her schedule nor her abilities, no reason to hurt her with a snide remark.

Why not just agree to try and email and or call when you can...

because she hurt me.
she calls 2 of my sisters every sunday.
not me,
im too much of a commitment.

thats like basically saying you suck

[nowheretorun]

those are really strong words it seems for a parent to use.. find strength in yourself though to create the outcome you want...

if peace is it, then be peaceful... simple...

best to you...

[Perna]

I would try to rise above her pettiness and/or "mock" her by calling her every other week just like you said you would. There's no reason you can't "help" her even if she is not a bright enough woman to know how pleasant it could be for her to call you like she said she would. But whatever, I wouldn't "copy" her and slip to her level?

[sabby]

(((((((((((( CK ))))))))))))

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Did you decide whether or not to send it? This is a hard thing to deal with.....I can so understand how hurt you must feel.


sabby

[eskielover]

I can understand the hurt you are feeling. I have a good friend whose mother always treated her like she hated her & yet her sisters could do no wrong & she constantly communicated with them....I know how hurt she is by that treatment & how it has effected her self esteme all her life. Her mother has since backed down, but doesn't act like she ever loved my friend like the rest of her children.

I do however think that you best action would be to call when you agreed to call....keep up your side of the agreement whether or not she does hers. That might just show her that even if she is too busy or whatever her excuse is for not being able to hold up her end of the commitment. She might be a bit like me in some cases & when I feel like I HAVE to do something then I tend to not want to.....it has to be because I WANT to do something that I will do it freely. You Mother might be dealing with an issue like that which she might not even understand exists. It took me awhile to realize that this was how I feel about situations that make me feel like I HAVE TO do something even when it is with family or close friends.

Take a step back & maybe make your communications a when you have a chance & see if that might make a difference with her.....you can still call when you have a chance on your side of the deal, but don't worry about it. It's important to take stress out of communications with family.....just see if a less stressful approach might work out....then both will feel better. Sometimes we have to check our jealousy in our feelings that others are being treated better than we are. There are reasons that hurt for sure, but sometimes we just have to accept the way things are in the family life & let go of the hurt & accept what we get as the best others can give. It's hard & yes, sometimes impossible, but worth a try to keep your own peace within yourself.

I am sad that you have been treated like this....it isn't fair & it's sad that life isn't fair to us & that family can't treat us with respect.....but it happens no matter how wrong it is.

Do what you need to protect your own feelings..that is what is really important,
Debbie

so.. i sent the email

what it said exactly was

"i'm sorry i'm such a hard commitment to make.
Thanks for calling.

courtney "

the email i got back..

"its not so much that your a hard commitment to make, thats a little harsh dont you think? I was hping you could show a little grace towards me blahblahblahblahblah "

usidgjhkdfjgfilvkrfdc
JKDFVGLKGMLVFDCK FDVO

seriously, whats wrong with me.

[Perna]

Doesn't sound like anything's wrong with you.

I'd send a reply, "Sorry I have so little grace to show toward you but this isn't the first time. . ." :-)

Know how much it hurts though, Courtney. I had a stepmother too.

[nowheretorun]

right on! ... so there's a channel of communication happening! i believe experience shapes each of us and in that fram, sometimes, children grow faster or in more current ways than the parent... sorta, the learning curve would be involved... anyway i hope you follow...

so maybe you are a better communicator? gently lead the way?
remember good vibes will mirror back at you...

hang in there...

i dont think im gonns reply to that email. maybe jsut ignore her..