Therapists, where is their commitment?

I guess I'm to new at this therapy thing but reading a lot of posts here on PC there seems to be a pattern of behavior by therapist that is troubling to me. (If it's true).

Let me preface this by saying I am very understanding of a caregivers need to take time off, to refresh themselves, to renew themselves so they can be more effective.

With that said...frequently I read about therapist "dumping" their clients, taking extended time off and leaving their clients dangling.

Again, maybe I'm just naive or have too high of expectations but this is upsetting to me.

Perhaps, because I'm so rough right now this is making me feel vulnerable-I don't know-but it's troubling to me.

Maybe some one can enlighten me that lives on the other side of the road.

Sorry, maybe I put this in the wrong place. IDK, maybe it would have been better in the therapy forum.

Darn my human side, I've messed up again.

Angel, thank you for posting this.....I really love your honesty and I wish I had your courage. I am new to therapy, I just started a couple of months ago after a traumatic event. I am still trying to figure out the therapist/client relationship. I've been having some difficulty with my T in the past couple of weeks.

I have been reading all the same posts as you and while I have been most enlightened, I 've become confused and troubled as well, so I would also appreciate more insight into this topic.


peace,
kt

Any T's or Pmd's want to chime in???!!

Well, first you have to keep in mind that when people have a positive experience with many different things in their lives -- whether it's with their car, a plumber, or a therapist -- they are content and happy and don't have a lot to write about. Sure, some people do write about the positive, but it tends to be a small minority of people who will take the time to put down into words their thoughts.

So the sample you're seeing in an online community such as this is what I'd call a "biased sample." People who have had a negative experience are far more likely to write about it or complain than those who've had a positive experience. Well, that's my opinion anyway...

Now, in terms of vacations and such, most therapists take a normal amount of vacations -- 2 to 4 weeks a year. In Europe, that number may be even higher because they don't work themselves quite as much as we do here in the States. Yes, it's hard when our therapist takes a vacation, but they're only human and need the break from work too.

Ethical therapists provide coverage, usually emergency in nature, but sometimes an actual appointment with another therapist, while they're gone.

Ethical therapists generally don't "dump" their clients, but they do recognize when they've reached the limits of their own expertise and experience and ability to help another person. Not every therapist can help every person who comes into his or her office. That's just not possible. Good therapists let the client know that up-front -- that if they don't feel like they can work together, they will provide a referral to another professional.

Therapists may also choose to end or terminate therapy before the client feels he or she is 'ready.' I can't speak to these instances, since I'm sure there are a lot of issues we're not aware of that might be a part of the reason this is happening. But a good therapist will let a client know this as soon as possible, and provide a few weeks' worth of transition time and help in finding the client a new therapist to work with.

The working class therapists I know typically spend more than 50 hours a week working, not just in session, but processing paperwork, filing claims, trying to get paid, etc. etc. In fact, I imagine one of the main reasons therapists leave the profession is due to professional burn-out from working too hard (and in some cases, caring too much, if such a thing is possible).

DocJohn

I know I'm one of the people complaining at the moment that my T is taking an extended leave, but this is rare. I've been in therapy with the same T for 9 years now, and it's mostly been a positive and incredibly helpful experience. Usually she takes about 3 weeks vacation a year, and she gives me lots of warning, and she usually takes time off at the same time every year, so I kind of expect it. When she does leave, she usually takes some time to make sure I'll be ok when she's gone.

She's been off or rescheduling my appointments more frequently in the past 6 months because her practice is shifting into more teaching / consulting and less clinical practice.

At one point she thought she might be relocating provinces and she made it very clear to me that she'd help me find a good replacement therapist who was trained in trauma.

So overall I'm very happy with my T.

--splitimage

Sorry if I stepped on your's or anyone's toes. I was just trying to understand this concept which was very foreign to me (and some other newbees).

Again, I know I am very sensitive and emotionally raw right now so maybe the subject left me feeling vulnerable.

At any rate thanks for your thoughts.

Regards-Angel

(((((((((((((((((((((( Angel )))))))))))))))))))))))))

I hear you! When I first started therapy I almost went out of my way to read stories of people being dumped by their therapists. I don't know why - maybe as a defense, to make it so I wouldn't get too close/dependent??

What has helped me is discussing this AT LENGTH with my T. I used to ask him constantly "are you going to refer me?" or he would comment about something "well, what's the worst that could happen?" and I would say "you would refer me". It was a HUGE fear of mine. I think it was partly self-protective, and partly just expectations based on my past - of COURSE no one could ever actually "be there" for me - I'm too much trouble, too bad, too in the way, should be able to take care of myself, etc., etc.

I feel pretty secure in my therapy relationship right now, and even then, as recently as last Friday when I was in crisis, T told me out of nowhere "I am not going to refer you". Those fears die hard.

((((((((((((((((((( Angel ))))))))))))))))))) I think the fears you are having are very, very normal. Can you talk to T about them???

Personally, i think it is always good to ask questions. otherwise we don't learn (or find out both sides of any thing). So keep asking!
Kiya

My T goes a way (as time off) periodically. I am lucky, I have not felt like I was left without a lifeline or dumped.

Hello Angel,

I thought I'd give you my 2 cents worth.

I have had both good and bad experiences in therapy. My first therapist had a severe boundary violation with me. My current therapist has strict boundaries and I trust her. These boundaries have allowed me to open up and talk about my trauma history. I was upset when she went on vacation for two weeks. Mostly because for the first time I had felt connected and close with her (this is something foreign to me). I have learned that for me I can only do the difficult work if I have this connection.

I believe that in many instances clients replicate past relationships with their T's. This may evoke negative transference reactions. Instead of becoming aware that they are doing this....They believe that the T is causing this behavior. That is just my 2 cents worth.

Thank you to every one for your thoughts, I have gained some insight. Thanks again!
Hugs-Angel