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#1
I often realize that I have shared too much information unnecessarily with others. I don't know why, but I feel I am not aware of this at the moment, but after I say to myself "why did I share this with that person"?
In general I feel I have poor control of my thoughts, emotions, and what I say or do, and if I am even a little bit tired, I start to act like a drunk not knowing what I am saying or doing. My mind often goes blank. Like totally blank, and I dissociate from reality. My vision becomes blurry and the time freezes. Right now, I see my hands are typing on the keyboard, but I feel these hands don't belong to me. I am writing this, because I think these things are the root reasons that prevent me from building relationships with others, and that's why I am alone, and being alone is the reason why I am depressed, and now I have so many problems to try to address at once, like not having a job to survive. I probably have an average IQ, and I don't think I am a bad person, but the inability to connect with others has literally ruined my life. |
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Anonymous32451, Anonymous46341, avlady, hvert, KD1980, Spirit of Trees, TunedOut
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Pygmalion, Spirit of Trees
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Grand Poohbah
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#2
Sorry so much is going on with you. Are you seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist? I can relate to the part about sharing too much (giving TMI). I do it when my mental health issues are at their worst. Through therapy and medication, I have learned that I can choose what to share--even to my therapist and the people I am closest to in my life. Perhaps we share to much when we are crying for help when we are overwhelmed. Not having a job is a serious issue that impacts everything--hard to have the healthcare you desparately need and harder to make friends when you have no money to go anywhere. Hope things get better for you soon.
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Anonymous46341, avlady
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Magnate
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#3
I get some of this. I don't go so far as to dissociate but I certainly do have a habit of sharing too much. I feel it necessary to explain things too.
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Anonymous46341, avlady
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Pygmalion
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#4
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I have also shared too much with people (and thought the same as you) after they've gone, why? I think for me it's the issue that over the years, I've become more and more open about my mental health (their was a time where I wouldn't even tell anyone what I was diagnosed with), but now I just meet someone and I just.... tell them without any reservations I think also with me it's you either don't know me, or you know all of me like the marolyn monroe quote if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best. people have a right to know |
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Anonymous46341, avlady
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#5
plus: I am bipolar, and when I'm mannic it just happens
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Anonymous46341, avlady
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#6
I get told I overshare a lot. I think it's an attention thing and also a lack of boundaries. It can also be a defense mechanism because if you tell someone everything and they leave right away, it's better than developing a close bond with them and then for them to leave afterwards after learning about your problems. So it's almost like a way to test people.
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Anonymous46341, avlady, KD1980
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Pygmalion
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#7
Impulsive is my middle name. I have also been called gabby, expansive, and many other things relating to what I have said and done. Like raging vortex, I also have bipolar disorder, but I believe my baseline tendencies include a lot of oversharing, as well. In my case, I even think anxiety plays a part. Some people clam up when anxious, others blurt everything out. I agree that it can push people away. That saddens me, but definitely penguinh makes a good point that at times it can potentially weed intolerant people out. Regardless, keeping my tongue in check is an important thing to practice because doing so brings more opportunities, especially if you can be a blunt person, like me.
Dissociative symptoms are something I have experienced in the past, but coping and grounding skills have helped ease them for me. I found myself sharing even more than usual during such times. It was similar to when I was drunk on alcohol. I've said some doozies and other regrettable things over the years. Definitely my hypomanic and manic episodes worsened the situation exponentially. |
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avlady
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#8
I have been told I over share by others. I just like being honest and up front about things, and I guess I just don't see personal boundaries like other people do.
I'm also really bad at understanding people and people tend to get very frustrated when talking to me. I really don't know what I do wrong. __________________ male hetero (GNC/CD phases) inorganic psychesexual (objectum spectrum) |
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avlady
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#9
For me it is not just about telling more details, but also about saying things I shouldn't say or completely irrelevant to the topic at hand or doesn't concern the person I am talking to.
Right now I would understand if it might be a cry for help, but even when I didn't need help, I was doing it, which made me unlikable, and I still am. I try to focus on what people say, but I always live in my head and just hear voices and see images, which makes engaging with others very challenging!! I either remain awkwardly silent, or I start I interrupting them, changing topics, saying stupid things ... etc. Either way, I am not a pleasant person, and people over the year have avoided me and treated me like I don't deserve to be acknowledged or helped if I need help. I am probably perceived as a self-centered person, but the reality is I cannot connect with people normally. I have empathy and sympathy with others, but when it comes to communication, everything is broken. I don't know if low self-esteem is a contributing factor or a result, but definitely my self-esteem has severely diminished over the years from the experiences I went through with people. |
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avlady, Pygmalion, TunedOut
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#10
I'm not sure it's that you're an unlike able person, it sounds more like you have intrusive thoughts or delusions that are messing with your ability to communicate. Do you recieve professional support for this? In short, you're probably great - it's just your brain being a bit naughty.
__________________ male hetero (GNC/CD phases) inorganic psychesexual (objectum spectrum) |
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avlady
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Grand Poohbah
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#11
Can't say if I really know but I wonder if drugs and therapy would help. Drugs might calm down the images in your head. Group therapy might help you practice focussing on what others say and responding to what they said. Responding to peoples posts on here might also give you practice with your communication skills. I have some days where when I respond to posts, I feel like I said something that connects while other days, I have given TMI or go off on tangents that are more about me than the Poster! However, responding to posts does give us social practice IMO. It's like training anonymously here where we are slightley safer than IRL. I think we can improve our communication skills through practice and study. I hope you keep posting and trying!!
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#12
Just to clarify, I don't see images in my head, but when I am talking with others I often dissociate, and their talk starts to appear just a noise or voice in the air, and their presence and faces are just images. Like I hear them and see them, but they are not real. Like in a dream.
I have a bad anxiety, and probably it plays a role in all of this. I have denied my problems for a very long time, but things are getting worse and worse. Therapy is something I am avoiding. Maybe because I am afraid of change. Of being accountable to someone. Of admitting I am in need for help and I need to put my pride aside and start doing what others might ask me to do. I don't know. |
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TunedOut
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TunedOut
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Grand Poohbah
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#13
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