[Fuzzybear]

Those Old old lying traps
''not being good enough'' and any number of variations on that one. I have been told by many ''intelligent'' and ''experienced'' people that my opinions are valuable and worthwhile.... but I have still hesitated to participate and eventually been shut out because of that. Like that 4 year old cub,
and like that **** year old who was thrown out of the house of the parental units - permanently for Daring To Talk...… what a terrible wrong thing to do, my gosh
''my but they learn so slow'' … but even the ''slow'' cub who actually has the ****ing intelligence to ''achieve'' an Honours Degree does learn... eventually.. mostly through the ghastly School of Hard Knocks which was forced on me. And as I said elsewhere, I have recently discovered I am an ''oral receptive type'' which doesn't make me the slightest bit happy

Disclaimer. I do not wish to receive any replies about how someone ''asked'' their ''abusive'' ''son'' to leave or anything like that. And how much they were suffering and how much better they feel having rid themselves of that ''emotional drain''..
1. I was never abusive
2. I am female.

Also I do not find replies saying things like ''move on'' in the slightest bit helpful. That is the type of ''advice'' offered locally (irl) and like most here I do not post for prescriptive advice that most of average intelligence who have been online for more than a year have Heard and Absorbed Multiple Times.


Thank you

Respect to all

[lizardlady]

Fuzzy, no advice from me. Just posting to say you were heard. (*(*(*(*Fuzzy*)*)*)*)

[splitimage]

((((Fuzzy)))), I'm sorry. I know how hard it is to erase those old incorrect, hurtful beliefs that were installed into us in childhood. I struggle with it too.

But you are absolutely one of the most thoughtful, and kind members I've encountered on PC, and you are definitely good enough. I hope you can come to believe that.

sending you gentle bear (((Hugs))).

splitimage

[*Beth*]

I am genuinely sorry that you were advised to "move on". An entirely worthless phrase for anyone to hear. In fact, the two words "move" and "on" should never be put together, at all.

[Serpentine Leaf]

I'm not sure if I can offer any advice here, but I can offer my understanding. When we give love, that creates a permanent bond that isn't easy to cast off, even if the other person only gave us pain.

A lot of us were raised with the message that we aren't good enough no matter how hard we work, no matter how much we give. I'm struggling to challenge these beliefs too that have fueled my low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. Not to mention so many unhappy and exploitative relationships.

You seem to be one of the most loved people on PC, Fuzzybear. Please listen to splitimage when he/she says you are definitely good enough.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by lizardlady

Fuzzy, no advice from me. Just posting to say you were heard. (*(*(*(*Fuzzy*)*)*)*)

Thank you lizardlady ((( hugs )))

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by splitimage

((((Fuzzy)))), I'm sorry. I know how hard it is to erase those old incorrect, hurtful beliefs that were installed into us in childhood. I struggle with it too.

But you are absolutely one of the most thoughtful, and kind members I've encountered on PC, and you are definitely good enough. I hope you can come to believe that.

sending you gentle bear (((Hugs))).

splitimage

Thank you splitimage ((( hugs )))

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I am genuinely sorry that you were advised to "move on". An entirely worthless phrase for anyone to hear. In fact, the two words "move" and "on" should never be put together, at all.

Thank you BethRags

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Serpentine Leaf

I'm not sure if I can offer any advice here, but I can offer my understanding. When we give love, that creates a permanent bond that isn't easy to cast off, even if the other person only gave us pain.

A lot of us were raised with the message that we aren't good enough no matter how hard we work, no matter how much we give. I'm struggling to challenge these beliefs too that have fueled my low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. Not to mention so many unhappy and exploitative relationships.

You seem to be one of the most loved people on PC, Fuzzybear. Please listen to splitimage when he/she says you are definitely good enough.

Thank you Serpentine Leaf

[MuseumGhost]

Very well said, especially what Serpentine Leaf wrote.

I know so well the emotional neglect, disappointments, and traumas that we can still carry from childhood, and even early adulthood. That particular type of pain can still be so hard to deal with.

It is a very tricky formula, healing. We have big brains, and are complex individuals.

Sympathetic and healing hugs for you, Fuzzy.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by MuseumGhost

Very well said, especially what Serpentine Leaf wrote.

I know so well the emotional neglect, disappointments, and traumas that we can still carry from childhood, and even early adulthood. That particular type of pain can still be so hard to deal with.

It is a very tricky formula, healing. We have big brains, and are complex individuals.

Sympathetic and healing hugs for you, Fuzzy.

Thank you MuseumGhost

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Much, much, much, much, much, much love!

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

Much, much, much, much, much, much love!

Much love to you dear Purple

[Thirty shades]

I agree dear Fuzzybear.

How many cubs have suffered from the lies told to them? Too many!

Talents that could have flourished are stolen rather than encouraged. My inner cub finds it hard to stick at hobbies to this day

Hugs and respect to all.