Stuck in an Endless Loop

Does anyone feel like they're stuck in an endless loop?

It goes like this:
I am happy for a little while, and things are going good -->
I mess some things up and things start to go downhill just a little (I have ADHD and make frequent mistakes in things I do, or have trouble starting/finishing goals) -->
I try to keep it together but I mess up more and more, and it gets worse. I start to feel sad, depressed, and hopeless, and worry about how things in the future will turn out -->
I go into another episode of depression, and I start to really hate myself and feel like everything I do just fails, my life continues to go downhill -->
I am in serious pain, maybe even suicidal, because everything is hopeless and I always mess things up no matter what I try -->
Some little stroke of luck happens and one or two things go my way, so I try a little harder, and try to remind myself of that one thing that went my way -->
Things start to brighten up a little, but I'm still anxious about it -->
I am happy for a little while, and things are going good -->

And on and on. If things are going good for me, I always end up messing it up and I fail without even knowing where I went wrong. The good in my life never lasts very long, and I always end up in a dark place. I've had at least one episode of depression a year since 2015 and I don't know if I can on much longer like this. I feel like I just disappoint everyone in my life. I feel stupid, worthless, and hopeless. I will never do anyhting with my life and I feel like my own parents hate me (which is crazy, because they're LITERALLY MY PARENTS, but I honestly feel this way).

I don't want to live anymore in this life if it all just ends in a bad place no matter what I try.

Does anyone else feel this way?

Does anyone else feel stuck in an endless loop with no way to get out?