Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Aug 09, 2004, 12:28 AM
cms39 cms39 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 449
Hi all. I am fairly new to this forum. I think I used to post with an old email address. I have been enjoying the chat too.

I guess you could say most of the bad stuff is behind me now. My father expected a lot from us. When I was in college, I always did well in my classes and started out a music major, but I changed to pursue a teaching degree, so I had to do my student teaching which, in short, was a nightmare. I was criticized so brutally and given an evaluation that pretty much said I was mentally unstable and unfit for teaching. So what could I do? I took a temporary clerical job at a bank when I graduated (they did allow me to gradute). Every night when I got home from work at the dinner table, my dad would start in on how so-and-so graduated from college and is a mechanical engineer and makes $50,000 a year. Every night. Someone else I didn't know was doing great. And he'd say it in a nice voice, like I was supposed to be happy. I was making six dollars an hour and not even full time at the bank! What a loser! Gosh, it still haunts me.

I am glad I'm self-employed now and married. I'm doing exactly what I want to do and quit trying the please my father. Even just last year, I almost took the MCATs because he just bragged and bragged about a classmate of mine who is a doctor and NEVER asked me a thing about my music, which I happen to be great at.

I am a big believer in forgiveness, though, and it takes a long time sometimes.

Anyway, that's whats on my mind tonight. I hope to enter some good insights sometime in the future.


advertisement
  #2  
Old Aug 09, 2004, 12:37 AM
Rapunzel's Avatar
Rapunzel Rapunzel is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
Welcome. I love music too (I play the flute and recorders - I know people don't think much of recorders but they are a good instrument when you learn to play them well - and a little piano & I'm going to learn the violin. I love to sing also). I wish I had done more with music, but I pretty much just play for my own enjoyment. What would you like to be doing with your music?

<font color=orange>"If a light beckons to you, follow it. If it leads you into the quagmire, you'll probably find your way out of it again; but if you don't follow it, you'll be plagued for the rest of your life by the thought that perhaps it was your star." Friedrich Hebbet</font color=orange>
__________________
“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”
– John H. Groberg

  #3  
Old Aug 09, 2004, 12:41 AM
cms39 cms39 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 449
Actually, after that bad teaching experience, you would think I'd never want to do it, but I teach piano one-on-one and I love it. I didn't start doing this until about 10 years after I graduated from college.

  #4  
Old Aug 09, 2004, 12:48 AM
Rapunzel's Avatar
Rapunzel Rapunzel is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
Good for you! It sounds like you have found something you can be happy with. Ok, now I'm inspired to take out my keyboard and do some practicing. I'm sort of new We're in the process of moving, and I'd love to get an actual piano, now that we will have a house with enough room for it.

I relate to the college experience too. I was going to go into speech pathology, but my last year the department decided I wasn't cut out for it, and I didn't get into graduate school. I could have graduated, but I didn't because I didn't resolve an incomplete grade. I had a second major in psychology, and after 12 years I went back and did a few more classes in that, & now I will have my degree. I'm applying to graduate school in psychology.

<font color=orange>"If a light beckons to you, follow it. If it leads you into the quagmire, you'll probably find your way out of it again; but if you don't follow it, you'll be plagued for the rest of your life by the thought that perhaps it was your star." Friedrich Hebbet</font color=orange>
__________________
“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”
– John H. Groberg

  #5  
Old Aug 09, 2004, 12:56 AM
cms39 cms39 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 449
Did you feel like a failure too back then?

It's good to kind of finish up old business and get your degree. I had 178 credits in everything from English and philosophy and humanities to statistics and computers plus did the education degree the last two years. I wish I had just finished an English or music degree or general studies, then I wouldn't have to say I have an education degree but no teaching certificate. Silly, I guess.

  #6  
Old Aug 09, 2004, 01:05 AM
Rapunzel's Avatar
Rapunzel Rapunzel is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
Oh, I sure did! It's still a big struggle to overcome it. I never thought I could do anything that mattered. You can always go back and get a degree in something else if you want to. You know, I thought about being a teacher for a while too, but worked at a private school my first year of college and dealing with large numbers of children was overwhelming for me. I'm much better one-on-one. It sounds like you are happy teaching piano, but if you wanted to have a different career, there are lots of possibilities still. Don't rule anything out just because your degree is in education. Do you have children? That education degree will serve you well in helping them learn also. Or maybe you could do private tutoring?

<font color=orange>"If a light beckons to you, follow it. If it leads you into the quagmire, you'll probably find your way out of it again; but if you don't follow it, you'll be plagued for the rest of your life by the thought that perhaps it was your star." Friedrich Hebbet</font color=orange>
__________________
“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”
– John H. Groberg

  #7  
Old Aug 09, 2004, 01:08 AM
cms39 cms39 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 449
I think I kind of really liked doing research in the library the best while in college. I would read lots about theories and philosophies in education. I was interested in education, but didn't REALLY want to work in a classroom. It overwhelmed me to be in the classroom too.

  #8  
Old Aug 09, 2004, 12:14 PM
dexter's Avatar
dexter dexter is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Dec 2003
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 3,133
I can relate to the parental comparisons... especially the one's in the "nice voice"... the really manipulative conversations with the "safety net"... if I ever called them on it or expressed how much I did not appreciate it, they would go with the "I didn't mean anything by it!" excuse. It didn't matter if I expressed that whether they meant it as a comparison or not, it still hurt my feelings... all that was important was that they "didn't mean anything by it" and so they would keep on doing it.

My dad was horrible. He used to make snide remarks comparing me to my cousin after every family gathering. That is one of the big reasons I stopped going to all those gatherings when I got old enough, and the rest of the family took offense because they thought I didn't want to see them... I just didn't want to be there with my father. He always showed his disappointment in me... as an example I was never good at sports and so he would constantly mention how good my cousin was at sports. I became so embarrased about it that I never pursued any sports so my reaction was always the opposite of what he intended. When I became a teenager I sort of "came to my senses" and understood what was going on so, like you, I stopped considering his approval to be an important thing and was just proud of the things that I was proud of. Many years later I went to one family holiday with them, at that point my cousin had begun to go to pot, and my dad remarked (actually he didn't, my mom told me he said this afterward) that I looked so much better than him. The compliment was meaningless and I had to hold my tongue from telling him off... because if his opinion was valuable enough for me to take that as a compliment, then I would have been utterly destroyed by his expression of his opinions for the many years preceeding.

Oh I've gone off I'm sort of new

Glad to hear of your success cms!!!!

------------------------------------
--http://www.idexter.com
__________________
------------------------------------
--I'm sort of new
-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- www.idexter.com
Reply
Views: 705

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
It's sort of like... littlemissjess Bipolar 11 Apr 18, 2007 08:54 PM
I sort of did it Gracey Survivors of Abuse 7 Oct 15, 2005 08:05 PM
Help me sort this out please. wisewoman Depression 13 Aug 21, 2005 09:57 PM
still around- sort of Jeanie Other Mental Health Discussion 6 Jul 01, 2005 03:39 AM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:59 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.