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#1
Jul 12, 2021, 08:09 AM
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Hey, I've been thinking about my past mistakes one situation in particular with a boy that I sent nude pics to years ago and he like blackmailed me and I was thinking that I probably sent those pics because I wanted him to love me. After some thought today and talking to friends I realized I probably would not have let him use me if I had actual love for myself. Its my fault I should have loved myself more and not allowed people to use me. This happened when I'm 17 but I still think about him and even miss him which I know is pretty messed up given what happened. I know that if I was stronger back than I wouldnt have been manipulated like that. I have a lot of regret and I dont want to feel like I need someone to complete me for the rest of my life because relying on anyone is gonna falter eventually. All of this thinking made me realize the psychological block I have in relationships, I can't attract anyone decent because I feel like a loser inside and it really is holding me back. My awful self esteem and value on life is making my life dismal and bleek how do I let go of my past self and my mistakes, when there everywhere I go? I feel like I'm treading water and going no where.
Last edited by black-roses; Jul 12, 2021 at 08:13 AM. Reason: Typos |
 downandlonely
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 leomama
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#2
Jul 12, 2021, 10:11 AM
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So Sorry for what happened! Please Do not give up!
  i think working with a therapist may prove Helpful if you aren't already doing that. i think there may be some books on the subject as well although i don't know much about it. Perhaps "Feeling Good" May Help. Definitely try to improve yourself. Stay Safe. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @black-roses, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!     
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#3
Jul 12, 2021, 10:58 AM
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Not of as yet but I will discuss it with my psychiatrist in two days, I'm really hoping for the groups they give as well, I could really use new life skills as well.
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#4
Jul 13, 2021, 11:06 AM
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One of the issues to start with is not having a true identity of yourself & your values. Those are my foundation that everything I do is based on & no one can change them....period!!!!
It is not just about self-esteem, it is about having set core values. My self-esteem grows out of my core values that define who & what I am as a person. So many people don't have core values....they blow with the wind & they do whatever other people want them to do just to please other people. Core values basically define your boundaries & when others try to force a change in your boundaries, you KNOW those are people you don't waste your time associating with. You don't have to tolerate people like that within your personal space. They will always exist in society. You don't have to be mean to them, but you don't have to let them into your life or your head space.
__________________
 Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
| Happy Camper
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#5
Jul 13, 2021, 09:54 PM
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That is such a good point. I guess I really have to identify my values. I know I fight for equality and I'm fair to everyone I don't really put up with people that don't respect my boundaries.
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| eskielover
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| eskielover
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#6
Jul 20, 2021, 05:09 AM
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To the OP,
You're no loser. You are worth it. So, please love yourself and don't put yourself down. I found out like you that people walk all over you if you allow them. So, you need to set boundaries and limitations. I know how it is to have low self-esteem since I was never praised while growing up and was abused mentally and physically. I am much older than you now but realized if you don't love yourself, nobody else will. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. When the wind is taken out of your chest, breathe again for fresh air. Please be strong and don't give up believing you are valuable and worth it in this cruel world. Life is difficult as it is. I encourage you to find yourself by being kind to yourself. Enjoy life as much as you can. Relax, sleep well, eat healthily, and stop worrying about things you have no control over. In this manner, you may have a brighter outlook on life. So, love yourself and people around you will notice how well you take care of yourself. Then, they may be interested in knowing you. Moreover, once you learn how to love yourself and take care of yourself, it is easier to love others and take care of them. Best wishes! |
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#7
Jul 20, 2021, 08:47 PM
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Traumatic childhood experiences can often lead to low self esteem. And it is common for women to let men treat them badly because they don't feel they deserve better. You realized you have the issue, which is the first step in working on it. I think the groups you mentioned may be helpful. Support groups have really helped me.
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#8
Jul 20, 2021, 09:11 PM
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Quote:
There is a saying, self esteem comes from esteemable acts. What do you do that you feel good about? |
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#9
Jul 29, 2021, 07:57 AM
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You act virtuously and honorably.
Then you take pride in that. Because that's all that really matters in this world. The most important thing to take pride in. Then you seek to help others. Helping "ethically-challenged" people become better members of society is something that one could also take great pride in. |
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