[itsjustme111]

Hey everyone. Well, I wrote a letter to my pdoc. I took it in today and he saw me. I handed it to him and tried to escape. He grabbed my arm and took me in his office. I said that he looks way too busy, I had to go. He said, Oh thats the other doctors clients; so get in here and sit down. So I did. He said, 'what happened yesterday, why did you hang up.' I said sorry and told him that I was upset and angry at the way he dealt with things. He said he felt really bad and is sorry. He was also frustrated because I have not let him know whats been going on.
All of a sudden; I completely fell apart. I was crying so hard I could not speak. He said, "dont be so hard on yourself, you need help and thats what I am here for." He reached over and held my hand. He said when I was ready, go ahead and talk. So I gathered myself and it all poured out of me. He picked up his phone and said he was admitting me immediately. I jumped and said NO. I explained about the kids; they will be with dad on the 22nd. He said he is not willing to wait that long. His words were, "look at you my dear, Liz stop putting yourself aside, you are a mess and need help." He wanted me to phone the kids father and get them to his house right away. I had to laugh. I told him that he had phoned and said he cant take care of them right now, that I needed to keep them until the 22nd.
He hit the nail on the head when he said; "he has not changed has he, when it suits him, he dumps everything on you, whats this guys problem anyway. He fights for custody but shows no care or concern for these kids." I said, we all know that. He wont change.
So, I am going in to the hospital on Monday. I go to his office at 10:30 and he will arrange it from there. He asked me to phone me if I feel that I cant wait until then; to phone him right away. He said, "Dear, I cant read your mind, you need to work with me." There was more said but I wont go on and on. I was so emotional when I was there but it felt really good. I am comfortable with him so I was able to do this. I didnt realize how much I had inside me.
Before I left; he held out his hand. I took it as I thought he was going to shake mine; I was wrong; He took my hand so gentle, grabbed my arm and hugged me. I almost fell apart. It was an amazing feeling to have someone reach out like this.
Hey all; THANK YOU SO MUCH!! For the support, love, caring, compassion, kindness, and most of all; the push I needed to keep sane and get help. Love you all and I will be here until Monday. He will eventually give me passes, so when he does, I will come on.
Oh, with regards to the court issues; he said, "well to bad for them. How do you think you could possibly go through these court issues. You cant even think clearly and I am having a hard time following you because your thoughts are racing so bad you jump from one thing to the next. I know how sick you are dear, but you need to see it. Start be honest with yourself and take a look at whats happening here. This is not the Liz that was in my office a few months ago. This is not you, its your illness." He went on to say; "and I see that you are struggling with your eating disorder. You look sick and we need to sort this out in a safe environment where I can help you."
I am glad that he recongized some of this because its hard to talk about everything at once. He also knew that I have not had any sleep lately. He asked how much sleep I have been getting. I kind of giggled though; I said to him, "you talked to Dr. B......, so you know most of this anyway." He said he had spoke with him but its obvious with my apperance. Then he reminded me how long he has been my doctor and he knows my issues and past history.

Man, I am so sorry. I am going on and on, like I said I would stop. I am between feeling hopeful to nervous. I cant shut up. What a relief; thats the best way to describe it. Oh poo; when I had mentioned above that his office was really busy; my doctor said it was the other doctors clients that works in the same office. The brat lied to me to get him in his office before I tried to run away. When I was leaving he called the next person in. I looked at him with a "hey you little bugger". He smiled. The other doctor is away; I didnt see the note posted at the front when I came in. See what I mean, he knew I was going to bail.

itsjustme

itsme.

[gloria]

Hi!
I am happy for you and then again, a little concern that we won't be able to hear from you for a little while.
Please take care of yourself. I sure look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.
We sincerely care.

gab

[itsjustme111]

Gloria, its a safe place for me and thats good. I will be on until I go. I will keep posting. I have some hope now.
justme

[gloria]

The system will be down for a couple of days (Aug 20 - 22), just so you know.

Take care

gab

[SeptemberMorn]

<font color=red>Alright!! Yeah!!</font color=red> I'm so glad you got things worked out with your doc and that you're finally getting the care you need! !!!! You go, Girl!





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[SweetCrusader]

i replied to your other post about your doc before i saw this one. so ignore my comment on the other one, cuz i think he redeemed himself.

i'm sorry things are so rough for you, and i hope that you get it all straightened out. it sounds like you're on your way.

good luck! ((((((hugs))))))

angela (sc)

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-

[(JD)]

This is good to hear! WOW yes, we know how much you have been going through, and how you have been struggling.

The site won't be down ALL weekend, so keep checking if it isn't available right when you "need" to get in... with that said, I will probably not be on this weekend nor part of next week as I am sending my notebook in (I hope for upgrade!) Somehow, I don't think you will miss me much. There are plenty of others here who care about you too!

Take care... you're headed in the right direction and sounds like you have a WONDERFUL doctor.. also good news!

<font color=green> ...slip sliding away... slip sliding away....

[Peanut61]

This is good news, (((((((It's Me))))))), and don't forget, we are here and will be here when you get passes/come home!

Warmest regards, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

[dexter]

I am glad this is coming together for you. I think you will be able to make it OK because it is only for a few more days and you know you will be getting the help you need after that. Do follow the doc's advice and call if you need to before Monday.

DocJohn says there will be a temporary site up for the few days that this site is moving. This place may not be unavailable for very long or it may be for a day or two depending on how smoothly things are going. I hope we will be able to hear from you before you go in but know that we will all be here waiting for you and wishing you the best.

------------------------------------
--http://www.idexter.com

[itsjustme111]

FIRST OF ALL;;; (((((((((((((Sky)))))))))))))) of course I am going to miss you. You know one of my posts I had said; we all say and do things when we are sick and we dont realize that it may have hurt someone. Guess what dear; that was meant for me as well. I need to keep in mind that we are all struggling here. I care about you Sky and I should not have said what I did. I am so very sorry for hurting you. You are a great person and I read things that u post as well. I have also listened to how hard you try to help others. Give yourself more credit dear; you are a special person; who is going through a lot. Okay; I will MISS U!! ((Gloria, September, Sweet, Peanut, Dexter)); Thanks so much and with the comments about my doctor also making a mistake; yes he did. I think this one went both ways and we apologized to each other and that was good. But he did show his concern and most importantly; how much he does care. We all make mistakes no matter who we are; I think it was a lesson learned for both of us. I have missed appointments before; I think 2 others in the last 2yrs. It happens but I see his point as well. I guess we can say; its all part of life. I have learned a lot over these years. I am lucky to gained what I have because it did make me stronger in some regards and I still learn everyday. You have all taught me so many things and sometimes we may not like to hear what others say; but it sure does make us think. We all need to express ourselves; maybe not always the best way; but its what we know at the time. Oh my goodness; I sound like a t. AAAHHHHHHHh. I am going to go hide now. lol. talk to u soon.

justme

[Leslie]

((((((((((((((((((((((((Just)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

WOW what a story with a happy ending. I am sooooooooo happy for you that you will be getting help starting Monday. Sounds like you do have a good therapist there.Please keep me informed about what happens in the next up coming weeks.

Your on my mind and in my heart.,
Your friend Leslie

[(JD)]

Thanks "just" hehehehe you won't miss me long... we'll both be back sooner or later eh?

I sure hope it helps you!

<font color=green> ...slip sliding away... slip sliding away....

[angel04]

this must be a huge weight lifted off your shoulders. I'm glad you got it all worked out with your doc and that you'll be taking care of yourself. Put yourself first and everything else will fall into place.
All the best to you and please post when you're back and feeling up to it.
take care
tina

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