hokay so my dad has been in Iraq for 6 months now, and my parents are divorced. My father lives in another state and remarried a women who already had four kids. My dad also had four daughters with my mom. but i have always felt like her kids got better treatment because she controlled it all? Ever since my dad married this women and i am around i just get this really odd vibe. I dont know how to explain it. like okay first off she can be so totally cool and she can be great to talk to, especially about God. But sometimes i feel like she is such a hypocrite.. she can say stuff about other people and how what they are doing is wrong and yet do things herself that make me confused and sometimes im just like what? SHe can make me feel bad in a way i cant explain.. like a person being "nice" yet they seem to be mean but are trying to make it not obvious they are.. that hidden meaness if that makes sense. But anyway so now my dad flew here for the weekend and i am staying at my sisters house (which wont let me into chat lol) and i feel like im almost jealous of my step mom because i feel like she is all over my dad when i just want him to myself and already have to share him with 3 sisters. So im like you got to see him for a week and still will get to see him until friday (he has to go back to Iraq until the earliest of september) and i just get him until sunday can you like share???? geez. but okay also sometimes i wonder if i give my dad too much credit. My mom talks so much crap about my dad and how he doesnt fully pay child support and blah blah blah and that always makes me feel like well why doesnt my dad care enough about us to pay the child support? and also last summer i went to summer camp for 2 weeks and my dad was supposed to pay half of it but he refused and my mom said that if she got a lawyer it ends up costing her way more then it would to just pay for my camp. Apparently my dad told my mom that camp wasnt a neccesity and i could go with out even though part of the divorce agreement is that my dad would have to pay for half of camp, tutors, etc.. I am totally attached to my camp though and i feel that it is where i get my spiritual insperation.. so i neeeeeed it! Anyway so this summer my mom told me she really cant afford my camp because i am already going to spend a month in europe with some friends and thats really really expensive, so i dont blame my mom but i just really need my camp. So my mom told me to talk to my dad but not to count on him because he always lets us down.. so tonight i talked to my dad and step mom about camp and told them all about how much it helps me with GOd and understanding and just overall spiritual well being and they seemed to get it and said they would talk about it tonight at the hotel... But what really bothered me is that my step mom said so do you want us to pay half and your mom will pay the other half? and i was like uhh no.. uumm my mom payed for me to go for two weeks last summer and dad refused to pay for half of it so if he pays for the whole week this summer that would be like paying for half of the two weeks last sumnmer.. and my step mom was like well thats not how your father is he wouldnt just refuse to pay and i didnt hear anything about this so im sure you mom is leaving something out and you are missing some information... Im like why are adults so turjhgkjrfd i dont know what is going on i am so sick of being in the middle of all these adults who dont get along and apparently none of them care about me! so yeah im sorry i just wrote so much but i needed to get it off my chest and its 12 30 am so exucuse all the grammar errors and spelling because im so tired but i needed to get this out! help?
sigh, my head is killing me and so is my chest but i forgot my medicine that helps with my chest pain

[curley]

It is always sad when you cant see your mom or dad whenever you want. And it is difficult to share them with anyone, especially when they are not "your family" I think sometimes we tend to feel insecure at those times. But maybe not!
It is unfortunate that your mother speaks so poorly about your dad. That behavior will probably lower your opinion of her instead of the other way around. You are upset because you dont think your dad cares enough to pay for certain things for you. How do you know that the explanations your mom gives you are right/. If you really want to understand or know why your dad did something, you should ask him yourself. He may have better answers then your mom gave you.
I dont know about your step mom cause I am not there. But I do know about the hidden meanness! Or I think I do anyway. Actually I thought it was always a fake niceness!!! LOL LOL.

I would not compromise who you are but I would stay on your step moms good side. That would make your dads life more peaceful. And I am sure that would mean more time with him.
I am sorry you are feeling caught in the middle of your mom and dad. I think I would ask your mom not to tell you about their problems!
I hope your situation gets better soon.

[Perna]

I know about the jealousy, I can still remember when my father first married my stepmother and I'd literally get inbetween them when my father would get home at the end of the day :-) My father was gone for 8 months in the service (1957 :-) and it's very hard; I have 3 brothers and a stepsister.

Married folk need a separate time. It's almost as hard for them as for kids. Sounds like your Dad is spread kind of thin financially with all the children to take care of in two marriages. I think you only get one or the other of your things to do. I went to Europe my senior year and had to trade my stepmother the promise that I would get a job in the summer. Your father is probably paying as much as he can afford, helping pay for your food and mortgage and stuff so your mother can afford your trip to Europe. Are there multiple sessions at camp? Maybe you can get a job before or after to pay for it? Borrow from your sisters' and pay them back in services or something?

[AAAAA]

Shame on your parents for putting you in the middle of an adult situation!

[youOme]

Yes, I agree with AAAA...that should be between Ma and Dad.

As far as sharing, it's sometimes difficult when there's many to share him with. Just be sure to express to your Dad that you need some of him as well. Hopefully he'll see your side of it.

[SeptemberMorn]

I agree 100% with AAAA! Your mom needs to take care of her problems with your dad without dragging you into it or passing judgement on him! I learned that the hard way. When I divorced my ex, I was always bad mouthing him thinking I was doing my kids a favor by letting them know what a no-good jerk he is. Finally, my daughter told me I had to stop. She said, "He may be an ***-hole but he's MY ***-hole." You might tell your mom the same thing. That's totally not cool of her!

BTW, I think Perna may be right in saying that your dad spread kinda thin. Definetely agree on the jealousy, too! I'd probably feel the same way. It's up to your dad to make time for you, though. There's nothing wrong with telling him so.