[blueparakeet78]

How do you deal with hopelessness? When you feel like nothing you ever do will change things so you don't even bother trying anymore. That's what I feel and have felt for a long time.

I recently quit my job because I wanted to take a break. However I have no motivation to work again because I feel like no matter how much I work or how much money I earn in a regular 9-5 job I will never have the life I want or do the things I want to do. Things have gotten so expensive, housing market in my area is crap and unattainable anymore.

I'm stuck living at home with my parents, no relationships with anyone, no friends. And to top it off I'm in my 40's which is the worst. Most everyone my age has moved on and has a family of their own or at least doing something. Me I'm stuck in what feels like perpetual teenage years.

I have also had and currently have some unknown health issue that has been plaguing me on and off all these year which has had impact on my daily life. I keep going to the doctor for answers but nothing conclusive has come up so far. And I desperately want to feel good but can't. So there is some hopelessness with respect to my health as well.

I don't know what path will bring me success and get out of this rut. I feel like time is running out for me to 'catch up' and I wonder if I ever will.

I tried counselling but they were promoting this mode of therapy called ACT which didn't really help me much. Not sure what else to do.

[GypsyButterfly]

I'm sorry for what you've been experiencing. Especially having a health issue that they're not certain what it is. It's difficult to keep hope alive when you don't see, even a glimmer, of that light at the end of the tunnel. I've had many despairing times myself. I'm a 3x cancer warrior (in active maintenance for stage 4 uterine). Am a lifelong depressive due to various abuse through the years. Starting with my mother. I've also had some PTSD & I believe I have Imposter Syndrome, though it hasn't been diagnosed yet. I've also been homeless.

I've been doing inner work & healing the past few years. Very beneficial & a lot of growth. I recently started treatment for things I've been stuck on. One thing I've learned about & better understood is what self care I need. It includes watching funny vids on YouTube. Even if it just resets my mind & mood for a few mins. My suggestion, if you haven't already is, figure out what things you can do to give yourself a boost each day, if just for a little while.

For most of my life I was more future oriented. I don't know if that's common with those who go through abuse. Being able to look forward to a better tomorrow (even if that tomorrow was next week, month, year, etc) helped. Now I'm learning to be present in the moment & take each day as it comes. That's all we can really deal with, is the here & now. Because we don't know what's going to happen next. You're welcome to DM me if you ever want to share or vent about anything.

[blueparakeet78]

Thanks, that's the thing, I don't have that positive outlook for the future. I always see people in situations that are very difficult and I don't understand how they carry on as normal and stay positive.

I think I have a strange perception of life. I have expected everything to be a certain way and when things don't work out that way I get really down.

[moodyblue83]

Expect nothing , and you won't be disappointed.
Since I was a child I knew that the world was " not right ".
And then I realized though that the world is what it is ! I have to adapt to the world , the world does not have to adapt to me.
I wasted so much time that I also feel like I have a lot of catching up to do. But catch up to what ? The Jones's ?
I may not have lived the life that I dreamed of but does that mean I haven't lived ? How about some gratitude ? Are you willing to work 2 jobs to be able to afford your own place ?
If you really want to change your life become proactive. Make some phone calls. Get started. Despite your situation you are still better off than at least 50% of the rest of the world.
Good luck......
( This was written for myself and anyone else who ID'S with it. )

[SquarePegGuy]

Originally Posted by blueparakeet78

How do you deal with hopelessness? When you feel like nothing you ever do will change things so you don't even bother trying anymore. That's what I feel and have felt for a long time.
-snip-

I can identify with that, and I'm sorry you feel that way.

GypsyButterfly wrote, "figure out what things you can do to give yourself a boost each day, if just for a little while." I would alter that slightly to read, "figure out what things you can do for someone else, if just for a little while." It's based on the Dalai Lama's saying that "the path to happiness is through service to others." (paraphrased).

A great many people and organizations need help. Maybe someone's need lines up with something you enjoy?